How Not To Be An Insufferable First Date

Hey, so…let’s analyze this abortion of a first date by Rachel Khona!

So when an admitted Republican asked me out, I figured it wasn’t a big deal. After all, I am a reasonable person capable of understanding someone else’s point of view. As long as they are not homophobic, racist or sexist of course. So if you’re in the KKK, you can just forget about it.

Um…congrats on not being an asshole, I guess? I love how she says this as though her choice not to be a racist bigot is worthy of praise.

Todd suggested a place to meet in Manhattan called Nomad. And then followed up by asking me if it would be easier for me to meet further west as I would be coming from Brooklyn. I read the text twice confused by its message. Brooklyn is 100% undoubtedly EAST of Manhattan. Kind of like the sky is blue and dogs who’ve been castrated have no balls. These are facts, my friends.

So, the guy tries to be nice and suggest they meet somewhere that’s convenient for her. But rather than acknowledge the courteous gesture, what does she do? She feels compelled to point out his error. For the record? I couldn’t tell you which way was east or west or north or south. You could embed a compass in my forehead and I still would get lost. I suck at directions. That’s, like, a thing for a lot of people.

So I responded, “Well, I’m happy to meet at Nomad but as Brooklyn is east, meeting further east would be easier not west. So maybe somewhere in Gramercy or Union Square?”

If she was happy to meet at Nomad, then why not just say, “Great! See you at Nomad!” ? I mean, she could have done that, but where’s the fun in being easy going? Yes, it’s always good to speak up when you feel the need, but sometimes it’s best to just shut up and go along to get along. It’s an extra 15 minutes or so. It’s not worth engaging in some useless debate. Not saying anything in a situation like this doesn’t make you a push over. It just means you’re trying to make things easy. For both of you.

I was perplexed. Not only was he not acknowledging the fact that he was geographically challenged, he was kind of whiny about switching venues when he was the one who asked me if I wanted to meet elsewhere in the first place.

Why does he have to acknowledge the mistake? I mean, other than she has a deep seated need to be right at all times and likes to bust balls? She set him up to fail, and now she’s holding it against him. Fun!

I hadn’t planned on bringing up his snafu but it was the first thing he brought up when I arrived. After we exchanged pleasantries and discussed how snow really is the worst, he dove right in.

“So you came from the east?” he implored.

“Um, yeah I did. Because Brooklyn is east,” I responded incredulously.

First, he didn’t implore. To implore means to beg. He inquired, but he didn’t implore. I love when people who are trying to prove how wicked smaht they are show their ass like this. I’m pretty sure she’s using incredulously wrong, too, or at least could have chosen a more appropriate word but just wanted to sound smaaahhtt.  Second, she could have just answered, “Yes.” But, why do that when you can further belabor a point?

“Well it’s really not 100% east,” he responded. I felt my brain turning into pudding. It’s one thing to talk to someone with a different opinion. It’s another thing altogether to talk to someone who still thinks the world is flat.

Again this obnoxious idiot tries to bait the guy into an argument just to use his response against him.

“Let’s just settle this once and for all,” I replied eager to make him realize how idiotic he sounded. I pulled out my iPhone quickly googled a map of NYC. “See this is Brooklyn. This is the East river, which is east. To the west is New Jersey.”

Yes. He sounds idiotic. What a slice of heaven she sounds like. How can she possibly be single?

“Well it’s really kind of south actually,” he responded still unwilling to admit he was wrong.

“Omigod, this is like the most ridiculous conversation,” I said matter-of-factly. “Yes Bay Ridge is south. But I live in Williamsburg. Which is east.”

“Well–” he countered.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s get a drink,” I replied irritably.

Translation: I don’t want to talk about this thing that I wanted to talk about. I definitely don’t want to talk about this thing if you prove me wrong.

“So what do you like to watch on TV?” he asked.

“Anthony Bourdain’s show, Conan, The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper,” I finished triumphantly.

Now, she knows damn right well that mentioning Cooper and Maddow will probably spark a discussion of left versus right wing news.

I knew he was Republican but the idea that he may actually watch Fox News never entered my mind.

Bullshit.

“I tried watching Fox News, but honestly there’s so much exaggeration and half-truths I have a hard time watching it. If it were just straight up facts or opinion based on facts, I’d be OK with it,” I responded. 

I thought that was a reasonable answer. I was trying to be truthful without trying to offend his choices.

Fail. On some level, she knows exactly what she’s doing. But, since she clearly lacks self-awareness, she doesn’t know why she’s doing it. As I’ve said before, trying to have a conversation with people like this is maddening.

Whoa horsey! How did this convo suddenly become so hostile? I’m a firm believer that one should be able to discuss politics without it. So we have different ideas. Can’t we all get along?

Like I said, she’s blissfully unaware of how her actions contributed to this “sudden” hostility.

The rest is just a recap of their tedious contrived argument about politics that she included just to demonstrate how knowledgeable she is and how unreasonable he is. Yawn. You’re both fucking insufferable.

“And you’re an ignorant piece of shit. I’m leaving.” I gathered my stuff and stormed toward the door. How dare he call me naïve? Fuck this guy, I thought to myself. Then I stopped in my tracks.

“Hey Todd!” I shouted. He turned around to look at me. “Brooklyn is EAST!”

I walked out, head held high. And I never went out with another Republican.

Spoiler alert: she didn’t turn around and say anything. That was just a cliched way of tying up this cluster fuck of an article so that people would praise her sass.

Thoughts?

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77 Responses to “How Not To Be An Insufferable First Date”

  1. jaclyn Says:

    I was a teacher at Stuyvesant High School on 9/11, which was located 3.5 blocks north of the World Trade Center. I once asked a guy on a date about the meaning of a crest on his ring, and he explained it was the crest from an organization I had never heard of, and then explained how the organization had proof that the engine found in the Pentagon on 9/11 wasn’t a plane engine; it was actually from a truck, and that proved that 9/11 didn’t involve airplanes. I had actually personally witnessed the second plane crash into the World Trade Center, so I really wasn’t a big proponent of any 9/11 was faked theories. I nodded, smiled, changed the subject, asked a few polite questions and as soon as possible excused myself from the date.

    I also had another experience with a guy who made fun of me for looking both ways before crossing a one way street in Manhattan. He said, “don’t you know this is a one way street? Who looks both ways?” in a hostile tone. I didn’t argue with him that I wasn’t looking both ways for cars (although that is remotely possible) but was actually looking for bicycles, which can be seen traveling opposite traffic flows sometimes. When a guy does something on a first or second date that makes him seem like a jerk you can simply file that information away on the list of “Reasons I should screen this man’s calls” and end a date politely and quickly if you are no longer interested.

    So I really do think she could have handled this date a lot better.

    Also, one of the commentators on xojane correctly pointed out that it really depends on where the subway lines near you go in Manhattan as to which location is convenient for you to meet for a first date. I was born in Brooklyn and lived in Manhattan for 15 years and think of the Bronx as being to the north, and Brooklyn to the south which is not entirely accurate, but mostly how I orient myself (and yes, I also am terrible at directions).

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    • Joe L. Says:

      Um, forget all this debate — I have a question: What the hell original post or blog, and what relaTed retort or response post, is this article even quoting? This is just a confusing bunch of snippets in response to some unknown source text, with no citing of sources or references to the original post. How about we talk about that, pulling quotes out of context and spawning a hot debate, without even properly citing your sources, Ms. Editor? ;)

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  2. KK Says:

    Well, i mean. She lives in Williamsburg. How could she NOT be insufferable? Semi-joking here.

    And look. She is from New Jersey. My friends and I have talked about this, actually. The most annoying, ‘I am such a New Yorker” people are those from Long Island and New Jersey, or also people from tiny towns in the Midwest. This goes doubly true if they move to certain areas in Brooklyn. I guess they are “keeping it real” or something.

    Though, granted, it doesn’t seem like the author was trying to prove some NY street cred. She was just trying to be right. That kind of obnoxiousness can happen anywhere.

    And it is hard to say if “incredulously” was used correctly. Because “incredulously” basically means “disbelievingly,” and that may have been her tone. That being said, I don’t know why the fuck XOJane doesn’t hire copy editors. I lost my mind when I read an article by someone who proclaimed to be a “grammar person” in her writer profile, and then wrote about “a picture taken of my brother and I.” By writing that? No ma’am, you absolutely cannot talk about a love of grammar. Unless by “love” you mean “complete misuse of.”

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    • maria Says:

      Well, i mean. She lives in Williamsburg. How could she NOT be insufferable? Semi-joking here.

      you shouldn’t be semi joking you should be serious! this chick is an obnoxious wannabe hipster. the really shitty kind that think williamsburg is all of brooklyn. i H-A-T-E those types of people. this girl went out on a date with a “republican” purely to get into a political debate with him. end of story. she knew what she was doing going into the date. I have never once spoken about politics on a first date. its rude and its awkward.

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  3. fuzzilla Says:

    I have a good feeling* about these two crazy kids, I bet this’ll be the first song at their wedding:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NfgINK8fDg

    *by which I mean, I don’t

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  4. fuzzilla Says:

    I’ve been to NYC and it seems bloody exhausting to get around, so I can kind of understand, “Hmm, yeah, I’m not so keen on traveling to such-and-such neighborhood for a probable one-and-done date.” Although if you live there, you know that, and no need to be an asshat about it.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

  5. fuzzilla Says:

    Also, if you’re arguing with someone before you’ve even met…maybe just cancel and move on with your life. It’s like – what do you think is gonna happen with such a chip on your shoulder?

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  6. VoiceOfReason Says:

    Because she tries to enlighten this guy (who is, unarguably and factually, incorrect about HIS OWN CITY) she’s somehow insufferable? We all know that if the genders were reversed here, there would be no effing problem.
    Her date sounds like an asshat, and yet she’s somehow worthy of your ridicule?

    Why any woman would submit anything to this site is beyond me. Dating is hard enough without a pervasive and disgusting ‘blame the victim’ mentality.

    This entire operation is AT BEST an offensive, misogynistic farce. At worst, it’s dangerous to women everywhere.

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    • ATWYSingle Says:

      Because she tries to enlighten this guy (who is, unarguably and factually, incorrect about HIS OWN CITY) she’s somehow insufferable?

      No, she’s insufferable because she couldn’t just bite her tongue and suck it up for an hour. In the grand scheme of things, who cares if she doesn’t have his directions straight? Why is this such an arguable offense that requires that he concede to her point?

      We all know that if the genders were reversed here, there would be no effing problem.

      We do? Who’s we? If we’re going to play that game, then “we” all know that if the gender roles were reversed, a lot of women would be calling him an arrogant know it all. Go read the comments on The article. Are the HUNDREDS of women telling her she was wrong misogynists, too?

      Dating is hard enough without a pervasive and disgusting ‘blame the victim’ mentality.

      This isn’t a story about abuse or rape. Those are victims. Nothing discussed here even veers towards that territory. Don’t conflate actual trauma with a bad first date. You only embarrass yourself. This nit wit isn’t a victim of anything other than her own lack of self-awareness and entitlement.

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      • VoiceOfReason Says:

        If its your notion that a good date requires ‘biting your tongue’ and ‘sucking it up’ when someone says something idiotic then I think we’re all just a little bit stupider for it.

        This applies to any man, woman, person.

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        • SS Says:

          Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 0

        • ATWYSingle Says:

          If its your notion that a good date requires ‘biting your tongue’ and ‘sucking it up’ when someone says something idiotic

          But…he didn’t say something idiotic. He made a simple mistake. And according to a few people in the comments over there and one here, all who actually know how to read a map, he wasn’t even wrong depending on the route she took. If anything, she was the one to reveal her ignorance by insisting she was right.

          If you feel the need to correct someone on picayune things that don’t matter and continue to harp on them, then you’re insufferable.

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        • maria Says:

          she’s insufferable because its obvious she was looking for a fight. there is no misogyny here. people like you abuse that term and make it mean nothing. some snotty bratty wanna be hipster who lives in williamsburg fighting with somebody over something she isn’t even really correct about is rude, obnoxious and insufferable. When you meet somebody new, whether its a date, a coworker, a new friend etc you should be polite and non combative. she went into the date combative and hell and with a snotty “I am better than you” attitude that is easy to see. this is the type of person who think williamsburg is the end all be all

          i was born and raised in Brooklyn and you can’t say with certainty that “all of Brooklyn” is dead east of Manhattan. you can say this about queens yes but Brooklyn, besides the very northern part like williamsburg and greenpoint is technically SOUTH of Manhattan. and, depending on which subway you are taking, west may truly be more convenient. she was being bitchy, bratty and worst of all she’s is wrong.

          don’t even get me started on her purposely starting a conversation about politics so she can have somebody to fight with. you have such a problem with a republican, then don’t date them. especially if you can’t be polite and talk about other things for a couple of hours on a first date.

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          • SS Says:

            Exactly – isn’t one supposed to avoid politics and religion on the first date?

            She *wanted* a fight.

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            • maria Says:

              absolutely. talking about these topics off the bat is a no-no. especially when you already know that the other person does not share your views. you are doing it for one reason alone, to pick a fight. there are also respectful ways to disagree with somebody’s politics. I understand how important views are, but talking about them on a first date is not necessary and will only cause trouble.

              I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months and we only really started talking about our views a few months in–granted we knew generally that we were both not super passionate about politics and both were on a similar wavelength about social issues like abortion, reproductive rights etc. i do not expect that we are going to agree with everything and he does have some views that I don’t share, but everybody isn’t either a far left liberal or ultra christian conservative republican either.

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      • VoiceOfReason Says:

        blame the victim is a framework for understanding how we treat others and make attributions about the world and human relationships.

        it does not just apply to rape.

        Interesting that you Went There, though.

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        • fuzzilla Says:

          How exactly did he treat her poorly? Provide specific examples of his behavior, please.

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          • VoiceOfReason Says:

            I didn’t say that he treated her poorly.

            What I read is that he balked at changing venues, despite offering it first. Showed up ready for a fight (i.e. starting right in with the location thing), would not drop the issue even when presented with sound evidence that he was wrong, and then called this woman naive.

            This is just one side of the story, of course, but if we’re to believe this is how it went down, it says argumentative, stubborn, and name-calling.

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            • fuzzilla Says:

              **Showed up ready for a fight (i.e. starting right in with the location thing),**

              “So you came from the east?” doesn’t really sound like picking a fight to me. It sounds like pretty standard small talk, like, “How was traffic?”, “Have trouble finding the place?” etc.

              And yes, according to the map, Brooklyn is south of, and part of it juts west of, Manhattan. Maybe he’s familiar with that part.

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            • maria Says:

              besides the fact that she was wrong. brooklyn is NOT TO THE EAST. parts are. yes. queens is, yes. most of brooklyn is to the SOUTH.

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          • fuzzilla Says:

            OK, so they argued politics, but she knew he had different views and stirred the pot.

            I don’t think different politics necessarily mean you’re incompatible. It certainly can, and that’s okay, but she shouldn’t have gone on the date if she went in expecting him to be an asshole, arguing asinine bullshit about geography (did they both find the agreed-upon location? Yes? End scene).

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          • SS Says:

            We’re expected to believe that a very successful VP in a major firm started screaming at her in a public place.

            It was right at that point that I decided she was a liar. An argumentative offensive liar.

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            • VoiceOfReason Says:

              Because successful people never yell at others?

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              • SS Says:

                I’ve worked closely with C-level executives for over 15 years – at numerous large corporations (PwC, EY, WPP) both in the UK and US.

                I can count on one hand those that have yelled – it was always in a rarefied situation and only with people they knew incredibly well.

                I have yet to meet one that screams at strangers in public places.

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        • ATWYSingle Says:

          But…in what way did he treat her that made her a victim? Can you explain that or nah?

          And, yes, I went “there” because you perceived this scenario to have a victim/abuser dynamic when it didn’t. You also completely glossed over her bad behavior because it didn’t align with your narrative.

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          • VoiceOfReason Says:

            My evidence is above and i’m not saying this woman is faultless, but the way you string her up and tear her apart without acknowledging the fault of the man- and suggest that she’s SINGLE because she won’t PUT UP with bad behavior- is laughable

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            • DrivingMeNutes Says:

              Finally, reason prevails over truth!

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            • ATWYSingle Says:

              Read this line of the post again:

              The rest is just a recap of their tedious contrived argument about politics that she included just to demonstrate how knowledgeable she is and how unreasonable he is. Yawn. You’re both fucking insufferable.

              So, I did acknowledge that he was insufferable, too. If he ran to the internet to deconstruct his date, then I would have focused on his behavior. But he didn’t. Unfortunately for this author, she immediately became an unreliable narrator when she a) insisted she was right about the direction when she wasn’t and belabored the point and b)presented herself as argumentative and entitled. Therefore, I’m not really sure anything she said about his behavior is true. I don’t trust her perspective because she gave me reason not to. As others said, I don’t believe her date went down the way she said it did. I think, like many other writers, she distorted the story a wee bit just to get praise for her “bravery.”

              Trust me, if guys lined up to sacrifice themselves to the altar of xoJane or The Frisky to talk about their dates, I’d rip them a new one too. In fact, the few that have written for those sites have also been subjects of my posts. But this seems to be something women have the monopoly on, and so that’s why it seems like I only focus on the women. Of course, there are the HUNDREDS of letters I respond to calling out men, but why bother with any of that?

              There’s bad behavior and then there’s run of the mill cluelessness. Screwing up a direction is cluelessness. He didn’t treat her poorly. Having opposing political viewpoints (no matter how sketchy) and voicing them when provoked is not “treating someone poorly.” The author clearly antagonized the guy into arguments more than once. She was so busy trying to prove how smart and politically conscious she was that she developed a blindspot for how HORRIBLE she came across. That, too, is a sign of someone dramatically lacking self-awareness.

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        • Nicki Says:

          Blame the victim???? WHAT is she the victim of????

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      What is she a victim of?

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    • SS Says:

      1. The map she provided shows that at least half of Brooklyn is west of the most easterly part of Manhattan. I think he was right in saying South.

      2. Genders reversed? No. She deliberately goaded him and was offensive in the process. In those circumstances it would be surprising that someone didn’t react in a hostile manner!

      3. Sorry that it’s beyond you. I’m bemused that you seek to attack something you have admitted to not understanding. Is this an approach that generally works for you?

      4. BWAAAHHHAHAHhhhaaaahhhaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!

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    • Isambard Says:

      I think one of the funniest things about this is he’s correct:

      “Well it’s really not 100% east,”.

      Since Manhattan does not run true north/south and since Brooklyn and Manhattan are offset. THE MAJORITY OF BROOKLYN IS SOUTH OF MANHATTAN.

      Don’t go by the subway map. It’s crooked. :-P

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      • DrivingMeNutes Says:

        This is the dumbest comment ever. Everyone who lives in Manhattan knows there is a powerful magnetic force from ithe Schist which makes compasses go completely haywire and renders them useless. Our forefathers thus created special unique directional signals to orient manhattanites: we have uptown, downtown “east side” (not technically east) and “wes’side” which I’m not sure the origin of. There’s also “TriBeCa” which is exempted from these categories since it’s largely inaccessible. Everyone who’s “really” from Manhattan knows this. That’s why it’s best to avoid dating people from Brooklyn. Especially bayridge. I mean, come on

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        • Isambard Says:

          Well! I stand corrected. Thank you for the clarification. You’re not full of schist are you?

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  7. SS Says:

    My jaw literally dropped a quarter of the way through, and stayed dropped.

    What an imperious belligerent bitch. Seriously. (HA, Thesaurus! lol)

    How he didn’t cut and run when she started the east nonsense is beyond me.

    FWIW I am pretty staunchly against the R-team, mainly because in my state they are one of the most backwards about gay marriage and women’s rights which are both non-negotiable for me.

    I went on a couple of dates with a guy in the Governor’s PR department – with some reservations lol.

    On our second date he told me he had serious concerns about me because I’d stated on my profile that I was “spiritual but not religious” (he was mega Christian of course) and I’d put some non committal answer about politics (basically because I think they are all megalomaniac liars). I smiled sweetly and said something like “oh really?” and then let him blather on for ages about his views and why everyone should believe exactly as he did.

    I have a huge surprise for you – are you sitting down? There was no third date!!! *shocker* lol

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  8. Fyodor Says:

    The east-west median point of Manhattan isn’t really west of the east-west median point of Brooklyn.

    https://www.google.com/maps/place/Brooklyn,+NY/@40.6955013,-73.9336679,12z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x89c24416947c2109:0x82765c7404007886

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  9. D. Says:

    Well, we can be pretty certain that she knew he was a Republican from his profile. It was either implied or explicitly stated there. How can we be sure? Because she said she knew he was before she met him, and that’s not something that comes up in polite chitchat or text pre-date. So, right off the bat, she knew what she was getting herself into. So…why’d she go?

    1. She saw he was cute, and thought he made bank, so she figured she’d “relax” her dealbreaker. Oh, and we can tell that him being Republican is a dealbreaker (or at least should be), based on the argument she had with him. Oh, wait, sorry. I should be more precise. The political argument she had with him. You don’t get into screaming matches with people about politics if politics isn’t a dealbreaker for you.

    2. She knew it was a dealbreaker, but figured “I can totally write about this. This is gonna make for an awesome bad date story that I can sell.” And sure enough, it was an awful date. Also, an awful story that makes her come across as a combative pain in the ass. But more on that in a second.

    3. She’s either generally combative by nature, or she was in one of those phases where you’re already frustrated by the process of dating, and are simultaneously spoiling for a fight and grasping at any thin sliver of attraction to keep you going. Lucky her, she got to be both attracted to the guy and have a stupid fight.

    So, why do I say she’s combative? Because the way she writes it — which, let’s remember, is probably the most favorable version for her possible — she makes him sound like, at least initially, he’s just making small talk and she decides to be a shitty know-it-all.

    So, right from the start, even before they meet, she’s argumentative with him. And if the roles had been reversed, if he’d started off the way she did, I guarantee she’d have written an article about the asshole who just had to be right about Brooklyn geography, and who then goaded her into a political fight and stormed out like a dick, not bothering to pay his part of the check, either.

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    • Yvonne Says:

      It doesn’t say anywhere that I can recall that they met online. If they did, this is a good example of how a phone conversation can save you from a lousy first date.

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      • E-B Says:

        If they didn’t meet online, how could she know he was a republican before even meeting him?

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        • D. Says:

          Bingo. It’s true that the article didn’t say, but it’s pretty reasonable to assume that’s what happened. There are other possible explanations, but put simply, she knew three things right up front: He was cute, he worked in finance, and he was a Republican.

          So, regardless of how she came by the information, the rest of the observations stand.

          That said, this is, indeed, something that an initial phone call, or really just some common sense and knowledge of self can come in handy.

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          • Yvonne Says:

            Yes, probably was an online date, but also something you could learn if you were fixed up a friend.

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            • E-B Says:

              “I want to introduce you to a guy who is a republican” said no one ever.

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              • Yvonne Says:

                Of course, no one would put it exactly that way, but they might say, “He’s a great guy, cute, works in finance. Only thing is, he’s kind of conservative”.

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                • Yvonne Says:

                  Point being, though, if you’re a little uncertain about someone, a phone conversation could enlighten you, without the time and expense of going on an actual date.

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              • B to the G Says:

                I love how intolerant liberals and leftists are about politics, and dating people who disagree with them politically.

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  10. Lilypad Says:

    Whenever I’ve been on any early date (1-8ish) and there was an opportunity to bicker in such a way…both of us got super awkward about it and changed the topic. I couldn’t imagine actually pulling out my phone to prove someone wrong ever, let alone on a first date! Whether male or female, that is just bad manners. Imagine a dude doing that?? We’d also think he was an asshole.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  11. Speed Says:

    I guess this date had multiple issues. Based on the woman’s story, both she and the man seemed stubborn and combative. Neither one wanted to let even minor issues, like the “geography” issue pass. Then one, or the other or both plunged into a political topic on the first date. That’s a big no-no. Even if you are members of the same party or political philosophy, it’s unlikely you will agree 100% on every issue down the line. You don’t have any clones on this planet. So it’s best to just avoid very sensitive topics on the first date.

    I don’t see why anyone would deliberately seek battle as this woman apparently did. I also have to blame the man, too, though. If his date was being deliberately provocative and combative, it would have been best to just invent a reason (text from work!) to wrap up the date early. The guy wasted his own time by responding to her provocation and getting into a verbal slugfest with her.

    The first date, at minimum, calls for courtesy, tact, positive mood and a search for any shared interests and chemistry. Search for any areas of commonality, not conflict. If you find that you don’t share much and/or there is no real attraction, then just don’t go on a second date. Don’t try to proselytize or “school” your date on “how the world really is.” Life is already stressful enough. Try to at least enjoy your dates.

    I want to believe this is just common sense, although maybe that’s just my own bias.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 1

    • S.D Says:

      That’s what I was thinking too! She sounds like a nightmare from the first text- if I were a guy I would have bailed immediately.

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  12. Kurt Says:

    The author sounds like a awful woman! Even if this guy had been a Democrat, I bet he wouldn’t have liked her. She’s very judgmental and I have no doubt that she’s not nearly attractive enough to have such a crappy attitude.

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    • S.D Says:

      Actually- I looked her up. Her personality is awful, but physically, she’s very good-looking.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

  13. Yvonne Says:

    I blame all the dating advisers out there who tell people (especially women) to “date against type”. If you’re a liberal and you can’t fathom dating a political conservative, that’s your right. Move it along.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  14. Astrid Says:

    She came off as petty, arrogant, and clueless. Didn’t anyone ever tell her that manners cost nothing? Anyone who harps on insignificant things like this just to prove how superior they are better stock up on some of that wine for cats, cause that’s the only date they’ll have for the foreseeable future.

    This dude didn’t even have a chance to be a bad date because she was too busy spouting stupid shit and being rude. I love the “spoiler alert” at the end – yeah, you know she didn’t say a damn thing. Ha!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

  15. Rebecca Says:

    “Most Americans are vastly uneducated as far as how politics and the economy work.”

    This is the funniest thing she said. Her only political points of reference are Obamacare, drones, Sarah Palin, WMD’s, and The Iraq War. What she knows of politics depends on whatever is a Hot Topic on The View. That makes her no better than the people who watch Fox News. All she’s doing is quoting what she’s heard on the news. She’s no more politically conscious than he is.

    “Um, yeah I did. Because Brooklyn is east,” I responded incredulously.
    “Oh, like the liberal news sources don’t exaggerate?” he said testily.
    “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s get a drink,” I replied irritably.
    “Omigod, this is like the most ridiculous conversation,” I said matter-of-factly.

    One of my pet peeves is when a writer tells an emotion rather than shows it. It’s the hallmark of a lazy writer.

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      **One of my pet peeves is when a writer tells an emotion rather than shows it. It’s the hallmark of a lazy writer.**

      Yeah, and it reduces credibility by forcing you to rely on an unreliable narrator’s p.o.v. Like, if he really “implored” her about coming from the east, then how did that manifest in his behavior? Say, “he talked to me like I was a 2-year-old; he and his shit-eating grin were so loud that people in the crowded bar turned and gave him funny looks, etc.” Oh, he didn’t do that, because that didn’t happen? *eyeroll*

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  16. E-B Says:

    When normal people go on a date, they try to find areas of common interest. She accepted the date already pissed off at the guy and was looking for reasons to put him down. He’s got issues too (although all we know about him is from a biased source), but what is the point of trying to meet people if you are just looking for a confrontation?
    But this is not new for this writer. Just check out this gem, where she dates a “scruffy” guy and complains about his odor:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-khona/dating-disaster-he-smelled-like-hot-garbage_b_6878240.html

    There is something wrong with someone who gets off writing about bad dates. Seriously, what is up with that?

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    • ATWYSingle Says:

      I knew I recognized her name and did a search through my email. Turns out I’ve written about this woman before.

      http://andthatswhyyouresingle.com/2012/01/27/guest-post-dating-anxiety/

      She outed the guy in her story by posting an exact quote from a bipolar forum where he posted. She also wrote about her ex-boyfriend’s sexual abuse and got called out for outing him, too. She’s made a career out of shitting on dudes for back pats. She’s been doing this for years.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1

      • D. Says:

        The thing about these wannabe-Carrie-Bradshaw/Candace-Bushnells is that they basically all offer the exact same thing. It’s all just…recounting dates. I went on a “hilariously” bad date. I went on a date with an asshole and stood up to him. I went on a series of pretty good dates with a guy but it didn’t work out.

        So what?

        There’s nothing more than just reiterating what happened. There’s no insight, no suggestions on how to handle this or that situation, nothing. Just “OMG, I went on blah blah blah date.”

        I get that there’s a small-ish audience for it, but I can’t imagine that this approach is going to last much longer when it seems like there are so many people doing it, and all of them are doing it the same way.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

        • UESider Says:

          You’re right of course. They are all living the Sex in the City dream…except for having sex and finding Mr Big.

          Reality is that about 95% of the things in these stories never really happened. What I think happened is she went on a date with a Republican, she was “sassy”, the guy never called her back so she decided to make up a story about him that would make her look like she rejected him.

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      • E-B Says:

        I just read that article and… wow. How can you top this:
        “I realized someone who is mentally unstable with no desire to change is not going to do so no matter how fabulous you are.”

        How can someone write with such narcissism, callousness, and ignorance? Making fun of people with mental disorders is about as classy as making fun of someone with physical limitations. What is next for Rachel, dating a guy in a wheelchair and then bitching that he can’t walk up to her apartment?

        And where does she get off saying she is “fabulous”? She did NOTHING to help the guy she was dating, and then she wonders why he won’t turn into her handsome prince? It is just more narcissism from someone dripping with it.

        This bitch may complain about republicans, but she is uncaring, ignorant, and stuck up, which is exactly what she accusing them of being. What a hypocrite.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  17. Mel Says:

    She used “incredulously” correctly, but you’re right about “implored.” And this is a pet peeve of mine, but it’s “deep seated,” not “deep seeded.”

    They both seem annoying and parts of her story feel made-up.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  18. Mark Says:

    First a disclaimer. I did not to to the original source. so I’m relying only on the information Moxie posted.

    Having said that, Does this woman really want to meet this guy? Moxie alluded to this when she stated she could reply that Nomand would be a great idea. She could simply take it from there. No big deal. No need to build up and tear down. Are you interested in meeting or not?

    Sorry, but my impression is that this is a stunt in an attempt to create interest in people who may be reading her dating escapades. I may be wrong, I accept that. But my feeling is that if you are legitimate about meeting people, you don’t have to go through these mental gymnastics that this woman seems to want to go through. At least as shown by this particular incident.

    Note: Nomand is really a great place. Then again, almost any place is a good place if two people are seriously looking for a first meet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

    • Lucy Says:

      I agree. It seems like a stunt to me. Why else would you go on a date with someone with such contrasting political views to you? Not that I think your date’s views should completely match yours by the way.

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