Most people don’t like my answer and it is bitter reality pill to swallow. Go look at Men’s magazines and tell me they prefer women is big women.
Things I was referring to my friends doing wrong; sleeping with men on first date, getting drunk on first date or initial meeting, saying they have a bf (to the guy!) but still making out/dating other men, being insecure, not having good fashion sense, unambitious. But the point is, the MEN continue to talk to them and hold most of the conversation. Why? Because they are interested in them and these flaws/faults mean nothing because sexual attraction trumps everything for a man. I have been the fat friend in more situations than I can count. Guys have come up to me, talked to me for 15 mins only to then ask me to introduce them to friend. And before you say “WELL JENN YOU MUST BE UGLY HAVE A BAD PERSONALITY” blah blah blah. I have a lot of features people spend money at the plastic surgeons office to acquire. But I am a size 14/16, have read many books on flirting, great fitting clothes, very feminine, and you know what? None of that matters to men. I don’t make the cut. At least I realize the truth and doing something about it instead of complaining or blaming men, lost 80 lbs and still losing. I will know when I lost enough because men will talk to me and not my friends for once.
The reason why men continue to talk to them and date them is because men don’t care about those things PERIOD. Guys like girls who “get drunk” on dates because it shows she doesn’t have a stick up her ass. Guys like women who have sex on the first date because guys like sex. Fashion sense? No straight guy gives a shit. Unambitious? GUYS DON’T CARE unless the woman is leeching off of him. The reason why none of those things don’t work for you isn’t because you’re overweight. It’s because you probably come off unpleasant and difficult. And yes, you are jealous of these women because they can get away with these things and you can’t. My guess is these women just don’t measure up to your distorted standards. Really? Judging their fashion sense? Yeah, you’re not a catty bitch. PS? guys HATE that. Women like you like to use your weight as an excuse for why you can’t find a man. That way you can blame it on the shallowness of men and not take any responsibility for being unpleasant or uptight.- MOXIE
Wrong.I am not catty at all actually, have been the nice girl for way too long sitting on the sidelines watching others live and smiling waiting for “someone to talk to me” . But now I just accept the truth. And men like women who sleep on the first date? Really? As in relationship material? Your delusional. I haven’t tried these methods that my friends do because I am not that kind of girl, but I have TRIED and failed. Also most girls who get approached don’t need to try, they just stand there and men strike up the conversation. I volunteer, take care of a physically challenged aunt, work in a social service career. Degrees, none of that matters. I don’t care how you slice up my argument, looks will get you in the door and keep you there until you royally f*up. My issue is not jealousy it is that I don’t get a chance in the FIRST place. I am constantly overlooked. Men don’t really try hard with me, they ask for sex pretty early on, which contradicts your point that I must be stuck up, because that is not how men act around Paris Hilton types.- GI JANE
GI Jane speaks a truth that is too hard for some women to bear. The kindest, sweetest, most positive and sensual woman in the world will be overlooked if she is visually unappealing to men. Suggesting that her personality is unpleasant or uptight shows a fundamental lack of understanding about men and dating, and does GI Jane more harm than good.- Yolanda
I don’t disagree that looks matter. But if you’re reasonably or even marginally attractive, and you’re not completely insufferable, you can find a man. Maybe not the Don Draper/Rico Suave types many women pine for since they have women throwing themselves at them left and right. But you can find someone. I simply do not buy that a woman is automatically discounted if she isn’t “hot.” Sorry, but personality and demeanor absolutely factor into attraction. If you’re not terribly warm, inviting or interesting, then most men aren’t going to stick around to get to know you. Unless you’re completely unfortunate looking, if you’re nice and engaging and fun to be around and objectively attractive, you can find someone. You might not get the men that the “hotties” get, but boo hoo. 80% of us don’t get those men. If you’re whining about not getting those guys, then the problem is that you are attracted to shallow assholes or men way out of your league and ignore the men that you can more easily attract because you want The Big Fish. Trust me. Get over your need to reel that guy in and you’ll be a lot happier.
As for all the things Jane says her hot friends did “wrong” on their dates, I call jelly. Men don’t judge a woman for getting drunk on dates unless she starts throwing punches. They couldn’t give a rat’s ass about their fashion sense either. Nor do they care if the woman isn’t ambitious. In fact, that actually works for women unless the woman is looking for a meal ticket. Insecurity is fine until it spills over into neurotic self-absorption territory. And yes, secure and confident men don’t care if she sleeps with them on the first date because liking sex is a good thing. These women didn’t get away with these things because they were hot unless the only thing these men cared about were looks. Women can get away with that behavior because the men actually enjoyed spending time with them. They weren’t caught up in one upping the guy or trying to impress him with their pseudo-intellect. They weren’t trying to act like men. Try it sometime. It’s fun.
Just by saying she’s “not that kind of girl” a woman tips her hand as to how judgmental and uptight she is. That’s a dead give away. I’ve worked literally hundreds of singles event in my career and I know your type. You show up and stand at the bar or pull yourself off to the side and expect men to approach you. You stand there with your chip on your shoulder and look around and cast aspersions on everybody else. Then you can’t fathom why nobody talks to you. Here’s why: because people can smell your insecurity and resentment at fifty yards. Nobody wants to approach someone who gives off a vibe like that.
Instead of bitching about all your female friends, why don’t you spend more time being enjoyable? I’m telling you right now that I have seen women bigger than you work a room and seduce men. So stop blaming your size or your looks or men and start trying to improve your attitude.