1. Stop asking “Why?”- To quote your parents, “Because. That’s why.” You’re never going to fully understand why someone wasn’t interested or why something didn’t work. It just didn’t. Don’t waste time trying to figure things out. That is, unless that one thing is a pattern. Then you should do some personal inventory and ask yourself (and friends you trust) some tough questions.
2. Give people a chance- Okay, so he wrote you and just said, “Hey’”or “How are you?” Some people aren’t very good with small talk. If their profile works for you, don’t let a wink, a flirt or a brief message with no personalization prevent you from replying.
3. Stop asking so many questions - Either take the leap or stay home.You’re never going to have a complete picture. Go big or go home.
4. Ladies, plan the first date once in a while - Stop leaving it up to the guy. It seems like 80% of the time, women get pissed for one reason or another about where the guy chooses to meet. If it’s so controversial take the bull by the horns and do it yourself.
5. Make up your own mind - Stop living by other people’s rules. They aren’t you. What works for them isn’t always what is best for you.
6. Stop caring what people think - I’m telling you, most of the judgments you hear and read come from people who absolutely suck at dating.They want you to fail.
7. Learn to enjoy the beauty of a dive bar - You haven’t really dated until you’ve had a night of beers, bad bar food and cheesy jukebox music. Every date doesn’t have to look like a scene from Sex and the City. Withhold judgment until you actually have the date.
8. Ladies, stop being afraid of being sexual/”slutty” – For the love of God, stop listening to your friends. I’m telling you that their heads have been in way more laps than they care to reveal.Fun fact: you’re friends won’t have anything to judge if you lie or keep details to yourself.
9. Guys, get rid of that stupid “I’ll only spend $20 on a first date” rule – Dating costs money. Get over it. Be more discerning when inviting women out if you find you’re spending too much money.Yes, you’re being cheap.
10. Don’t say “Yes” to a date unless you’re really interested – Be considerate of the schedule and time of other people. Setting vague plans and not following up is rude.Read a person’s complete profile before engaging them.
11. Don’t fear rejection or failure – You need the bad experiences to help you enjoy and identify the good ones. Unless you want to keep re-living the same date over and over, you have to see things through. Ladies, send that “thank you” email the next morning and suggest another date. Don’t wait for him to do it. Guys, if you like her then ask her out at the end of the first date.
12. Update profile photos regularly - No more posting pics from 2009! Make it a point to have friends take pictures whenever you’re out. You should be updating those photos every 3-6 months.
13. Have sex on the first date - Do it. Yes, relationships do come from it. You don’t have to do it all the time, of course. But don’t not have sex thinking you have cleared some imaginary hurdle. You haven’t.
14. Stop placing importance on empty gestures - It means nothing until it means everything. Remember that. Just because he paid the check doesn’t mean he’s sincere. Just because she accepted an invitation to dinner doesn’t mean she’s interested.We do things because it’s expected or as a means to an end.
15. Stop looking for signs - You know how you know a relationship (of whatever type) is working? You’re not watching or looking for signs. You’re too busy enjoying the moment and the experience.
16. Stop demanding honesty - Until someone is truly invested, they’re not going to risk conflict by offering total disclosure. Allow people to bow out of things in their own way. Yes, that sometimes means fading. Chasing them down and demanding an answer isn’t worth your dignity or self-esteem.
17. Stop dating assholes - This one is self-explanatory. The better choices you make, the better your experience. The people who complain and gripe all the time are doing that because the repeatedly date people that don’t treat them well. That’s because they focus on shallow criteria and don’t pay attention to the red flags..
18. Lower your expectations - Dating has become such a commodity these days that it’s counter-productive to need to feel special and unique on every first date.
19. Reply to messages quicker - No more trying to play it cool, folks! The process has now become so intensified that someone can email you on Monday and be smitten by Tuesday.
20. Stop being afraid of being alone - Listen. You’ve made it this far on your own. Maybe the love of your life is the love of *your life.* Appreciate and take advantage of the benefits of being single.
21. Date multiple people at once – Try it before you pass judgment. See how it fits.If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. But don’t turn your nose up at the idea until you’ve actually given it a chance.
2. Don’t make every first date an interview - Knock back a couple drinks and enjoy yourself. Stop being so worried that you might make some critical error that will turn someone off. If they’re interested, they’ll be interested the next morning unless you do something horribly offensive. Have fun! Get a buzz, flirt a little, tell a dirty joke.
Have any of your own?