Does She HAVE To Swallow After Oral Sex?

March 17th, 2015

Moxie 101, Naughty, NEW!, Oral Sex, Sex

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): GiGiyuck

:
Comment: Is swallowing cum true reciprocity?

This guy I’m hooking up with wants me to swallow; I don’t. He says that since he goes down on me and has my “juices” in his mouth then I should do the same to him.

I disagree. I think him ejaculating in my mouth is a bit more, for lack of a better word, drastic than him giving me oral.

What do you think?

And why do you think guys like for women to swallow? He’s cum on me but says he wants “more.”
Age: 27
City: Jacksonville
State: FL

Well, We are having one naughty, sexy week of questions so far, aren’t we?

So, I happen to agree with your fuck buddy. While the fluids might not be ejaculated with the same kind of force or volume, men are getting  a lot of stuff on their lips and tongue that may or may not be all that pleasant to taste or swallow. So, I definitely see this guy’s point.

Why do guys like for women to swallow? Well, for starters, having your mouth around his penis while he climaxes provides added sensation, friction, and pleasure. Basically, it just feels better. But the other reason they prefer women swallow is that they, like us, want to feel desired and accepted. If a guy headed south on you and was like, “Nope. Not gonna finish. Too stinky” how would you feel? Embarrassed? Unattractive? Yes. That’s how some men feel when women stop just before the guy climaxes and refuses to swallow and lets him erupt all over himself.

Now, if you don’t like to swallow because you hate the taste, there are ways around it. There are flavored lubes you can use to help change the taste of his ejaculate. You’re going to want to stay away from using mints or flavor strips of any kind because many some of those things contain ingredients that can burn if they get into the hole at the tip of a man’s penis.

If you just don’t like swallowing because you don’t like it, then don’t do it. It shouldn’t be a deal breaker. But, if your guy gladly services you and you enjoy it,  it would be nice of you to try and find a different way for him to orgasm that doesn’t make him feel like you’re sick to your stomach. Have him aim it at your breasts or your face. Or let him shoot his semen on his stomach and you can wipe it off with a warm facecloth or towelette. Try to find a way to make that moment intimate.

 

Thoughts?

Sometimes the love of your life is the love of your life. (R)

@ATWYSingle

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33 Responses to “Does She HAVE To Swallow After Oral Sex?”

  1. JayD Says:

    I like it when my partner swallows for it heightens the sense of intimacy. But it never be a quid pro quo. This guy sounds like a bitch.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 26 Thumb down 17

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  2. Bree Says:

    Really? Is it full of protein too and a great skin moisturizer for her face? Sorry, but I agree with the OP that swallowing a load of semen is not reciprocal with getting some stray fluid while licking somebody’s clitoris. It’s easy to avoid swallowing vaginal fluid and it doesn’t all come at once either.

    You already get “pre-cum” fluid when giving head. To me that’s reciprocal enough.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 33 Thumb down 26

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  3. Jordan Says:

    Does she HAVE to swallow after oral sex?

    Nope.

    The guy doesn’t HAVE to stick around after sex either.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 19 Thumb down 24

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    • Selena Says:

      “The guy doesn’t HAVE to stick around after sex either.”

      And if he’s pressuring her to swallow when he knows she doesn’t like it, why IS he sticking around?

      Control issue perhaps?

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 13

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      • bbdawg Says:

        IMO swallowing is pretty intense and reserved for monogamy. I love intense BJs, DT, etc… and I am totally ok with cumming on breasts, face, etc…but no, I am not swallowing if you’re not my BF, or if there isn’t some commitment of some kind. To me swallowing means total acceptance, that’s too intimate for someone you’re only hooking up with. When you have intercourse with a FWB there is a condom between the two of you.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 11

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        • bbdawg Says:

          BJ is an intense skill that demands more than getting oral from men…I am sorry, it just is… it isn’t the kind of thing that should be doled out casually…having someone’s C**K down your throat while you occasionally gag and are constantly out of breath isn’t the same as licking or sucking on a clit.

          Swallowing is the icing on the cake of hardcore BJ’ing and to me, personally, is a signifier of commitment and submission to a man, which isn’t doled out casually to some fwb.

          The OP isn’t into the man enough to swallow, that is the bottom line and she shouldn’t because she is not obligated to.

          The only time a man can demand sexual favors from a woman is when he either a ridiculously good lay that she’ll do anything he asks OR if he offered commitment, in which case (in my personal opinion), as a GF, it’s in her best interest to be as good in bed as it’s humanly possible. Low-end mediocre lay dudes technically don’t have anything to offer and therefore aren’t in the position to make any demands.

          Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 21 Thumb down 18

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          • ATWYSingle Says:

            BJ is an intense skill that demands more than getting oral from men…I am sorry, it just is… it isn’t the kind of thing that should be doled out casually…having someone’s C**K down your throat while you occasionally gag and are constantly out of breath isn’t the same as licking or sucking on a clit.

            Not sure if you’ve actually done both or are just talking out your ass, but you are so unbelievably wrong. They’re both involved and require a decent amount of effort. It’s pretty difficult for most women to reach orgasm, so some guys can be down there for a very long time with their face and node stuffed in a woman’s vagina. Fellatio isn’t nearly as intense or involved as cunnilingus. And if you can say clit, you can say cock. We’re all adults.

            You’ll let a guy you’re casually dating ejaculate on your face but you won’t swallow unless he’s your boyfriend because swallowing is more intimate? Are you one of those, “Anal doesn’t count as sex” women?

            No man can demand sexual favors EVER. How sad for you that you actually think a man gets to do that because he offers to be your boyfriend.

            How old are you? When it comes to men and sex you have the mentality of an 18 year old.

            Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 11

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            • Selena Says:

              ” It’s pretty difficult for most women to reach orgasm, so some guys can be down there for a very long time with their face and node stuffed in a woman’s vagina.

              Fellatio isn’t nearly as intense or involved as cunnilingus.”

              And some women can spend a very long time on fellatio as well, depending ofcourse on the man.

              Particularly men over 50, as you surely know.

              Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 6

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              • ATWYSingle Says:

                The skill level required to make a guy climax with oral isnt nearly as involved as the skill level required to make a woman climax from oral, regardless of age.

                Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 26 Thumb down 12

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            • Lele Says:

              ATWYSingle, I feel that you have been unnecessarily harsh towards this gal. I would bet that her words were meant to be milder than how they sound.

              > Fellatio isn’t nearly as intense or involved as cunnilingus.

              It is, when done well. This is why so few women have made me shake in a full-body orgasm with a blowjob whilst the rest have just managed to make me ejaculate pleasantly. Maybe most men are not demanding in that regard or haven’t been as lucky as me to try the real thing, and consequently women have no incentive to hone their skills.

              Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 3

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          • Lele Says:

            > BJ is an intense skill that demands more than getting oral from men…I am sorry, it just is…

            Not really, unless you are deepthroating (like you are implying later). I haven’t ever given a blowjob but I have sucked foods that resembled a penis and it felt effortless.

            We could agree that tasting semen is not the same as tasting vaginal fluids but this would be another matter.

            > The OP isn’t into the man enough to swallow, that is the bottom line […]

            This.

            > The only time a man can demand sexual favors from a woman is […]

            Sexual favours should never be demanded but, personally, I think that if we are not compatible in that department, we are simply not compatible as a couple. It goes both ways, of course.

            Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3

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      • Mistori Says:

        Who said he’s sticking around?

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 3

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  4. fuzzilla Says:

    I agree with Moxie. It’s not a big deal (to me) and guys enjoy it a lot more than the alternative (I used to be grossed out by it, so I’ve observed both reactions firsthand).

    The OP should be allowed her personal preferences like anyone else, though. I noticed she didn’t say “boyfriend” but “guy she’s hooking up with,” so…why go above and beyond and do something that icks you out for someone you’re not deeply invested in? It’s not like she’s refusing oral altogether.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 0

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    • Selena Says:

      I’d say that’s the point. If two people are only “hooking up” what’s with the “juices effort” thing? Do what you feel like doing knowing it’s going to be short term anyway.

      Unless…this is yet another, “I said I only wanted casual but…” situations. Sigh.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2

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  5. Nicole Says:

    This is an interesting topic but I have to wonder what the OP was hoping to get out of the response to her question.

    Obviously you don’t HAVE to swallow – you don’t HAVE to do anything in bed you aren’t comfortable doing. But Moxie and a bunch of random folks on the Internet telling you that isn’t going to make the guy stop wanting it. And on the flip side, a bunch of comments about why swallowing is better (my two cents? no mess to clean up!) isn’t going to make you enjoy it if you don’t.

    The swallow or don’t swallow debate – like everything else you do in bed – is something you figure out with your partner. Is this a deal breaker, or something where one or both of you can give in a little? is the rest of the sex (and whatever sort of relationship you two have) good enough that you can just let this one incompatibility slide?

    Personally I don’t think its weird that he wants that or asked for it, but if he’s trying to make you feel guilty about saying no, that’s a problem. Why would you want to keep hooking up with someone who makes you feel bad about your preferences?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 34 Thumb down 1

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    • Crotch Rocket Says:

      “if he’s trying to make you feel guilty about saying no, that’s a problem.”

      Indeed. It’s okay to have different preferences, and there is some level of compromise in any relationship. But when the other person makes you feel bad/guilty/etc. about your preferences, that shows they don’t really respect you.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 1

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  6. Steve from the city next door Says:

    Is it the swallowing or just cum in the mouth? Where does it become an issue?

    I was dating a girl who didn’t mind the cum but refused to swallow…and it was weird in that she would take the load in her mouth and then run for the sink and spit it out and then start hacking to make sure she got it all out…really set the mood.

    If the OP doesn’t want cum at all then I am guessing a condom must be used and that is a whole different thing.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 1

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    • AAORK Says:

      .. “run for the sink and spit it out and then start hacking to make sure she got it all out…really set the mood” .. OMG brings back memories. So true.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

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    • Crotch Rocket Says:

      “she would take the load in her mouth and then run for the sink and spit it out and then start hacking to make sure she got it all out”

      Not only does it kill the mood at the time, from then on, every time that girl even starts to head down there, I get flashbacks of that reaction and the mood is instantly dead AGAIN. Not good.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

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  7. HammersAndNails Says:

    Ugh. The kind if woman who would even ask this question is so lame.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 13

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  8. AAORK Says:

    To swallow or not is a personal choice so I would never beat someone up over it. Among my ex’s, some just did it without asking (nice!), others begged for it (so sexy!), some resisted but did it anyways (ok, you get a C+), some wouldn’t do it at all (#fail). I think women simply don’t realize the importance of this gesture (for some/most men) and how much power it allows her to exert over him. Those women who are happy doing it for their man know this, and they bask in the glory of the power it gives them. Look at it like this ladies: you know the last time you said to yourself “If he would only do this for me, I would do anything for him”? Yeah, it’s like that .. ;)

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  9. Kyra Says:

    I just don’t understand the big deal that women seem to have with swallowing cum. I mean, don’t do if it really squicks you out that much, but seriously.

    I always swallow because of two reasons, I like the added stimulation that a guy gets if I’m sucking while he’s still cumming – it makes the moment a little more intense, and there’s no mess to clean up.

    I just keep a glass by the bedside table, and drink some water after we’re done. Then the moment isn’t ruined by spitting or having to find tissues or wash-cloths.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 4

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    • HammersAndNails Says:

      >it makes the moment a little more intense
      No, it makes the moment a LOT more intense. Game changing intense. Significantly more powerful then sex intense.

      No woman would be thrilled if a man went down on you right until you were about to orgasm and then stopped. How is this a question? I mean if you can’t handle it, you can’t handle it, but it is obviously and unquestionably a big deal.

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    • KK Says:

      I know I left one guy feeling wonderful as I gagged while he was coming in my mouth, and then promptly threw up. Good times. No doubt I leave him fond memories.

      Aside from that spectacularly horrible experience, I do not see what the big deal is about swallowing either. I understand not liking blow jobs, so don’t do them, but once it’s in your mouth, is it that big a deal if you swallow.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 10 Thumb down 1

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  10. Crotch Rocket Says:

    “While the fluids might not be ejaculated with the same kind of force or volume, men are getting a lot of stuff on their lips and tongue that may or may not be all that pleasant to taste or swallow. So, I definitely see this guy’s point.”

    IMHO, this is a false equivalency designed to make her feel guilty and pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to do–not a sign of a partner who actually cares about you, even as a human being, much less as a lover.

    Granted, pussy is an acquired taste, and that taste starts with the first lick, not just a couple seconds at the end like a blowjob. Plus the stray hairs that inevitably get in your mouth if she isn’t completely shaved or waxed–even a small landing strip (my preference) can have problems. But that’s something I accepted because I want my partners to enjoy themselves, and over time I came to genuinely like it. Some guys aren’t willing to even try, and I bless them for that because it makes their exes appreciate me more.

    I don’t really get the objection to swallowing, though. As a straight guy, the entire idea of giving a blowjob revolts me, but I’d think the worst part would be having cum in my mouth in the first place–not the swallowing. So, I simply don’t get why a woman would be okay with the former but not the latter.

    The other thing is that a man’s semen is the physical manifestation of our pleasure; if a woman spits it out, she is literally rejecting that, whereas if she swallows, she is accepting it. That is very powerful symbolism about how she feels about us and specifically about sex with us. Asking for the guy to come on her face or tits is asking him to mark his territory, which is different but equally powerful symbolism. (This also relates to why sex with condoms isn’t as emotionally satisfying, on top of the physical issues, but at least that doesn’t have the visual of the woman literally spitting us out.)

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  11. Isambard Says:

    I’ve heard the solution is pineapple juice.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 3

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  12. sj Says:

    Don’t want to swallow? Don’t. BUT if you’re taking his cum in your mouth anyway (??) then not swallowing is just some petty power play on your part.

    If you aren’t taking the cum inside and it’s just a splash show. ..well, OK, that’s your choice. But you better make it a GOOD splash show AND it would be nice to give it some attention after its done it’s business as this go are still pretty wound up down there.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

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  13. colin Says:

    I think there are 3 Scenarios that should be examined here:

    1) going down on a guy without finishing
    2) going down on a guy, letting him finish, then spitting
    3) going down and swallowing all

    In my experience, 75% of women finish then spit
    And only 10% will actually swallow.

    I can definitely say that the ones who fully swallowed were the most memorable

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

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  14. mark Says:

    GiGi (LW)

    In all fairness this is a toughie. That’s because you bring up several points. Add to that that many of the above posters have also chimed in. Most give pretty fair answers.

    Narrowly, don’t do something that you are just plain uncomfortable with. So if swallowing isn’t your thing then don’t.

    More broadly, your guy is going down on you. So when he points out that he is dealing with various bodily fluids it is entirely fair from him to request the same. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

    Note: I said request. Not demand. No one should put you in the coerced category.

    You seem smart, so I’ll venture the best course of action with respect to this guy.

    Best of luck.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

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  15. Lele Says:

    This post seem to confuse ejaculating in one’s mouth with swallowing.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

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  16. Shadowcat Says:

    Some people have much more sensitive gag reflexes that others, and some men (for lack of a better way of saying it) produce a LOT of volume. There is at least, a more elegant way of removing this fluid from one’s mouth without running to the sink and hacking it out. Personally, I never understood what was so sexy about forcing someone to do something that disgusts them (I mean for men AND women) unless it is a Dom situation…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

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  17. Bondgirl22007 Says:

    It really depends on the woman’s preference what they choose to do in bed. I personally agree with the people that said they enjoy doing it more for someone when they are in a more serious relationship. I have personally wanted to do more things with my partners when they really turn me on regardless of the level of relationship. If the sexual chemistry is hot, go for it.

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