Apparently, this post got certain thin skinned and wildly dishonest and hypocritical dating bloggers in a huff. If I write about a post I read on a blog it’s not because I’m trying to “attack ” the blogger. It’s because, to be quite honest, I don’t agree with much of what these people say. I’ve left comments on your blogs. But because they weren’t words you wanted to hear, you wouldn’t approve them or deleted them.
Let me see if I’ve got this straight. If I say things privately, I’m wrong. If I say things on your blog that don’t align with your personal agenda, I’m wrong. And if I say things on my own blog, I’m wrong. So, really, I just can’t win. If you want to get on your soapbox about how we should all get along and support each other, why don’t you start with supporting those who refuse to ride your proverbial dicks by saying only what you want to hear. Furthermore, if you’re going to get all hand wringy and sanctimonious, howsabout you be honest about just why I feel no obligation to any of you? You won’t, though, because that would mean admitting to some fairly shady and juvenile behavior on your part. Yes, dear, that means you, too. It’s convenient of you to act all wide eyed and ask aloud why “certain people” aren’t more supportive of dating bloggers. You want to tell a story, tell the whole story, you phony. Don’t conveniently leave parts out just because you desperately need to cling to some moral high ground. I don’t care if it was two years ago or two days ago. You drew the line. From that point on, I owed you nothing. Why you seem so shocked that I might disagree with you after that point is puzzling to me.
Do you need me to explain to you how it all works? Allow me to break this down for you. People have opinions. Not all of those opinions are going to agree with yours. If you hate the idea of someone criticising you, then maybe don’t devote a large part of your blogging and tweeting time making fun of, berating and blaming every single guy who doesn’t do what you want them to do because you’re too god damn self-important and blind to your own issues.
It’s funny. Y’all are so comfortable trashing the people you date and putting down other women for their choices, but when anybody DARES to do the same to you, you curl up in the fetal position and run to twitter about your “haters.” No, that doesn’t mean you’re famous. Nor does it mean someone is “stalking your tweets” you self-important gasbag.
Someone disagreeing with you is not a hater. They’re someone with an view point other than yours. You people have bastardized that term as a way to bully people into never, ever, ever saying anything that doesn’t align with your personal narrative and to prevent anybody from speaking their mind. You want to out people and dump on them and share emails and texts and violate their privacy. All so you can have your personal insecurities validated. You’ve insulated yourself for so long that you can’t even distinguish between genuine feedback and constructive criticism and blatant cruelty. I don’t “hate” on anybody here. I certainly used to, was wrong a lot, and I regret most of it. I’m acutely aware of what I’m saying when I write posts based upon pieces dating bloggers write. And if I do say something pointed, I can assure you, there’s a reason why I feel free to do that. Trust me.
Boo hoo, you cry babies. Somebody accessed things you wrote on the Internet. Somebody followed a string in a tweet and came to your blog. Somebody didn’t jump to defend you! Bad blogger, bad! Blogger Smash! You make for excellent analysis and blog content. You people pick apart stuff you don’t agree with all the time. You write your slanted opinions and views in response to articles you read on the internet all. the. time. I am not obligated to agree with you. Nor am I in the wrong for sharing my opinions.
If a guy doesn’t meet your ridiculous expectations, you manage to word vomit hundreds of characters dissecting his every wrong move, attack his masculinity and make it about how he’s the problem. Sorry, but you ladies play a big role in the outcome. Yet nobody is allowed to even suggest that without you people flipping out.
There wasn’t any commenting war going on here. See, over here, people don’t take things at face value. We question things so we can learn. I realize that’s foreign to some of you since none of you appear to have the ability to see yourselves objectively. I’m not mean spirited or petty. I write objective reviews of certain situations. I edit or delete comments that I feel go too far. The goal isn’t to shame. Nor is it based on a grudge. The point is to try and pull people back from the dark side so they don’t end up like that particular blogger. It’s to help. Just because it doesn’t help you doesn’t mean it’s not helpful to others.
That Twitter Boycott you all participated in (as well as the fact that you gave people access to a password protected blog without permission. Access you got under shady circumstances, btw) isn’t the cause of my dislike of what you say. I thought most of you were delusional egomaniacs well before that. But when you rolled that out, you opened yourself up. You gave me license to speak my mind about you. I had never been anything but cordial to most of you, and if I disagreed with you, I said it to your faces. Unlike you idiots, who did it behind my back. But you’d have to have accountability to see that. If you did, my guess is some of you wouldn’t have the problems you do.
So you can all join hands and sing kumbaya about your fantastic little community. You can write your blog posts and wax poetic about each other. Then you can head back to your Twitter and blogs and dump on people and expose your exes and call people ugly and impotent, all while telling yourselves you’re so above “internet hate.” The proof is in the social media pudding as to whether or not your way works for you. Get over yourselves. Doesn’t make what you do and say any different or less critical.
It’s all very simple. If you don’t want people saying things that might hurt your delicate sensibilities, don’t be an asshole. Or be an asshole, just not on the internet. If you hate the idea of people judging you, then keep your life off the web and write it in a loose leaf notebook and hide it under your bed.