Here’s an interesting article about the popularity/dependency we have developed in regards to texting:
Texting allows people to fit dating into their busy schedules, Beyer said, instead of having to make time for it”….”I believe women are the leaders in relationships, and they can turn the tide on this one,” Beyer said. “Every time a man sends you a message, write back and say, ‘I would love to hear your voice. I’m not much of a texter.’ “
First? If a guy does comply, he’s doing it out of duress, not genuine interest. Second? By making such a request of someone you haven’t met or have only met once or twice, you are telegraphing the fact that you require a lot of attention or are insecure. Women pull this because they want to believe they are “special.” Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not. Not yet. But a guy will let you think you are if it means getting laid. So stop deluding yourselves. To a man that you haven’t met yet or been out with once or twice…you are not special. You are, well, a number. If he wants to see you or date you, he will make the time.
Here’s the deal. If you meet someone online and they ask you for your phone number – and they haven’t tried to set up a date - be warned. Here’s how the process normally goes between two socially well adjusted people who actually want to date:
- Exchange a few messages
- Set up a date
- Give phone number the day of the date in case there are changes
Fin. None of this cutesy text flirting for days on end. People will ask for your phone number before committing to a date so they can add your number to their address book and include you on their mass text blast or so they can keep you as a back up plan. When I hear women talk about men they haven’t even met who send them cute and flirty text messages, I just shake my head. Those guys are either a) trying too hard or b) investing effort in the hopes of getting laid with little effort.
Then, when they finally do meet, 9 times out of 10, the texting stops immediately after the first meeting. Which of course sends the woman spiraling down the rabbit hole trying to figure out “what went wrong.”
Nothing went wrong. This was always going to be the outcome of this scenario. He knew it. You didn’t. He decided to meet you out of boredom or to get you off the roster or in the hopes of an easy lay. But all those text messages and all that “attention” built the situation up in the woman’s mind, leading her to be crushed when there’s no second date any time in the near future.
Don’t give out your phone number until the date has been confirmed. The minute you open the door to text messaging prior to setting up a date, it’s a quick slide right down in to The Dead Zone. The Dead Zone is where you get relegated to one of three categories:
- The Booty Call
- The Friend
- The Source of Attention