I once had a guy tell me that he continued to look at my profile because “I seemed really cool, but he wasn’t 100% on attraction. Though it’s hard to tell from just a few pictures on here.”
Translation: Plead your case. Tell me why we should meet. I took a look at his questions. He said that he usually needs to email with someone for a couple days before meeting.
I think that’s the main reason why people do this. They’re not quite sure what you look like, and they’re not willing to just meet you to find out. People want to know exactly what they’re getting. The last thing they want to do is spend a whole 60 minutes with someone they don’t find 100% attractive on paper. The worst thing in the world for them is to meet up with someone and not be attracted to them. Personally, I think people like this are on these sites because nobody is ever good enough. Expecting immediate and palpable attraction from a one dimensional profile is setting yourself up for failure. I’d say you should meet anybody that you find at least moderately attractive.
People want to see a full face shot and a full body shot. Without those two things, they aren’t meeting you. You need to have, at minimum, 3 photos where you look objectively attractive. You also have to look like the same person in each of your photos. (You can thank all the people who post really old photos for that.)You really shouldn’t have more than 4-6 photos on your profile. 5 is a good number. Why? Because the more pics you have, the more reason you are giving someone to not meet you. Nobody is that photogenic. All someone needs to see is that one shot where your face looks chubby because your head is tilted at a weird angle and you’re tossed into the reject bin.
If you have a lot of people who do view your profile multiple times and don’t email you, that should be a sign to you that you need better photos. Obviously something is attracting these folks. But there’s not enough of whatever it to get them to contact you. Get better photos.
I’m one of those people that is far more attractive in person than in photos. I’m not comfortable having my picture taken. I don’t know my angles, my hair looks crazy if shot from the wrong direction, etc. Looks-wise, I’m the same in person. It’s my personality that takes me from “moderately attractive” to “sexy.” (If a man is particularly submissive, then my demeanor absolutely puts me over the top.) While I hate the term sexy, sexy works. Sexy gets you the second date. My features are nice and proportioned. I look good for my age. My curly hair sets me apart somewhat. But only in person do men see the total package. And people need to see that total package. But they won’t see it if your photos aren’t flattering.
Now, for those of you often complain that you never get responses from the emails yous end, you’re being spared a lot of wasted time. A lot of the people rejecting you are people who reject everybody. Again, it’s not about how many responses or dates you get. It’s about the quality of those responses. You should be more concerned with your 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate than how many emails you send versus how many replies you receive.