Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): Sally
Comment: So recently I started talking to this guy I had met thru social media. When we first met he would text me one day then not reply for days. I thought that was strange so finally he admitted to me that he had a girlfriend but it wasnt working out. When we finally met in person he explained she broke up with him but he was ready to move on. I took him out several times, paid for EVERYTHING, every time. Took him to work & ect. I even helped buy him a new phone. I thought everything was okay. The more i spoke to him the more distant he became. I went to his parents house were he lives to see him. He was rude from the minute i walked in. We went to his room and i felt the tension and uncomfortable anger. He wanted to have sex with me but i declined . He got mad kicked me out and then texted me cursing me out saying he never wanted me he loves his ex that i have issues and that he never wants to see or hear from me again and that he never really wanted to have sex with
me. I was just wondering were did i go wrong ?
Well, the first mistake you made was continuing to communicate with a guy once he told you he had a girlfriend. That was the first sign that this guy wasn’t terribly honorable.
Based on the details in your letter, I don’t think you did anything wrong, per se. You got involved with a guy who had a girlfriend and he fed you some line about things weren’t working or how he wasn’t happy or whatever and you believed him. It happens. It doesn’t sound like this guy had any real intentions toward you other than to use you. That’s probably why his ex dumped him. I’ll be he pulled the same crap with her. You didn’t give the baby what he wanted so now he’s going to sit in the middle of then floor and kick his feet and cry. Good. Let him. I hope he turns blue.
For future reference DO NOT – under any circumstances – stay with a guy who lets you pay for everything. That works both ways, mind you. Nobody should stick around and continue to date a person who does not in any way contribute financially. I don’t care what reasoning they give, either.
Usually he pays for everything until we’re exclusive.
Men have been paying for everything for years! Why shouldn’t a woman have to do it?
Because, wage gap!! Because, feminism!!!
So fucking wrong.
You want to let one, maybe two, dates go where he or she pays the way? Um, okay. That’s still not ideal, but whatever. But beyond that? If they aren’t offering to help cover expenses by the third or fourth date, kick that leech to the curb.
No person with an ounce of character lets someone chauffeur them around and buy them things like this. This guy was a spoiled baby who still lived with Mommy and Daddy who expected the world to carry him like his parents have.
I’m sure there will be people here who try to coach you on developing better self-esteem. They’re not wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever stay in a situation where you’re not being respected. This guy did not appreciate what you were doing for him. In fact, he didn’t care about you at all. Want to know the biggest clue that leads me to that assumption? He told you he had a girlfriend. That’s not honesty that should be rewarded. If he truly cared, he would have at least tried to keep that information from you.
This guy saw one gravy train coming to an end and was setting up his next one by getting with you. Simple as that.
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