First, perhaps people need to take a closer look and understand the difference between a woman who’s personal goal is to be strong and independent, and a woman who also wishes others to see her as strong and independent. the first type get their personal satisfaction by drawing boundaries, and only go on the offensive when those boundaries aren’t being respected. while the latter type, often adopt a behavior that would facilitate the way which they wish to be seen. the first type rarely announce their strength or independence, while the latter type, you can almost expect them to announce such on a regular basic and through many of their actions.
of the female friends I have, almost all of them can be considered strong and independent, because almost all of them have proven so by their own actions and their own lifestyle. yet out of all of them, only two of them have the need to display their strong and independent self, both of them go through lengths to act both directly or indirectly, in order to get people around them recognize their strength and independence. and here is the funny thing, I can describe them both, quite easily, as bossy and domineering. and being a extremely independent guy myself, I would often run into major problems with those two because their need to display and my need to maintain my dignity as a man would come clashing. – Visitor
“when you talk about women who have transformed themselves into men, what do you mean by that?” I’m referring to how many women seem to think they need to become masculine (or what they think is masculine) to be equal to men, thereby rejecting their (and other women’s) femininity as inferior. That can only come from deep insecurity and self-loathing, which is never attractive.
“Do you mean women who don’t have a feminine appearance?” That’s a small part of it; just look at the ridicule Hillary Clinton has endured for her entire career for always wearing pantsuits and for her butch haircuts. There are clear physical differences between men and women, and men naturally prefer women who embrace those differences over women who try to hide or ignore them.
“Or do you mean women who exhibit qualities that, when exhibited by men, are admired by both women and men, but when exhibited by women, are not similarly admired by men?” That’s it, in a nutshell.
Furthermore, such women often model the worst, rather than the best, characteristics of men–and then wonder why neither men nor women like them. That can only come from a deep hatred of men, which for obvious reasons is not attractive to men. – Crotch Rocket
Strong and independent should never be perceived as solely masculine characteristics. This guy says in a related post, “Strong and independent are two wonderful adjectives that belong to men” and has himself decided that any woman who considers herself strong and independent is instead “bossy and domineering.”
Some of the other stuff, yes, that’s high maintenance BS…I don’t think either gender should be “demanding,” “aggressive,” “difficult,” or “uncompromising.” Those are just negative qualities, period.
But someone who says…it’s OK for a man to be a certain way, but not for a woman, with qualities that otherwise have positive correlations…that’s usually an indication that someone is insecure, resentful, and/or sexist. And yes, angry. Maybe he has a female boss who he doesn’t like, or realized that someone he dated wasn’t the demure deferential type of woman he wanted, but that doesn’t mean he gets to redefine the language. I don’t read female profiles, so I’m not sure what others are out there saying…but I’ve had no problem attracting the type of man I’m looking for without downplaying my professional success or personality attributes. – P.