How Do You Deal With A Bad Case Of Morning Breath?

May 30th, 2012

Awkward, Dating, Sex

Here’s a question for your column:

I’ve been dating a woman for about a month. She stays over and in the morning we usually have sex. Her morning breath is horrendous. The other day it got so bad I had to flip her over half-way through so I didn’t have to smell it. I know I have to say something, but how do you approach that sort of conversation? – My friend B.



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12 Responses to “How Do You Deal With A Bad Case Of Morning Breath?”

  1. dimplz Says:

    Don’t have sex in the morning? Wait until she’s brushed her teeth? Or tell her in a gentle way. My boyfriend’s breath smells sometimes (not morning breath) and I tell him, “Your breath smells funny,” or I will offer him an altoid and firmly suggest he take it. I don’t think she would be offended, no one can help morning breath (you probably have it too and she’s not saying anything), but she might be embarrassed. If she is, so be it. I’m sure she will appreciate your honesty.

  2. Selena Says:

    You don’t think YOU have morning breath also? As un-spontaneous as it is, simply suggesting you BOTH get up and brush your teeth before engaging solves the problem.

  3. LostSailor Says:

    Oral hygiene while in the midst of a romantic tryst is a bit difficult, since the logistics are a bit of a mood-killer. Yes, get up and brush before your morning glory.

    Better yet, make sure you brush, rinse, and use a tongue-scraper before you go to bed. Unsexy? Yup. Which is why it doesn’t happen much unless you’re in an LTR. And really don’t forget the tongue; a lot of the bacteria that causes morning breath is on the tongue, especially way in the back.

    I guess this gives new meaning to the idea of being orally skilled…

    • LostSailor Says:

      Oh, and I really have no idea how to approach that conversation. Depends on the relationship. Unless she’s extremely open and self-confident, she’s going to be insulted. Embarrassed and insulted. I’d definitely do this after the morning sex, not before, cuz if you do it before, there won’t be an after.

      Or you could try to lead by example, getting up to brush and hoping she takes the hint.

      I had to have this conversation when I was married. I’ll guarantee that she’ll be self-conscious about her breath from that point on, forever.

  4. Dark Sarcasm Says:

    Human Nature is hilarious. We have no problem telling a woman in bed, “Suck my c*ck” or “Grab my balls” or “Let me cum on your t*ts” but have to work up the nerve and think of a strategical way to say “Brush your teeth.” hilarious.

  5. Craig Says:

    I recommend the OP and his lady both use Crest Pro-Health oral rinse. It doesn’t burn like Listerine and it will last 12 hours. It works well. The wife and I both use it, and when we wake up in the morning our breath is still fresh as if we just brushed our teeth. The Mrs. had some pretty raunchy morning breath as well and I simply suggested we both use it together so we both have fresh breath. If you don’t make it just about her and acknowledge your own morning breath concerns as well, she won’t be offended.

    The other option is to just skip the morning sex and get off with morning blowjobs and then give her oral in return. Morning breath is thus not a concern and you get away without having to kiss because few expect a kiss after oral. If making out after oral is still expected, Take it a step further – certainly no one expects ass to mouth.

  6. offensivedan Says:

    Maybe go see a dentist. They can do wonders, from what hear, nowadays. Did you really need to write in for advice on this topic, OP? Really?

  7. Angeline Says:

    OP: Cover your mouth, and say, “Sorry. Morning breath. Be right back.” Brush teeth. Come back to bed, heave big sigh of relief, and if she doesn’t seem to be making the move, as you’re climbing back in, “All ceal. Whew, that was bad. Your turn!” If she gets huffy, gets wounded, blah blah blah … yeesh. That seems like it’s going to show up in other interactions as well.

  8. Kay Says:

    I’ve noticed that brushing before bed makes a HUGE difference.

  9. Kurt Says:

    You should just tell her that she has morning breath – it is a simple solution to your problem.

  10. Jada Says:

    Say, “Good morning! I want to fuck your brains out … Let’s go brush our teeth first.”

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