Maybe you haven’t figured out how the internet works. If someone puts a story out on the internet, they’re asking for feedback. Of course, they’re usually asking for feedback that validates whatever opinion they have at that moment. That’s why they’re so shell shocked when anybody disagrees with them. The above quote was written by a blogger who pretty much made a career out of shitting on everybody she dated until one guy came along and humiliated her. She thought it would be oh so charming to give out his real name on Twitter. Oh no. Wait. She just gave clues. Totally innocently, y’all! And she loves to tweet out the profiles of men that email her on OKCupid and trash them. Funny, right??? I’m not even sure what set her off. Apparently, though she hates what I say and thinks I should “die in a fire” (so clever!!) , she read yesterday’s post about SDD’s situation and suffered flashbacks to her own similar drama. Or she just hates the fact that I was 100% accurate in my advice to her and that the guy she was “dating” was just an attention whoring asshat getting off on watching her have a public meltdown.
I don’t expect the people who submit letters or whose blog posts I deconstruct/leave comments on to see the true intention of why I do this. The knee jerk reaction is to assume I’m just trying to be mean or that I’m jealous or bitter. People need to understand something. If you put something on your blog or in a letter or in a comment that, to objective observers, makes no sense then I’m not the one making you look bad. You choose to share these stories.
If I see something that I can deconstruct that will, like, help people, I will. It’s not about tearing someone down. That’s just self-important, melodramatic, self-victimizing crap. As I said in a tweet today, if I wrote what I wrote just to be mean I’d title every post, “How Stupid Are You?” Certain people find what I say “mean” because they’re used to being told exactly what they want to hear, they have a guilty conscience or because they’re clinging to a narrative in their head. Anything that veers from that is seen as hurtful or mean-spirited. But, what’s so funny is that those same people think it’s HILARIOUS to write scathing Yelp reviews about bars (and then tweet out said scathing review so everybody can tell them how bitchy/funny they are) and blog posts about guys that they date making fun of their speech impediments and anxiety disorders. (Stay classy, you loudmouth.) That’s not mean. That’s…I don’t know. Hypocritical? Juvenile? Help me out here, Henry. But turn that critical eye on them and they have a meltdown. You want to be a loudmouth? Fine by me. Just own it.
If I break a story down and say, “Here. Here’s something you should look for or watch out for” I don’t understand how that can be perceived as “mean.”Sure, maybe to those people who are stuck in that place won’t see it. Hopefully they will eventually. But my guess is many of them won’t. Those people are lost causes. I’m not writing for them. I’m writing for the people who actually want to enjoy and be successful at dating. Those people? They take away something from posts. The others? They sit on twitter and gripe about their dates or how mean I am or whatever. I have no content or service or product. I’m just mean to be mean because, like, I’m old and bitter.
I could write posts about fun date spots or bad dates or how to tell if he’s digging you. That sounds fun, right? Then everybody would Retweet it and be all, “Girl….you KNOW you’re guilty of #5.” Do people learn anything from pieces like that? I don’t think so. But man, I bet that would get page views and guffaws and “You go girls!”
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t do this to be popular. Look, I can be snarky and twatty at times. I don’t deny that. But how about some of you admit the same and stop acting so above it?