Name: Eve | | Location: staffordshire , UK |Question: Not really a question, more of me asking your 
opinion.
What gives with these guys apart from labelling them as mentally ill?
For example.
Stage 1 Texts day & night, said he loved me after a couple of weeks.
Stage 2. I broke it off. I got back in touch, he then had a girlfriend he didn’t like much but we could have sex….hmmm.
Stage 3. I broke contact again-yeah I know, fool me once…
And now every few months I get the, Hi how are you doing texts?
Before someone asks, yes it was the same person I wrote about some while ago. |Age: 36
I don’t understand what you mean. What gives? What gives is that this guy likely has and always had a girlfriend and was looking to get a piece on the side. Or he’s just one of the bazillion people out there who like to waste people’s time. Since you kept breaking contact, he figured out that your threats of cutting him off were empty. So when he feels the itch you’re someone (of likely a few) that he reaches out to.
I don’t think there’s a personality disorder of mental illness that explains this. A guy wants low maintenance sex so he turns to someone he thinks will go for it. You showed him, by contacting him multiple times, that you might be open to hooking up. You may have said you weren’t and even told him off. In cases like that, when a woman keeps coming back and coming back, despite little to no effort from the man, what they hear is “I’m not over you” or “I’m lonely/vulnerable.”
You know who this guy is. Yet you keep returning to the empty well. The question isn’t what’s up with him. It’s what’s up with you that you keep subjecting yourself to this?
Stop responding and cut off contact. Then throw away his number, delete it from your pone, block him on various sites, etc. Or just give in. You know you want to.What’s holding you back is this need you have for him to treat you differently so you can feel less bad about it.
Well, he’s not going to do that. And even if he does, it’s just to get you in to bed. So you can take what he offers at face value and accept it. Hell, you might even enjoy it. Temporarily of course. Or you can try and nudge him in to some sort of faux courting ritual. Either way you’re going to be on the receiving end of that Dear Jane letter where he tells you he’s met someone else, can’t keep doing this, this doesn’t work, etc. That is, if he even bothers to tell you he’s moved on.
He wants to get laid. So either give in or don’t. But definitely stop analyzing it. You’re trying to uncover a mystery that doesn’t exist. This is more along the lines of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Why does he text you? To have sex with you.
Mystery solved.
You should have run a long, long time ago.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have been in that place a few times as well as put men in that place when I am lonely or bored. It isn’t just a guy thing, but as Moxie said, you have to deal with the truth and decide, if you are sick of being used, then move on! Or enjoy it until it is over!. No easy way to handle the news that this is not about love… it is strictly about sex! Sorry.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I got back in touch, he then had a girlfriend he didn’t like much but we could have sex….hmmm.”
I wouldn’t call him the one who’s mentally ill.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’d be more concerned that your confused by this guys actions rather then what he is doing. It’s really really obvious and I’m not sure what payoff you are hoping this guy will give you? Declare his love again? That didn’t work. Declare his sexual desire for you? You didn’t dig that. Sooo what is it you want then? Validation from a guy who is willing to cheat? That should bother you greatly that you want that type of guy as your source.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
lots of assumptions from people but it’s to be expected I suppose.
I’m not sleeping with this guy.
The example I used were in relation to something Moxie wrote & it’s something those on her mailing list would have read.
From what I can take from the responses in terms of Moxies male types-which is what my post was about (I figured to use a personnel eg rather than leave it blank)
MEN-they’re all no good shits who are just out for sex.
Great attitude. Is this site closing down now?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I remember you now, Eve. Seriously, I cannot make any sense out of what you’re asking or what your point is, if there is one. If you want to get an intelligent response, could you please stop saying “I know, yada yada yada….” and actually complete your thought with words? Thanks.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The POINT for the hard of understanding is this –
in relation to what Moxie posted in her mail shot, about a Male ‘types’.
I then made a comment about how each of those ‘types’ can form stages, for each of those dating types I linked it to a personal example.
It was light hearted, however, in the light of the main thrust of responses being directed toward my welfare (not needed) & the general attitude that men are just out for one thing. I seems kinda pointless.
DMN – what yada, yada are you on about?
BTW – my post got chopped to reference THIS.
“The Crash & Burner? You know, the guy who pours it on thick on the first couple dates, starts talking in “we” over cocktails on your first date, that emails you hello and goodnight every day and then…disappears?
The Emotional Vampire? He’s the guy that breaks things off with you, but checks back in regularly inquiring if you’re still seeing someone? He tells you how much he cares for you, wishes he could be the person you want him to be..but yet never actually tries to do so?
The Chimpanzee? This man is taken, but flirts endlessly, usually via text or email, but never makes a move. Only after you’re attached doe she reveal he “kinda” has a girlfriend “but things aren’t going so well.” He’s trying to set up his next relationship before he even ends his current one. He won’t let go of one branch till he has a firm hold on another.
The Svenagli? His words and his actions don’t match up. You believe everything he says, even though your gut and your girlfriends tell you he’s full of it. This guy brings out your worst side – the needy, over analyzing, insecure side. You do things that normally you wouldn’t. It’s almost like he has you hypnotized.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Because I know/knew someone who would behave this way?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What’s not clear from your original writing is whether or not you actually slept with him anyway, and you have since clarified that you didn’t. I now assume that you immediately broke contact again after learning of the girlfriend. If you didn’t, or tried to be “just friends,” I would wonder about you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0