I’ve gone on four dates with a very nice guy. We haven’t had sex yet, just making out and going on very date-like dates. Since I’m not in a relationship and I don’t have a “boyfriend,” is it okay to hookup with my f*** buddy in the meantime? I’m having a moral dilemma. – Nerve Confessions
When men and women do this, are they really seeking sex, or are they just afraid to lose their air bag or prove to themselves that they’re not totally into whomever they’re dating?
I mean, if it’s just about getting off, then we can do that to ourselves. So are situations like this really about sexual gratification? Or is it just our way to demonstrating (in our minds, at least) to the person we are dating and possibly falling for that we don’t need them?
Dating someone knew can be all kinds of scary for many people. There’s so much we don’t know and there is no guarantee. Are they dating someone else? Do they feel the same way? Is this person going to end up dumping me? Maybe that’s why we reach out to our f*** buddies in these situations? To regain some sense of control or prevent us from getting too invested?
How would you react if you found out, accidentally or intentionally, that the person you are dating had sex with an FWB while dating you and before they had sex with you?
End of the fifth date. Both of us in our mid-30s. Making out, clothes are coming off. We’re both naked to the waist and girl says to me, “I’m really attracted to you, you really turn me on, but I want to get to know you better before we have sex.” Guys, your reaction? – Nerve Confession
Again, if the woman really didn’t want to have sex with the guy, then why is she stripping off her clothes and fooling around with him? Forget the words being said and pay attention to the actions. This woman “wants to get to know him better” before having sex. But she’s being sexual with him. Am I the only one who has an “in for a dime, in for a dollar” mentality to getting physical? Whether it’s second base or a home run, isn’t it pretty much all the same?
To me, this feels like a test. It’s not that she doesn’t want to have sex. It’s that she wants to gauge how interested the guy is in her. If he takes her out again then he’s not just interested in sex.
The real question is…does this test actually work? Is it more successful than not? Bigger question…would a woman really respect a guy who allowed her to blue ball him like this?