Know those guys that are too nice&always lose? You think they’re good at going down? And if so, if you’re the best he’ll ever eat, let him? – Heather
Well, first let’s discuss how you determine that you’ll be the “best” he ever ate? I mean…it’s a vagina. Does yours produce something magical? Is your vagina built differently that makes oral sex a mind blowing experience for a guy? I mean, it’s not like we actually do anything while the guy is down there. That’s all him whether or not we get any satisfaction out of it.Well, as long as we’re in the right mind set. You have to clear your mind and be willing to just be in the moment. You can’t be worried about smell or taste or picking up your dry cleaning.
I tend to avoid guys who sell themselves as world class lovers. Oh, you have a penis and you know where it goes? How exciting for you that you made it through 5th grade Sex Ed!
In any case, if you’re not feeling a guy because he’s “too nice” (read: weak) then I don’t think it’s right to let him go through all that effort it takes to get you off. Even if he begs. Which gives me a giant Sad in my naughty place. There really is nothing worse than a guy who thinks the way to a woman’s heart is through her clitoris. That right there is why he’s considered “too nice.” He’s trying too hard to seem appealing. If he genuinely were attractive to women, he wouldn’t have to do any of that stuff.
Do I think these men give great head? I’m going to say no. Great head, for both men and women, is all about confidence and desire. If these guys had that kind of fire burning inside them, they wouldn’t be deemed nice guys. Ladies, great head is about wanting to be down there doing it. It’s about a guy not having to beg for it or feel guilty for asking for it. Technique is secondary. What constitutes great head, to a man, is oral from a woman who enjoys it. Bam! There’s your answer. How do you get to enjoy it? You stop being afraid to fail at doing it and stop worrying if you measure up to previous lovers. Practice makes perfect, poppets.
“But..that would make me a slut!”
Not if you don’t tell everybody within earshot. The only people who throw around the “slut” word as a pejorative term are people who feel threatened by a woman or man’s sexuality. These people fear they won’t satisfy their partners like other lovers may have in the past. Or they’re worried that, if they don’t get up to speed sexually, they will lose out on finding a partner. Hint: You will unless you date someone who doesn’t like sex.
For women, great head is different. Getting us off takes a bit more knowledge and effort. A woman should either be willing to communicate what works for her or she should just shut her legs and send the guy packing. I find women who like to yammer on Twitter about how woefully unskilled men are at oral to be tiresome. We get it. You’re sooooooooo experienced and sexual and hot and naughty. Shut up already. The underlying message to critical commentary, one to which most women are oblivious, is that they are having sex with a guy who either a) isn’t sexually experienced or b) doesn’t care enough about her to get her off. Um..congrats?
Getting laid isn’t an accomplishment. Anybody can do it. If you have to bray publicly about your sexual exploits it is only to prove to people that you can actually get laid because you know there’s something about you that makes people assume you can’t. More Sads. Hint: You never see objectively attractive women do this. Same goes for men. Reading tweets and profiles from men going on about their prowess gives me Yawns. I immediately assume that they, like their female counterparts, have something working against them that makes unattractive to the opposite sex.
Let’s get to the heart of this particular matter, shall we? This wasn’t a real question. I mean, you framed and phrased it as one, but it’s not. It’s a #humblebrag and a way to get attention and let people know that you have options. You tweeted this, for Christ’s sake. Then you asked me to answer it. Are you really stumped by this so-called quandry?
If you feel comfortable enough tweeting it, then you should feel comfortable enough doing it. Crowd sourcing this answer doesn’t reflect well on you. Also keep in mind that sometime down the road a prospective partner might see that and make a judgment call. If you’re someone who does this sort of thing on a regular basis and you also find that men you meet disappear after one date or before ever meeting, I can assure you this plays into that outcome.