How Does She Date a Guy With a “Crazy” Ex?

Name: MaryHere's Looking At You

Comment: I have been with a “separated” man for 3 years now. He has 2 girls, who are now 18 and 22. He has been paying a huge amount of support, and some of their bills that he says the court ordered him to. The “wife” lives beyond her income, and he continues to give the small amount left in his paycheck for all the extra things like car repairs, prom dresses, year books, etc. He actually took out another loan to finance the car repairs, and another charge card to pay for a huge vet bill! His “wife” actually makes more a year than him!
 I let him live with me for a year early in our relationship, but broke off the relationship and insisted that I didn’t want to continue to be a secret from his girls any longer. He told his girls about me, and made promises that he eventually broke. I have not let him move back into my house, but I continue to pay for him when we go out, and help him out financially with things like motorcycle batteries, etc… I keep track of what I spend, and insist that he pay me back after years of not doing that.
 He filed for divorce through a cheap internet site, and all she had to do is sign the papers. That was 2 years ago, and she talked him into pulling out the divorce so that SHE could file herself due to the divorce not being GOOD ENOUGH from the internet. HE DID! And she hasn’t filed the papers yet, a year later!
 I could go on and on, but in 2 weeks he no longer has to pay support, and I’m waiting to see if he follows through on his promises to me.
 I am a widow of 4 years, and very independant, but regret being so naive to what I was getting myself into. My family has all welcomed him into our family after me “sticking up” for him, but I am NOT allowed to attend his daughters graduation ceremony, because it would UPSET his “wife”.
His girls do get along with me after a few years of grief, and they joined my surprise birthday party I had for their dad. But his “wife” hates me, and calls me names, which I do not understand since I met him AFTER he left her?
 What should I do?
Age: 51
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA

 

Thoughts?

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44 Responses to “How Does She Date a Guy With a “Crazy” Ex?”

  1. Greg Figueroa Says:

    Like she says she can go on and on with the guy and waste her time. But I come to a new a conclusion, I truly believe that people who complain about the other person, but still stick it out, deep down inside like it.

    Why write this letter now if two weeks later he’s going to stop paying child Support? I think deep down inside the OP knows that he will break his promises like he’s done before.

    On a side note: People have to stop telling each other highly inflammatory stuff. I’m assuming the BF told the OP about the names and hatred his EX has for her and for me what’s the point.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 0

    • noquay Says:

      You are sooo right. If he really wanted out, he’d have resolved the situation long ago. With a separated man, you give him a timeline, say 3 months, if he’s still not divorced, bail.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 1

      • Eliza Says:

        No–with a “separated” man – you don’t give him the time of day–he is married. not divorced. Unless you are fine dating a “married” man–then by all means, proceed. So much precious time wasted – on a man that is manipulative as his so-called “ex-wife”. People get absolutely what they look for.
        Want drama? Then go out with men who are married. That simple. Why pay for anything for him?
        Secondly–she is not going to grant him a divorce…because financially–she gains from the current situation.

        I actually did date a man that was “divorced” – 3 years–yet still paid for his ex-wife – why? Because he claimed she was not capable to carry certain expenses–and he didn’t want his 2 kids to suffer due to her incapabilities, yadda yadda yadda…whatever. The truth is–some women will play the victim, and naive little girls – just to get a free ride. So, she doesn’t work – and he continued to pay for this and that…things outside of the divorce that she should be able to do on her own. And guess what–because of that – this man who is now 50 – divorced at 46 or so – claims he had to move back with his mother (at 50 yrs old!) – so sad – too much overhead. That’s either true–or he is a momma’s boy, and doesn’t want to fend for himself. Either way–it’s a lost cause…and I didn’t vest much time in that scenario.

        Learn how to decipher a dead end street and move on. Value yourself and don’t get involved with lost causes (i.e., married or “separated” men).

        Just recently–I was approached online on OKC from a “separated” man – same BS story–for the “sake of the kiddies” – who are not little – teenagers, he 1) not divorced yet…but working on it and 2) living in a separate room – in the SAME house–but of course, not involved with her.
        Who cares. If he truly wanted to move on–he would rent a room in a different home altogether.

        Too many complications. I didn’t bother to waste my time with that nonsense. Some men are “working on getting divorced for decades”. But they can’t–because they don’t want to let go.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 1

    • fuzzilla Says:

      To quote Dan Savage, “DTMFA.”

      Also, that’s a good point – yeah, how *does* she know the “wife” calls her names? Classy move. :/

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

      • ISOf16 Says:

        Ha ha….. “DTMFA.” – That is exactly what I thought, when I was only half way through this clueless lady’s sob story. Why do women mess around with married men….And my bet is that when he no longer has to pay support, he will move on and dump her butt fast.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  2. LostSailor Says:

    Hmmm. Is it deja vu? I recall seeing this one before.

    What should the OP do? Run.

    This guy doesn’t have a crazy ex, he has a crazy wife. And he’s a doormat with her, but he’s a sponge with the OP.

    She’s been paying for the privilege of being his mistress, nothing more. In 2 weeks, he’ll still be paying because he’s a wimp.

    The OP makes the mistake of putting his “wife” in quotes. Sorry, but she still is his wife. OP is just the clueless other woman.

    OP: get your head out of the clouds: this guy will always be tied to his wife and has no backbone. I rarely say this, but in this case, you can do better. Taking in the homeless might be a step up…

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 0

    • Eliza Says:

      LOL! Homeless shelter. Yes, Why are some people so damn clueless????! The writing is on the wall – in huge font. Don’t understand…is it that horrible to be on your own, that one will grab a man that is basically a user and still being used and abused by his current “Wife”?! He not only has a crazy wife, but a crazy life. Not stable. And yes, he’s defines the term “wimp”. Find someone like-minded. Unless, the OP has met her match? I have concluded – as absurd as it may be – some people thrive on all the drama and craziness. They enjoy the rollercoaster rides. So–perhaps she knows it’s going nowhere–but deliberately turns a blind eye. So be it. You reap what you sow as they say.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

  3. Snowflake Says:

    RUN!! FAST!!

    His ex/or should say wife is not the only crazy one, he is too. He puts up with it because he chooses to.

    And so have you for how long now? As harsh as this sounds but you seem to like rescuing lost causes, that is the issue here. People around us can be as bat shit crazy as they want to be but at the end of the day it is our choice to put up with that or to run for the hills far far away.

    Crazy attracts crazy.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0

  4. JulesP Says:

    Mary hi,
    Sweetheart please… you need to do yourself a favour and cut your losses and walk away. You know as well as I do that in two weeks, nothing is going to change. If this chap really wanted to divorce his wife, believe me he would have done this quite some time ago. You don’t necessarly know all the reasons why he’s stayed married.

    It is of no importance right now how well or not his girls get on with you… or what your family do or don’t think of him. The only thing that counts is whether or not you are going to allow him to take from you.

    Walk away… see if he follows. You sound like a good woman.. a little naive maybe but after losing your husband I can understand why you would want to believe this man is just two steps away from making himself a permanent fixture in your life. If he doesn’t follow then you have saved yourself from wasting any more time and if he does.. well you need to make it clear that he needs to divorce his wife first.

    Good luck

    Jules

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

  5. Stephanie Says:

    This is the last dirty little secret of dating over a certain age: the travails of the girlfriend of a divorced man with kids. This is clearly something that deserves a lot more attention than it gets, particularly from the pov of the “put-upon” women in the current relationship. Many deserve better and should act as such.

    Clearly this man is still in a relationship with his ex – no matter if you loves or hates her. The OP will be relegated to third wheel status until or if the man decides that his life is as valuable as his ex-wife’s. He is not available for a relationship and that is clear based upon many things the OP states here, not the least of which is, he cannot pay his own way. He has no right to ask the OP to carry the load. And the OP has a choice not to. I suggest she consider her options.

    As for the man, he should not be entering into any relationship until he has handled his business. It is his responsibility to manage his “other life” so it minimally (if at all) impinges on his current situation. Men too easily exonerate themselves by saying they can’t help it, change it, etc. “It is what it is.” No, not really. You can manage it transparently and with honesty and do what you can to set proper boundaries. If for nothing else but what’s best for the children you had with this woman. Sadly, men’s issues (re: inability) with multi-tasking often lead to these kinds of situations and the ones who lose are the ones like the OP.

    OP, value your life and what you offer and soon you will know that it is time to walk away from this handicapped person.

    Good luck, from one who has been there.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1

    • Eliza Says:

      Stephanie – the bottom line is: REGARDLESS of age – people treat you ONLY how you allow them to treat you. If you command, or come across as though you deserve respect, you will get that respect. And if you are amongst degenerates or men/women who lack respect or come across as being deceptive–there is a simple solution – walk away. It works wonders – every time.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  6. Carlos Nunez Says:

    This sounds like a total mess.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  7. Idezign2 Says:

    He doesn’t keep promises, you sound frustrated and angry, so why are you even considering a relationship with him? The money you lent him is gone as well as he should be from your life. Chalk the whole thing up to “lesson learned” and start dating again and have fun.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  8. coffeestop Says:

    Oh hell no. And I am just a few years younger that the LW. Here is the deal, people who want to get divorced just go and get divorced. So for some reason he did not want to so there is your first problem. The next problem is that the LW let him live there and then he broke off the relationship. So,he does not really want a relationship although it sounds like he is fine with having the LW pay for stuff. Third problem is paying for stuff.

    The LW needs to end the relationship. Cold turkey no chit chat back and forth. Find somebody who wants a relationship, does not have a so called crazy ex, and move on. Any time I hear about the crazy ex even if it is true I lose interest. People with the energy to describe the ex as crazy or problematic and then use their behavior as a reason why things cannot happen in the current relationship is still entangled. This applies to men and women.

    Hope things work out for you and enjoy dating new people.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

  9. mindstar Says:

    The OP should pull the ripcord on this one. I’ll hazard a guess she latched on to him because she was a recent widower and feared being alone. Now 3 years later she’s still “alone” and out $$$. Get out of this now. You’re doing a disservice to yourself

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  10. yb Says:

    This man is filling a huge emptiness in the OP’s life. For the time being, this is obviously the best option the OP has since she has stuck with him. It is ok to be with him and hope for the best just make sure to establish boundaries so that you don’t get abused. Don’t pay for him and don’t give him full access to your family either. Treat him only as well as he treats you. With time you may realize you need him much less than you think.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3

    • fuzzilla Says:

      Yeah, I agree with everyone that she should leave him, but it doesn’t sound like she actually will – or not just yet, anyway, given how attached she is and how much she’s invested. If nothing else, she seems to believe that if she sticks out the two weeks, she’ll get the money she’s owed. She should probably just let the money thing go for the sake of her mental health. If owes her a serious shit-ton, maybe it’s worth small claims court.

      At least, like you said, slowly building up better boundaries is a step in the right direction.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

      • ISOf16 Says:

        True… But my bet is on nothing changing in this lady’s life… nor will things changed for her married boyfriend.. if he really is getting a divorce. She will continue to pay for his stuff. But I’m really confused about what she wrote about buying his “motorcycle batteries” Why is she doing that…..more to this story than what she is telling. I think she is perfectly matched to all the charters in her story.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

        • fuzzilla Says:

          >But my bet is on nothing changing in this lady’s life… nor will things changed for her married boyfriend.. if he really is getting a divorce.<

          I don't think it will, either.

          She sounds like a classic codependent, particularly with the whole "buying love" thing. She could Google some articles/books on that to get a little clarity/get unstuck (like "Women Who Love Too Much").

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  11. AnnieNonymous Says:

    When a guy implies that he has to follow through on an arbitrary timeline before committing to a woman (in this case, he has her believing that finishing up his child support payments in two weeks is some sort of milestone for their relationship), he’s really just stringing her along. No divorced people would ever date if they had to wait until their kids aged out of needing child support. I’ve had guys pull similar stunts. “Oh, I can’t date anyone right now because I’m starting a new job in two months and I’m thinking about doing a semester overseas in a year. But after that we’ll see what happens.” There’s nothing stopping a guy like that from dating, except for the fact that he wants to stay single.

    The OP has a few screws loose. Child support payments aside, why shouldn’t the guy pay for his daughters’ prom dresses and yearbooks? There are always going to be expenses that fall outside the parameters of the child support payments. That the OP thinks this is a reason to dislike the guy’s ex is her issue. She’s inventing reasons for why she’s better than he ex and creating imaginary scenarios for why the guy will eventually choose her. The truth is that an ex is only as present and annoying as a guy will let her be.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

    • fuzzilla Says:

      Agreed, although it doesn’t sound like he’s even implying any of that, just that she’s hoping. :/

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  12. threeLegDog Says:

    Stopped reading at “18 and 22″.

    Uhhh… why is this guy giving /anyone/ money? Wife? Kids? whatever…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3

    • mindstar Says:

      Depends on what state they’re in. In New York for example a parent’s duty to support a child runs until age 21. There are exceptions ex. child gets married at 18, enlists in military etc.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  13. My Dating Hangovers Says:

    Ooh, the separated man? Been there, done that and I can say with 99.99999% certainty that I would never do it again. Sure, this is too little, too late but getting involved with someone who has unresolved issues c especially as significant as a marriage, is a no-no.

    He needs to handle his business and this woman should back away until he does.

    Supporting two adults? The ex makes more than he does? Giving the woman the option to file for divorce her way?? Wtf, he sounds like he left his testicles with her when he left the relationship!

    In one end of the spectrum this woman sounds like she’s got a head on her shoulders, but to have given up so much for him and receiving so much less I’m return sounds like a fool.

    Whatever is decided going forward remember this- we deal with enough bullshit in relationships with “single” people, so why add to the madness with someone who’s still attached to another?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  14. AnnieNonymous Says:

    Wait…so if they’re not actually divorced, is this guy really paying child support? It sounds like the guy is lying about having to make those payments to get more money out of the OP. If he’d actually gone through the court system, he wouldn’t have to stop paying child support the exact week of the youngest child’s high school graduation. These days, child support often extends up through the college years, especially if the kids live at home to attend a local school. The father also usually has to cover health insurance up through college graduation at least. Sometimes he’ll have to cover the entirely of his kids’ college tuition (or pay off their loans) in lieu of making traditional child support payments. My point is that this guy is lying and not even doing a very good job of it.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

    • Mary Says:

      Annie,
      I saw the child support papers, and he pays until the 18 year old graduates high school in another week. He had asked me to help him with a budget a few years ago, and so I know how horrible his finances are, but he continues to take out loans and credit cards to pay for his family extra “living beyond their income” wants. I walked away a week ago, and am trying to stay strong and stay away this time. I am a fixer, and hate to see anyone in need, but I can’t do this anymore! I told him that I can’t live like this anymore, and until he is divorced, I have to stay away from him. It is complicated because we have numerous mutual friends, and we belong to a club that I sponsored him with. Without him in my life, I have few friends, and the place I love to hang out is difficult now.
      I don’t think he purposely set out to use me, but he is dealing with so much guilt from leaving his family that he needed someone to comfort him, and I stupidly stepped into that space since I also was hurting from losing my husband of 26 years to cancer.
      I have walked away before, and he would cry and promise me that things would change, and I believed him. SUCKER HERE! No more…I must be strong and stay away!
      I obviously am “Mary” from the article. :)

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

      • DrivingMeNutes Says:

        “I told him that I can’t live like this anymore, and until he is divorced”

        What’s going to change when he gets “divorced?”

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    • LostSailor Says:

      Child support varies from state to state, and applies to separated couples as well as divorced couples. In NY, under the old system, divorce was processed either by a court hearing or the filing of a separation agreement that would layout child support arrangements and would be legally enforceable. In other states the custodial parent can file for support if only separated.

      In the OP’s state, PA, from what I can find, support is ordered even in separation, and all payments are processed through the state. Unless otherwise ordered by a court, payments end when the child is 18 or graduates high school, whichever is later.

      So, this guy is not necessarily lying, at least about the support payments. That doesn’t mean the OP shouldn’t run far and fast from this guy, but let’s not assume he’s lying about this part…

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

      • LostSailor Says:

        Ah, I see Mary already answered this.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • AnnieNonymous Says:

        i hadn’t assumed they were legally separated, since the ex didn’t want to finalize the divorce.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

        • LostSailor Says:

          In most states “legally” separated means spouses maintain separate domiciles. Which would allow the custodial parent to file for support with the state and, if necessary, with the court. It doesn’t just mean a formal filing of a separation agreement (NY may have been unique for that, I don’t know, but they changed to a no-fault system week after my divorce was filed).

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • AnnieNonymous Says:

            I see. I’m still annoyed with Mary though. That this guy actually pays his child support is the few redeeming qualities about him. Whining that a guy has to fork over a legally-mandated amount of money to his children and “shrew” ex is one of the oldest and least attractive tactics out there.

            Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

  15. Mary Says:

    LostSailor,

    He also told me that he was ordered by the court to continue to pay their cellular bill (his wife is on it too), car insurance bill (he gave his car to his 18 year old daughter, and drives his company car, and pays for 3 vehicles that he doesn’t drive), and a loan that they took out years ago. Does the court really order you to pay bills, and support?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    • LostSailor Says:

      Mary:

      Yes, it can. Again, it differs by state, but family court in most cases can order pretty much anything it wants. While they’re supposed to take into account the ability of the non-custodial parent to pay, that sometimes doesn’t mean much as they can look at not just actual income but “imputed income.” That is the income the court feels you should or could be making, whether you’re actually making that or not. But you say you’ve seen a copy of the support order, so you should know exactly what the court has ordered him to pay. But he’s going beyond that and worse, going into debt to do so. There is something very wrong with that, and possibly with him that he thinks going into debt for his not-yet-ex is a bright idea. There’s nothing wrong with him doing extra for his daughters; they’re his children after all. But going into debt for things like their car repairs and prom dresses shows poor judgment.

      Wanting to take care of his kids is one thing, but if there’s nothing left over such that you have to pony up for dates and other of his expenses also shows a very poor regard for you. His wife “hates” you, yet he’s still going the extra mile for her and the kids. Where is his devotion and gratitude for all you’ve done and are doing for him? Technically, you’re also supporting her and the kids. I’d urge you to stop, to cut off any and all financial support for him, including paying for dates or other activities together.

      I am also curious about the whole divorce-filing business. He filed, she wouldn’t sign, so he agreed to withdraw his petition so she could file, but she still won’t file? There’s something definitely fishy going on there. If he were serious, he should file again. The only reason, in my opinion, that she would want to file is so she can say that she divorced him rather than the other way round. That, and I suspect her dislike for you in a strong factor here. She’s holding the divorce over his head to keep him connected to her and not you.

      Walking away may be hard for you for a variety of reasons, but this relationship isn’t healthy. Better to take the pain now. If he loves you, he’ll act to be able to be with you. If not, you’ll know soon enough and can move on.

      Good luck.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

  16. D'Alias Says:

    Does it matter if it’s court ordered? Because he is goin to pay for it anyway. Stay away from this guy. UNLESS you are happy with minimal companionship from him. And it’s ok if you are satisfied with that. But protect yourself – do NOT lend this man another re scent or pay for any outings unless you really want to go and it’s the only way you can attend.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  17. Chianti_Z Says:

    I’m reading this and feeling very sorry for the OP. People in this age group waste a lot of time and put up with a lot more than the younger lot, which is interesting, being that they are closer to death than the younger group. I’ve seen a couple who dated for 20 years. He’s been divorced for 18 of those 20 years. His excuse was that he lived down the street from his kids and he didn’t want to ruin their childhoods. Once the youngest was done with college, he moved his girlfriend in. They’ve been engaged to be married for 7 years and no, they are not married and i’ve not heard of any plans to marry. My feeling is, he’ll never marry her. There’s another couple who dated for 22 years and finally got married last year. They were both divorced, lived in separate homes and both felt it wasn’t good for the kids. Call me selfish, I find the man of my dreams, we’re getting a place together, kids or no kids, life’s too short. LOL

    I do not want to give Mary hope, but things in this age group move extremely slow. I have no idea as to why. But what I can tell Mary is that although things move very slow in this age group, with the people I know, the man pays for the dates, takes these women on vacation and has his own home away from the wife/ex-wife. This guy is doing nothing, but spending your money. Please Mary, stay strong. This guy either doesn’t want a relationship or isn’t strong enough to get a divorce, either or, do you want a weak man?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  18. M Says:

    Maybe the guy is a wimp. But after all this time, that doesn’t seem to bother the OP so more power to her. I wonder how many of the people calling him a wimp have any kids and would screw over their ex – someone who they clearly no longer have a relationship with – if it also meant screwing over their kids. I say give him 2 weeks. At this point, why not? Just before the 2 weeks start , tell him he has 2 weeks and that if things don’t change you are gone. Show him that no matter what, he is going to make someone unhappy and then see what he chooses. That will tell you what’s important to him.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  19. Mary Says:

    M,
    Update on the story. My kids have been wonderful helping me keep busy, and checking on me. BTW…I have 7 of them from my marriage of 27 years. Anyway, I was told by a friend that he is telling our friends, ” Too much b.s. with my divorce not moving as fast as she would like and it has always been an issue. I would rather be alone than put up with aggravation,”
    WOW…I was so stupid thinking that perhaps this time he would do something? I am hurting, angry, bitter, confused, but determined! Thank you for all the help this internet site is to me!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

    • fuzzilla Says:

      So he made it all about him, huh? Not surprising… :/ Be good to yourself, Mary. Get out with friends and do something silly and fun. Really, do check out “Women Who Love Too Much” (a book).

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

      • mary Says:

        Fuzzilla,

        Thank you!!! I am ordering the book today! :)

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

      • Eliza Says:

        Great advise Fuzzilla. There are so many women – who I guess are not naive, but really do love too much. I can understand – that we learn from what we see. I grew up in an environment (European upbringing) – where the “men” in the house get so catered to. No questions asked…and without reciprocation too…that I tend to give so much when I care about someone. But lesson number 1: You need to love yourself first-before loving anyone else. And yes, better to be alone, than in bad/toxic company. Mary-you deserve so much more than that fool of a man. Surround yourself with those that matter – your family – your true friends. You can do this. Move on. What doesn’t kills us makes us stronger as they say. I truly believe that.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  20. Sarah Says:

    Wife always wins. Especially if she’s crazy.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    • Eliza Says:

      so true. I lived through that…and just recently–I saw it again–poor guy. But he allowed her to play that role and get the best of him. yes, there are sharks out there – their claws come out during divorce proceedings. But not all exes or ex-wives are like this.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  21. Mary Says:

    Eliza,
    Thank you for words of encouragement. I am leaving on vacation for a week to see my BFF, and hopefully it will help me heal from the bitterness that I have developed over the past few months. I’m not sleeping well at night, and try to keep busy so that I don’t keep reviewing the past years of my life wondering “what if”.
    I spoke to him last night to try to figure out how we will handle the future when we bump into each other, because we have many mutual friends, and belong to a club that we both enjoy hanging out at. He allowed me to rehash my frustrations, and he let me know that he is done with our relationship also due to my nagging him lately. (I did…not pretty). :(
    I patiently waiting for the book Fuzzila recommended.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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