What’s The One Thing You Could Improve/Change About Dating?

In preparation for our upcoming Date Smarter Salon on Dec 7th, I’m writing the outline and companion e-guide.  We’re going to be covering a lot of topics in the class. Such as:

~Online Dating

*How to spot and deal with the time wasters, what behaviors are common, how to make first contact and take thing soff line

~Maintaining Privacy/Security

*Did you know someone can do a Google Image search of your dating profile photos or email address/phone number and get yall kinds of private info?

*How much dating re-con work should you do? How much is considered a violation of privacy?

*How does Facebook and Twitter help/hinder dating and relationships?

~Dating & Sex – Is There Such a Thing As Having Sex Too Soon? -

*How long will a man wait for a woman to decide if she’s ready to take thing to a physical level?

*Do men really judge women for having sex after just 1-3 dates?

~Dating & Finances -

*How has dating changed in the new economy?

*Who pays?

*How have gender roles changed?

~Dating & Commitment

*Why do they act like  aboyfriend/girlfriend but won’t commit?

*Are people committing any more? Why or why not?

*Why do there seem to be more casual and/or Faux-lationships?

 

Here’s my question to you. If you could give the opposite sex (or same sex) advice on any dating related topic…what would it be?

And…

If you could change one thing about dating, what would it be?

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8 Responses to “What’s The One Thing You Could Improve/Change About Dating?”

  1. Charlie Says:

    If you think you aren’t ready to date, don’t go out with a guy to see if you are. You’re just risking his emotional availability if he really is into you.

    Alternatively, don’t use “I’m just not ready yet” as an excuse to end things. If you don’t feel it with a guy, own it and tell him so he doesn’t waste any time waiting for you.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  2. Breebree Says:

    1. Know what you want and why you want it and be sure you want what you want for the right reasons.
    Also make sure you can effectively and clearly express what you need and want in a relationship.

    2. Learn to deal with rejection and disappointment – sh** happens….suck it up and move on.

    3. If you want to be a really great husband or wife learn fully what that means in every sense of the word and make sure your ready to be that 24/7 365. If not don’t get married.

    4. Choose partners for the Right Reasons

    5. Most importantly Be Honest with Yourself and other people….Don’t waste your own time or other peoples. Once time is gone you can’t get it back! “Time is the highest commodity available to man, it should not be wasted. “

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  3. Mr. R Says:

    Online dating – Don’t speak over email for months – use the phone. And stop texting – texting is lame.

    Maintaining Privacy/Security – Also mention geotags. You should recon your dates – google them, linkedin search them, yahoo search them. If it is publicly available, then it is OK.

    Dating and Sex – A man will wait as long as he wants to wait. If she is special, we will wait more. Yes, we judge women for having sex on the first date.

    Dating and Finances – Don’t do expensive stuff on the first date. Women, offer to pay, and be sincere about it. Men, just pay, because it is effective.

    Dating and Committment – Because deep down, they know that the other person is not the one. Yes, people are committing more (amazing what a down economy will do).

    I would change the attitudes of people and how picky people are – there are things that are annoying, and things that are dealbreakers. Everyone settles, just accept it and move on.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 5

    • Goldie Says:

      “And stop texting – texting is lame.”

      Two things…

      1) I wish the word “lame” would go away and never come back. No, it is not a PC replacement for all other derogatory terms that people wish they could use, but are afraid to. Some of us do walk with a limp, ya know? (not me, but I’m closely related to people that do.)

      With that out of the way…

      2) Texting is awesome. Who has the time to carry daily phone conversations anymore? How do you think we make the time for those dates with you? – by running around like a chicken with its head cut off during the rest of the week, trying to get all our errands done so you can have our undivided attention 1-2-3-etc. nights a week. I tried talking on the phone with the guys I dated, while going about my housework, errands etc, at the same time — they complain about background noise. To have a phone conversation on a level acceptable to the guy, I had to drop everything and sit in my room with the door closed for the duration of the convo. How many adults can do it on a regular basis?

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

      • Skiz Says:

        When you’re married you seem to find time for daily phone conversations just to keep life running smooth. If marriage or living together is your goal you better find time for communication. And not just a quick text here and there which if you think about it has the emotional equivalent of a post it note.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

        • Goldie Says:

          I was married for nineteen years, and before you say anything, most of those nineteen years were decent. Never did we ever call each other at work, except for emergencies. Instead, every evening, we did this little thing called talking. You know, like face-to-face? I don’t see my (happily) married or engaged coworkers yakking on the phone at work, either. Since we’re talking about emotional equivalents here, to me a phone call is an emotional equivalent of “I don’t care what you’re doing, drop it all right now so we can chat.” Eh. Not my communication style.

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  4. Odds Says:

    Dating advice to women: stop listening to anyone who is trying to make you feel better by saying what you want to hear, and start listening to people offering solutions. Put on your big-girl ego and accept the constructive criticism, especially the kind you are giving yourself deep down inside.

    … That came out a bit more forcefully than I intended, but I’m going to leave it that way anyhow. It bears repeating, and maybe shouting it loud enough will result in more long-term happiness and self-improvement.

    If I could change one thing about dating: if we’re getting fanciful, I’d distribute magic sunglasses that tell you if the person you’re looking at is single, and either how many dates they’ll go on without getting laid (for women) or how many dates she’ll need to go on before putting out (for men).

    More realistically, if I could change one thing, I’d remove the required “socially acceptable conversation” that always ends up sounding like a job interview and skip right to the good stuff – the comfort talk, talking about each others’ passions, the joking and rapport. I have no problem sounding interesting, or being interested in what a girl has to say, once we get that far. Passion is good, comfortable rapport is good. But it’s hard to be witty and interesting when I’m reciting the names of close relatives or trying to explain what my job is about. Personally, I’d have no problem feeling connected to a girl who doesn’t know what I do for a living or how many siblings I have, but who was able to compare her love of hiking to my love of rock-climbing.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

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