Question: I have been flirting with this guy. Online and in person. But I recently told him I had a dirty dream about him and he didn’t respond asking me for details. I thought this was strange. Does this mean he isn’t in to me anymore?
It probably means he’s waiting for you to extrapolate on said sexy dream. You need to understand that many people know when they are being baited. You were baiting him, wanting him to show you that he was interested in hearing this sexy dream. The problem with that is that, even if he did show interest, that doesn’t mean he actually cares.
Someone said in the comments recently that guys might sext with a woman that he’s not attracted to just to jerk off. It doesn’t really mean anything. Neither does flirting. Flirting is easy to do, and often times it’s done with absolutely no intention other than to get attention.
You’re a woman of almost 30. Not a teenager. If you want this guy to know about all the fantasies swirling around in your head, you need to tell him. You also need to learn when you’re being used for an ego or penis stroke. If he didn’t respond or follow up with you, then it’s safe to say that you’re just someone he uses for an ego stroke. You gave him an opening to make plans to hook up. He didn’t take it. Move on. If he wanted you, or if you were anywhere near the top of his dating queue, he’d try to see you. But of course, he’d do that expecting to have sex with you. So if you don’t plan on putting out, it’s best that you let this sleeping dog lie. If you do hook up with him, you’ll wonder if he “only” wanted sex and things will eventually unravel.
This is the problem with using sex to get a guy’s attention. In most cases, we’re only using it because we feel we have to. Not because we want to. If that’s the case, then that should tell you how interested these men are.
We’ve talked about the articles from The Frisky where the author publicly discusses her kinkiness and love of spankings. I’m also sure you’ve read countless other articles and blogs from women braying about how sexual they are. Nine times out of ten, those women freeze up or implode when it comes time to have sex. They want the guy to be more gentlemanly or show them more favor before they ever gain access to their naughty bits. That’s because the person they project publicly or outwardly is not aligned with who they really are.
You can be as sexually assertive as you like. But if you can not handle the fact that that man will actually want to have sex with you, or will take that ball and run with it and speak to or treat you as a woman who likes sex, then you need to keep this stuff to yourself.