Honest to God…nobody gives a flying fuck that you’re single. Seriously. You are not some rare breed in the wild. When people ask you if you’re dating someone or if you’re married, they’re making conversation. That’s it. At best these people are guilty of being horrible conversationalists. Rarely is it ever about their fixation with being married or in a relationship. If anything, it’s about YOUR fixation with being married or in a relationship.
I’m in the midst of interacting with family members that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years. A few here and there ask me if I’m dating someone. I answer. That’s really as far as the conversation goes. I don’t get a ton of questions. Nor do I offer up many explanations. Family or not, I’m not discussing the details of my relationship. Why? Because I’m 43 years old. I’m past the point where I need their approval to date someone or not date someone. You know why? NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. They all have much bigger things going on in their individual lives than to get caught up in my dating travails.They’re being polite and trying to find a commonality to use to generate discussion and make things less awkward.
And really, if you don’t want people to identify or classify you as “single girl” then don’t write a goddamn blog that consists of little else other than your opinions of other people’s relationships and dating choices. Don’t make 50% of your status updates or tweets about your love life, and don’t allow the majority of your conversations with friends to revolve around your really not terribly atypical sex or love lives. What? That guy you met on OKCupid turned out not to want a relationship? He said he’d text and didn’t? Scandal! And PS? Those annoying messages you get from guys online that you post to your Tumblr or whatever? Not nearly as entertaining as you think. Hold on. Some guy called you sexy and used “u” for “you?” Good God, woman! Call HuffPo and alert them to this incredibly fascinating at not at all typical behavior. Really. Nobody cares that you’re 50 and single. Nobody cares that you chose not to marry or have kids. Nobody ponders or is in awe of the complexities involved with your choice to have casual sex. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. You know who does give a shit? You. That’s about it.
If your life is about more than your relationship status, then write a blog about all these other magnificent things that occur in this fascinating, well rounded life you apparently lead. Or blog about Lolcats.
I don’t know. Time for everybody to pull up their Big Girl Pants and stop thinking everything is about them. Life is about choices. If you own your choices and how they contributed to wherever you are in your life, then vapid conversations with strangers or relatives about whether or not you have a sweetheart won’t even register with you. Even if those people are baffled by the fact that you’re single, that’s about their own limited life experience and understanding of the world around them. It’s not about you. No matter how much you want it to be, it’s just not.
You are not special or unique because you’re single
You are not special or unique because you chose not to get married.
You are not special or unique because you got a poorly written message on OKCupid.
You are not special or unique because some dude from Plenty of Fish blew you off.
You are not special or unique because some guy hasn’t dumped you yet.
You are not special or unique because you omigod got to change your Facebook status to “In a Relationship.”
You are not special or unique for not understanding why some women engage in casual sex.
You are not special or unique because you got laid.
All women do by wailing or bragging about these sort of things is reveal that, by their late twenties or thirties or freakin’ forties, they have yet to develop appropriate expectations and dating/coping skills. In other words, you make it abundantly clear to people why you are single. So sorry to break that to you because I know it’s really, really important to you that everybody believe you’ve chosen this life and you have standards, blah blah. Yeesh. Enough. Time to rise to the challenge, kids.
Like I said. Ranty.