Know those guys that are too nice&always lose? You think they’re good at going down? And if so, if you’re the best he’ll ever eat, let him? – Heather
Well, first let’s discuss how you determine that you’ll be the “best” he ever ate? I mean…it’s a vagina. Does yours produce something magical? Is your vagina built differently that makes oral sex a mind blowing experience for a guy? I mean, it’s not like we actually do anything while the guy is down there. That’s all him whether or not we get any satisfaction out of it.Well, as long as we’re in the right mind set. You have to clear your mind and be willing to just be in the moment. You can’t be worried about smell or taste or picking up your dry cleaning.
I tend to avoid guys who sell themselves as world class lovers. Oh, you have a penis and you know where it goes? How exciting for you that you made it through 5th grade Sex Ed!
In any case, if you’re not feeling a guy because he’s “too nice” (read: weak) then I don’t think it’s right to let him go through all that effort it takes to get you off. Even if he begs. Which gives me a giant Sad in my naughty place. There really is nothing worse than a guy who thinks the way to a woman’s heart is through her clitoris. That right there is why he’s considered “too nice.” He’s trying too hard to seem appealing. If he genuinely were attractive to women, he wouldn’t have to do any of that stuff.
Do I think these men give great head? I’m going to say no. Great head, for both men and women, is all about confidence and desire. If these guys had that kind of fire burning inside them, they wouldn’t be deemed nice guys. Ladies, great head is about wanting to be down there doing it. It’s about a guy not having to beg for it or feel guilty for asking for it. Technique is secondary. What constitutes great head, to a man, is oral from a woman who enjoys it. Bam! There’s your answer. How do you get to enjoy it? You stop being afraid to fail at doing it and stop worrying if you measure up to previous lovers. Practice makes perfect, poppets.
“But..that would make me a slut!”
Not if you don’t tell everybody within earshot. The only people who throw around the “slut” word as a pejorative term are people who feel threatened by a woman or man’s sexuality. These people fear they won’t satisfy their partners like other lovers may have in the past. Or they’re worried that, if they don’t get up to speed sexually, they will lose out on finding a partner. Hint: You will unless you date someone who doesn’t like sex.
For women, great head is different. Getting us off takes a bit more knowledge and effort. A woman should either be willing to communicate what works for her or she should just shut her legs and send the guy packing. I find women who like to yammer on Twitter about how woefully unskilled men are at oral to be tiresome. We get it. You’re sooooooooo experienced and sexual and hot and naughty. Shut up already. The underlying message to critical commentary, one to which most women are oblivious, is that they are having sex with a guy who either a) isn’t sexually experienced or b) doesn’t care enough about her to get her off. Um..congrats?
Getting laid isn’t an accomplishment. Anybody can do it. If you have to bray publicly about your sexual exploits it is only to prove to people that you can actually get laid because you know there’s something about you that makes people assume you can’t. More Sads. Hint: You never see objectively attractive women do this. Same goes for men. Reading tweets and profiles from men going on about their prowess gives me Yawns. I immediately assume that they, like their female counterparts, have something working against them that makes unattractive to the opposite sex.
Let’s get to the heart of this particular matter, shall we? This wasn’t a real question. I mean, you framed and phrased it as one, but it’s not. It’s a #humblebrag and a way to get attention and let people know that you have options. You tweeted this, for Christ’s sake. Then you asked me to answer it. Are you really stumped by this so-called quandry?
If you feel comfortable enough tweeting it, then you should feel comfortable enough doing it. Crowd sourcing this answer doesn’t reflect well on you. Also keep in mind that sometime down the road a prospective partner might see that and make a judgment call. If you’re someone who does this sort of thing on a regular basis and you also find that men you meet disappear after one date or before ever meeting, I can assure you this plays into that outcome.
If I’m reading this correctly, there’s this guy that the OP has deemed not worthy of getting involved with, because he is a ‘nice guy’. But he is begging to get go down on her.
So, the guy is so nice he’s such a loser, you won’t date him, but since he’s begging to go down on you, you’re considering it?
Says a lot about where you are in the dating sphere.
You want to get off, but since he’s a ‘nice guy’ he’s undesirable to you. Or maybe because he’s so nice, you won’t date him because you’re concerned about how it’ll look to your friends?
You don’t know any ‘bad boys’ that know how to go down?
Just get off, already.
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I tend to avoid guys who sell themselves as world class lovers.
Heh, if it comes up in convo I say the exact opposite. “I’m terrible in bed. I get confused about what goes where, who’s on top, where the TV remote is…”
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Do nice guys give good head? Only if they’re gay.
This business of women trying to own every male-oriented metaphor is getting “lady-boner” silly.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Single mother/older woman BUT STILL SEXUAL?
Whatever. Just a wild guess.
If he wants to and you aren’t lying about anything, where is the problem?
If you are lying, that is a problem. This is pretty uncontroversial.
Anyhow, moving on.
Being good at sex is an odd thing to brag about. The mechanics can be learned very easily and from then on its a matter of what a couple does assuming you haven’t got any terrible hangups and are generally willing. Its both your fault if it doesn’t work out after that point. I’m aware some people will judge me for saying that which is probably why nobody says it but I think its the case anyway.
And girls, what your lover will never tell you because there isn’t a good way of saying it but all men know (or you could read Naomi Woolf’s ‘Vagina’ if you have to have this info from another woman or you could ask a lesbian I suppose) is you’re all different down there. So really its quite hard to be reliably and magically great at it when you’re working with different machinery each time. What one woman will demand another will find so uncomfortable you’ll get semi-accidentally punched in the face for. I suppose there is something in being experienced enough to know that but not much more. If you’re not comfortable with recognising things like that and therefore communicating a bit and helping out, you shouldn’t be critiquing in the first place.
Any of these Twitter critics up for a grizzly discussion of say, this paper and its personal implications?
http://www.uam.es/personal_pdi/psicologia/fpelaez/Ev_Int_P_sexuales/Documentos/Wallen&Lloyd_08.pdf
And that is at the mild and relatively unembarrassing end of the things we could talk about here. No, didn’t think so either.
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Dear Heather: kill yourself. “The best he’ll ever eat…” STFU. So many women think that there’s something super special about their pussies. Your pussy ain’t special.
As an aside, I’ve never heard going down on woman referred to as giving head. It’s weird. I don’t think I like it
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Yeah, the general term I’ve always heard is “eating out” or “going down”.
Still women have some odd notions about oral. Men do too, I suppose. Once, I went down on the girl I was seeing for somewhere in the ballpark of 30-45 minutes, bringing her to orgasm twice. Then she said, “My turn”, and did me for 5 minutes until I concluded. Then she’s looking all proud with this “We’re even” smile. While it was nice, it’s not really equivalent. Having said that, Chuck Palahniuk wrote in his novel “Rant” that men, when giving oral, immediately start running the time clock and keeping score, which is true to an extent.
Now, the OP seems like she likes this nice guy, but she’s not sure if she wants to sleep with him, so maybe this is a test combined with a favor in her eyes.
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I only take issue with these statements:
“Getting laid isn’t an accomplishment. Anybody can do it.”
Understandably Moxie has a woman’s point of view. For a man it is an accomplishment and generally it takes a lot of work. Only if you are in the top 10% of men do those statements apply.
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There is a difference between a “nice guy” and a sniveling whimp. Yes, while the bad boy might be the one to go out and get what he wants, at the end of the day it is what HE WANTS. Sure, maybe some nice guys are too timid to go for it, but I’m guessing those who aren’t are more likely to work for a woman’s enjoyment. Why? Because they’re more apt to care.
Now I can’t really say whether I’m better than the next guy at going down, but what I do know is that what works for one woman doesn’t always work for another. Seems to me that to have good success one needs to be attentive to the particular partner. That doesn’t sound to me like the bad boy character.
I certainly get it that a partner’s desire is a turn on, but I don’t see that as being a trait more linked to either the nice guy or bad boy characters.
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SeparatedGuy, I thought the same thing. I don’t usually go for the bad boy because at the end of the day it’s all about him.
My (limited) experience has proven to me that Nice Guys do care about my enjoyment and that makes them even hotter in my eyes.
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And if so, if you’re the best he’ll ever eat, let him?
The “best he’ll ever eat”? Not very likely. Bring beer and pizza just in case…
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Hahahaha
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