Beware The Man Who Just Wants To Wank To Your Boobies

It all starts very innocently. A really attractive guy drops a message in your inbox. After weeks of hearing from every slovenly looking dude within a hende25 mile radius, you’re at first thrilled that this guy decides to hit you up.

Oh. Wait. He lives in another state. Or another country. His profile says he travels frequently between where he lives and where you live. Or it doesn’t. It doesn’t really matter. You’re just so relieved to realize you’re not doomed to have to marry the, “Hey, how r u, baby?’ guy that you don’t care.

You trade some messages. Then you move to texting. The flirting slowly (or maybe even quickly) shifts to innuendo. Which is okay, you think, because he seems to genuinely like you. I mean, he must, right? He sends you good morning texts and tells you how beautiful you are and says he was thinking about you. He might even quickly mention that he’s planning a trip to your town in the very near future.  He must mean it!

He “innocently” sends you a shot of his erect penis. Wow. Impressive, you think. And it is. You think nothing of stripping down and taking  a quick shot of your naked breasts for him. Tit for tat, amirite guys?

tell me your number, and let’s talk
I want to sit on my bed, touch myself without masturbating and talk sex
I have the day off
and I am in the mood for a woman of substance, who gets me.and allows herself to be understood.
Say yes – OK Cupid message

This goes on for days. Weeks. Maybe even months. He sends you a picture of his penis, you send him one of your breasts or an up close shot of your new bikini wax. Those travel plans he mentioned? Oh, right. Well, his  dog got cancer and now he has to take her to chemo every week. He just can’t leave her, you know? You think, “Wow. Well endowed, attentive AND compassionate. Score!”

The emails fly back and forth between you, detailing all the hot things you’re going to do to each other when you finally – FINALLY – get to meet.

That’s when you start to get really anxious to meet him. Maybe you could fly down to see him? Or you and he could meet somewhere in the middle, you suggest. He can’t, because now his boss has a goiter and needs surgery and he’s taking on all her work. So ambitious! You’ve been talking to him for so long now that you really believe that you and he are in a relationship.

And then something happens. The daily text messages and sexts now just dribble in like the pre-ejaculatory fluid that drips from his penis. Is he okay? Is something wrong? You text him concerned. He replies, but not in his usual lightening fast speed. No. It takes a few hours. Maybe even a couple of days. Then it all just..stops. Yup, his profile is still on the site. He’s logged on a few times in the 36 hours you’ve been waiting for him to reply. You believed when he said he just keeps forgetting to take it down.

You finally decide to confront him on what is going on. He takes that opportunity and your frustration and uses it against you. He says things are done.

“But how can he do that?” you wonder. Easy. Because he was never that interested in the first place. Not only that, but he possibly wasn’t terribly attracted to you, either.  It’s really no different than calling a phone sex line or watching porn. He possibly even already has a girlfriend or a wife. A cheater, you say? I’m not sure I agree.  It’s about intention, and I think in most cases these guys never plan to actually meet the women with whom they are sharing raunchy fantasies. If I found out my guy was getting off in this manner, what would bother me more would be to learn he was leading that woman to believe something that wasn’t true. Look, you need something new every once in a while? I get it. But if you lie or exploit someone’s naivete or emotions, I’ll have a really hard time getting past that.

These guys work their lines an any and all women. They’re just hoping for it to stick with one. While some intentionally seek out women they think will be more pliable, for the most part any female is a target. I have a strict policy. I block ANYBODY who does not live in NYC or one of the surrounding boros. I don’t reply. I just block them. Nine times out of ten I would guess that people like that, who send messages to folks who live afar, are just looking for some form of dirty talk.

Now, all of this isn’t to say that having people like this in our little dating arsenal aren’t useful. They are. To know you’re getting some guy turned on can be quite a power trip as long as you know where you stand. But both people involved need to be on the same page. Throwing in phony promises here or there simply isn’t right. Equally sad are when guys try to say things like, “I have a very hard time getting it up for women with whom I can’t have an intelligent conversation ” Orly?  So a conversation about the color panties she’s wearing has no affect on you unless she’s up on current events? Okay. Sure. The reality is that, if they live in the same city as you and never seem to want to take these fantasies and make them reality, there’s usually a reason. And that reason typically is lack of attraction or they are otherwise taken. I’ll repeat what I said earlier. Most guys don’t need chemistry and attraction to sit at a laptop or lay on their bed to get the poison out. And neither do some women.

For many people, there’s no need for any kind of connection or attraction in order to have an orgasm or get aroused. All they need is inspiration.

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13 Responses to “Beware The Man Who Just Wants To Wank To Your Boobies”

  1. Van Jeigh Says:

    Women do the same thing, except it seems as though they seek the emotional part of the relationship. This, I believe, is because they are either involved with a “meathead” or are one of those women who bounces from guy to guy without ever establishing the foundation one needs to have a meaningful relationship. Ironically, the texting relationship probably perpetuates the problem because the void isn’t as noticeable as it normally would be.

    My two cents~

    Always the other guy

    • Howard Says:

      It’s about people loving attention. Too many people are living lonely existences. So we see these types of crazy scenarios laid out above. I am beginning to suspect that they are actually finding people to play along with them. It’s a scary thought, but probably true. While women tend to avoid a counterpart of the lewd scenario above, some also have no intention of meeting, and play out their own version of delighting in all the attention they are getting form those many messages they receiving online.

      We have all got the develop a thick skin and accept, this is just the seedier side of online dating which we must ignore, and be sure to develop no angst when we encounter it. It’s really just wasting emotion, if we stat thinking and absorbing ourselves too much in these types of situations..

  2. James Says:

    This here is another reason I dislike online dating. There are so many creeps and jerks out there that most women don’t trust guys online. I have to compete with that. It’s so bad that the decent guys who are actually looking have to get past “the wall” as I call it.
    I met a woman once who told me she received on average 2 to 3 cock pics per day. Along with the lewd messages. She said this one guy who was about 300 lbs and over 60 sent her a video of him doing the deed and suggesting she would enjoy it. WTF? Did this perv actually expect a woman is going to fall head over heels after watching that disgusting display.
    I asked her why did she tolerate it? She said she didn’t she blocked him and reported him. I guess it was old news to her.
    I just don’t understand it.

  3. James Says:

    Women do it too…but not on the same level. I once saw a profile on POF that was clearly set up to be a tease. This woman had about 10 photos of her boobs and her butt. One face pic. She was hot and had the assets but clearly stated in her profile to not contact her.
    So I guess it goes both ways.
    To me it’s a waste of time only because I can see that anywhere online.

  4. Tonya Johnson Says:

    If you send naked pics to some man youve never met you’re a fricken idiot! If you think youre in a relationship with someone you’ve never met you’re even more if an idiot! Guys also travel from city to city screwing women who are willing or stupid enough to allow it. I’m guessing if he never shows up and stops calling you he’s done you a favor.

    • julie Says:

      +1000
      In fairness, we have all been duped by someone in some way if not in this specific way. Who hasnt fallen for the “no I really do care” guy or the “I need you to give me a present” girl? Just happens sometimes when we are too eager or optimistic. As a general rule, a guy who wants to talk about sex before he has met you is almost definitely not interested in anything else.

      As for not being hot enough for him? Please. Who the heck wants to jerk off to someone who turns your stomach?! I doubt he would treat Angelina Jolie any differently. He is just a creep with a girlfriend.

      • julie Says:

        Oh and the out-of-state guys arent all looking for sexting. Ive never had an out-of-state guy try to sext me. Just avoid guys who want to talk about sex before you meet….or as soon as you meet. If they dont care to find out if they like you and if you like them before you get down and dirty, thats not a good sign.

  5. Speedy Says:

    As Shakespeare said “what a piece of work is a man”.
    We can be quite complicated creatures you know, so yeah, RLY.
    You don’t realise it but you’re making the same reasoning mistake the cockshotters are.

  6. Ken Besig Says:

    When I saw the headline, “Beware The Man Who Just Wants To Wank To Your Boobies” I honestly thought you were referring to the breast sex act that men use women for.

  7. noquay Says:

    Reading this post made me glad that at 53, I am considered an old lady and as such seem to be immune from that sort of trash. I pretty much am limited to on line as the older male dating pool within a 50 mile radius of here should not be dated by anyone. However, if someone did send me a shot below the belt so to speak, my impulse would be to block, then report his sorry ass, not send a photo in turn. If this is indeed a real instance, she brought it on herself. Likewise, why would anyone need to know they are validated as attractive by receiving such texts? Self esteem much?

  8. NonSexist Says:

    These comments are entirely SEXIST written by sexists…..theoretical nonsense with anti-male bias.
    Why else would you not find articles here about female misbehavior?
    Women solicit online sex as much as men……..why the blatant anti-male sexism here?
    Women use men for free meal tickets, by pretending to be ready for sex…..only to abuse men for their money……lets read an unbalanced article about that!

    • Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:

      Tell you what. You got scour the internet for stories written by men complaining about being inundated with unsolicited pics of women’s vaginas and breasts. Go find a guy who is complaining that he sent a woman a picture of his penis and is all upset that she never responded to him.

      Why else would you not find articles here about female misbehavior?

      You’re an idiot. Pretty much every body who has read more than 3 posts on this site can attest that there are PLENTY of posts that call women out for bad behavior. Grab your Woobie and go cry in another corner.

      Women use men for free meal tickets, by pretending to be ready for sex…..only to abuse men for their money……lets read an unbalanced article about that!

      Click the Dating & Finances category and read the dozen upon dozen of those posts. You’re welcome.

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