Just wanted to pop in and put up a Holiday Themed Open Thread.
So, how’s everybody spending the holidays? Alone? With someone? On vacation?
Obviously, this is the first Christmas without my Dad. It will be sad, I’m sure. I think I’ve felt his loss now more than ever. I’m sticking around the city this year. Just didn’t feel like making the trip home. I’ve been busying myself with re-decorating for the past couple months. Wall to wall carpeting installed, new furniture. Now I’m just settling on a couch and what art work I’d like hung. When I first moved to NYC, I found a great framed poster of Times Square in the basement of my building. I can’t part with it as it reminds me of being 22, fearless and new to Manhattan. I just had it re-framed and will be hanging it along with a couple other pieces this week.
My workouts were derailed a couple of weeks ago while running on the track near my apartment. I slipped and my leg twisted under me and I fell right on the inside of my left knee. The first couple days after were scary because I wasn’t sure if I had done serious damage to my ACL. Turns out it was just a minor sprain. The doctor told me to stay off it, blah blah, and watch for signs that I wasn’t get my range of motion back. The last thing I needed was to end this year on crutches. My birthday is New Year’s Eve and I didn’t want to be hobbling around for that, either. I ended up buying a used treadmill and have been doing some light walking for the past couple weeks just to keep the knee from freezing up too much.
Business-wise, this is our busiest time of year. Everybody either wants someone for the holidays or has a resolution to date more in 2013. I’ve booked about 20 profile review sessions for this week and next. People seem to have a thing about being alone at the holidays. How do you guys feel about spending a holiday solo, as in single?
Speaking of online dating, how’s everybody faring with it? Any luck? Disasters? Is it me or are there an alarming number of profiles on OKC now that basically read like, “Eff you. I’m an asshole. Take me or leave me?” More and more I’m reading bits from men about how frustrated they are with the online dating scene. Or I’m coming across profiles of men who almost dare women to try and change them. Which, as we all know, works. Guys can be total assholes in their profiles and still get laid. Women see them as a project or are impressed with the guy’s “refreshing honesty.” Total pantie dropper.
So…how about you? What’s going on in your lives?
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Thanks so much for your continued feedback and support. Hope you all have safe and wonderful holiday season.
I’ve never been particularly bothered by spending Christmas single. That’s mostly because I spend the time with my family, and I actually like my family (for which I count myself incredibly lucky). I used to get hung up on being single for New Years, though, particularly if I didn’t have some “awesome” party to go to. That changed a few years ago when I started flying out to spend New Years with two of my best friends and their kids. Sometimes I get a little wistful, but then I’m too busy having fun to really give it a lot of thought.
I haven’t been doing any online dating for months now, but I might browse the sites after New Years to see the inevitable crop of new blood that shows up shortly thereafter. I’d still prefer to meet someone in “the real world,” but I figure it can’t hurt to look. Maybe something will catch my eye.
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The first holiday without a loved one is always the toughest. I wish you all the best, Moxie.
I’m spending Christmas with my family – we do the traditional Feast of the Seven Fishes tonight. In some ways I enjoy Christmas Eve more than the day itself.
NYE will be dinner with a few close friends. Between the people who MUST have fun and the people who proc aim that “next year will be different” like they do every year, it’s never been a big deal to me if I was single or not, But every New Year’s Day I write a note to my future self. and read the previous year’s. It’s nice to see how far I’ve come.
I do feel like I am in a good place to start dating some more. And yes, I’m going to treat myself to a profile review. I think mine needs more life.
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“Or I’m coming across profiles of men who almost dare women to try and change them. Which, as we all know, works. Guys can be total assholes in their profiles and still get laid. Women see them as a project or are impressed with the guy’s “refreshing honesty.” Total pantie dropper.”
If this is not a sarcastic comment, I’d love to see an example of these ‘angry pantie dropping’ profiles.
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DS: There is a blog called “Nice guys” of OKCupid.
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I know you met a lot of steep challenges this year Moxie, and you came out strongly.
Like you, this is the first Christmas without my parents and I find it incredibly tough. But, like you, I’ve tried to keep especially busy. I was offered an onsite (skeleton crew) consulting assignment for December 21-January 3, and I took it for those reasons: make money, keep busy, keep my mind off my lost parents.
As to online dating, I think it’s just today’s reality. You save a lot of time, as opposed to going to various meetups, clubs, etc. There may be a lot of crazy or angry people on these sites but that’s just unavoidable—and perhaps not all that different from people you meet in real life. The most helpful thing about this site is the tips on navigating the sea of people online, so that less time is wasted.
Merry Christmas, Moxie (plus commenters and lurkers)!
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My nephew got engaged to him long time girlfriend last night. They’ve been together about 7 years. He’s 30. I’m really happy about it, because he took his time and waited and really made sure the relationship was solid before taking such a big step. His fiancee is a doll, and obviously cares a lot about my nephew. She’s very good to him. She’s also a big help to my sister, who’s dealing with cancer.
My other niece got engaged in November. She’s 22, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned re: her age. But her fiancee is her age, they’ve been together a couple of years, they met in college, they both work full time and have jobs in their respective careers. Plus they both come from families where the parents are still together. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and a solid foundation about marriage and commitment, so that makes a big difference. She’s incredibly grounded and responsible in every way.
My niece had her baby last week, a girl. I feel bad because she’s going to end up having to share her b-day with Christmas and get ripped off
But she’s really long and alert and healthy and beautiful.
I’m glad we’re going to be ending the year with three happy events. My Dad would be really happy about all of this.
Last night I ordered sauteed calamari, which my Dad used to make every year as part of the old school Italian Seven Fishes Christmas tradition. Sadz alert! – I put his picture on the table next to me while I ate it. It was *almost* as good as his.
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I’m wondering what jerks gave two thumbs down to the above post.
Merry Christmas Everyone
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I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas! I am fortunate to come from a big family with lots of little nieces and nephews, and three siblings who are all local. The day is really about the kids now; watching them tear through presents, stuff their lil faces with tasty food, and wear sugar grins from ear to ear. I am truly sorry to hear of the loss of your father, and commend you on handling it so well.
I will be 30 in February, and in the last few years have come to realize just how blessed I am to have amazing parents. They put so much work into the holiday, and as a single woman, this year I found great peace in helping them more than I ever have before. Who would have thought that washing all of the Christmas dishes (from 20 people) would be so cathartic? There was also the realization that I’d rather be single on Christmas- any holiday for that matter- than bring the wrong man to my parents’ house (like I did last year).
I gave myself two presents for Christmas this year; neither of them cost a penny. The first, I quit online dating. I have been online dating on and off for almost two years, and I truly hate it. Went on dates, had 2 short “relationshits,” but the last 6 months have been dormant. I love meeting new people, and I genuinely want love to happen for me “in real life.” I read your blog posts often and realized after reading one of them recently that mentally, there’s a roadblock for me with OLD. While I get a lot of messages, I never reply. It’s not that I’m closed off to love, I actually feel more open to it than I ever have in my life, it’s that I’m closed off to the OLD process. (As a dating coach, you’ll probably tell me that this is ridiculous). OLD has helped to develop my confidence, and I want to try being more of a flirt in everyday life. (I’ve never been great at this, but I think that’s a self-fulfilling prophecy). So, I am making it my mission- and it’s already built into my business / personal life for 2013- to just get out more, flirt with men, make mistakes- forgive myself for them-, be open, and see how I progress. The second present, was writing a letter to myself one year in the future. I did this on Christmas Eve, to be opened on Christmas Eve 2013. I believe in the Law of Attraction, so I wrote to myself my hopes, dreams, fears, and goals for the coming year. I also wrote down what I am looking for in a man (no, not 6’0″, blue eyes, good job, but the personal traits that I desire). I hope this will help to shape which men I accept in my life (to reference Evan Marc Katz). I look forward to opening it, and seeing how I progressed personally, professionally, in relationships, health, finance, spirituality, etc. I hope that I’ve accomplished what my mind today thinks that I’m capable of, and at the very least, I’ve grown closer to who I want to be.
Thanks for your great writing, and insight. I value your guidance greatly. Best wishes to you, and Happy (soon to be) Birthday!
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