Let’s get serious for a moment, for the average adult female, a 15-20 lbs weight gain is at least 10-15% of their total body weight. Unless you lack self awareness you must know that you look different than your pictures. More to the point…why is dating your priority if you just had a major weight gain. You don’t weight gain by accident:
1. Work has become a problem/hurting your ability to manage your weight/health
2. You are eating your emotions
3. You are otherwise sick or hurt
There is no perfect time to date but I have to truly wonder why you would try to start a relationship when you are “on the ropes” in the rest of your life. – Rugbychix
Yeah! Stay home, fatty!! Amirite?
A 15-20 pound weight gain isn’t that big of a deal or even THAT noticeable depending on how someone carries the weight. I know that one of my photos on my profile makes me look a bit more slender than I am. I also know I’ve gained about 10 pounds since my sister died. Should I hide in my apartment?
Lucky for me the guys I date don’t have a “no fatty” rule or whip out a BMI calculator on our dates. – Moxie
Since the average american is already 10 to 15 lbs over weight that then makes them 30lbs overweight. This is why if someone is “skinny” or “athletic” in dating photos you are hedging your bets that they will be just a dumpy average american.
It’s also a long term commitment issue. If someone can’t maintain a consistent weight and level of health outside of a relationship there’s a pretty slim chance that’s going to happen in a relationship. Forget about after adding rugrats.
“I also know I’ve gained about 10 pounds since my sister died. Should I hide in my apartment?”
No, you should regain your emotional footing from that traumatic event and return to physical and mental equilibrium. Then you should go back to dating. – Rugbychix
Here’s where I stand on this issue. I don’t think there is ever really a “good” time to be dating. By that I mean that there’s always going to be something that makes you feel like you’re not at your optimum best. Health issues arise, work or employment status can change, our emotional well-being can change. Shit happens. Sure, there are periods here and there when we need to take a step back for a few days or even a week. But the idea that someone would cease dating until they lost 15-20 pounds seems a little silly. Not only is the visible difference not always noticeable, but if someone expects their dates to look exactly like their photos, that in and of itself speaks to how unreasonable their expectations might be. No, I don’t think it’s wise to post photos where you’re ten years younger or fifty pounds heavier. But there’s some wiggle room there that reasonable people expect and handle.
If everybody took a break from dating while they worked on themselves or so they could lose ten pounds, become more emotionally stable or not be unemployed/broke, dating sites would shut down. Sorry, but life is hard and comes with a series of experiences that can bring us to our knees. If you think your partner is going to stay EXACTLY the same after two, three, five years together, you’ve been watching too many movies.