Question: Ok so here’s my dilemma and I would like an honest answer from men.
I just turned 37 and I am a single mom of a 5 year old boy. Everyone that first meets me thinks I’m in my late 20s and for that I am thankful. I take good care of myself and so forth. However on the dating scene, I am not having much luck. I was dating a guy for about 10 months but he was also 10 years younger than me which is the first for me. I was totally weirded out about it but he assured me he didn’t care and that he loves kids and all of that and to be honest we had a very good synergy to the point that the age didn’t really matter. Well so..that didn’t work out and when the it came down to it, it was my age and the fact that I had a kid. Ok thanks for that. Anyway, I have since talked to a few other men (my age group) and I’m getting alot of hesitation because I have a child. Why is that? I am a good looking woman, I have a good job, I take care of my home and my kid so why is that an issue? Is it because a man won’t get all of my attention all the time? Because if I’m dating someone that I like and want to get to know, I make time, even if it’s in the evening for a few hours to hang out. This is starting to annoy me and I would just like to know what the REAL issue is here because I feel like I’m starting to lose faith in men and I don’t want that. I want to find someone I can share my life with.
People are hesitate to date someone with kids because it’s difficult.Scheduling dates is inordinately difficult, there’s a lot of concern about staying over, weekends are almost out of the question depending on their child’s age and their custody agreement. It’s tremendously difficult. Somebody 35-45 years old doesn’t have to tolerate any of that because they have enough options.
Guys your age can still get women who don’t have kids and with whom they can have their own. They don’t have to (nor do they really want to) financially support another person’s child. And no matter what you say, in some way they will be. That’s your answer in a nutshell. You need to be dating men in their early/mid-forties or older. Preferably divorced men with kids of their own who understand your lifestyle and that your child takes top priority.
Yes, younger men will tell you that neither your age nor the fact that you have a child are an issue. They will lie. Or they’ll be too immature to be thinking more than a step or two ahead and won’t consider what dating someone ten years their senior with a child entails. Nobody gets it until they do it. It’s a daunting proposition for many.
The solution for you is pretty simple. You’ll just have to let go of your desire to date men your age. It’s one of the tougher things about dating as a single woman over 35, but it’s crucial.