The abbreviated version would be no different than reading the full post. She fell down and went boom playing softball and got bruises, then The Big Easy allegedly sent her a text to ask if she wanted back the bong she left at his place. The End.
Immediately after the collision, I felt alright (and of course, my teammates rallied around me), but I spent the next day nursing what I’m pretty sure was my first-ever concussion along with an assortment of colorful contusions, most notably on my thigh and chin… And of course, who is possibly going to be interested in a casual cup of coffee with a Tinder match boasting bruises over most of her body, including her face? I can’t even conceive of how I might arrange a little quality time with BB King. I’m too sore for any possible position.
This is just another excuse for why she’s not dating. First her Tinder broke for a month. Now she apparently is covered with bruises from a fall during softball and can’t go on a date. I will once more harken back to my days playing softball and instances where I took line drives to the face and slammed into basemen and say..uh, bullshit. Unless she was T-Boned by a 14 wheeler that was plowing down the baseline in her direction, at best she got a couple scrapes and was sore for a day. She doesn’t want to date or isn’t getting any responses. Period. End of sentence. Please stop with all this manufactured nothing drama.
In the hasty division of our belongings, it turns out that I left a personal item of some sentimental value in his apartment, and during one of our final conversations, he’d told me that he liked it and planned to keep it. I thought that was awfully presumptuous of him, but having just lost a pet and a relationship, I figured, “what’s one more thing?” and didn’t press the issue.
First, who the fuck travels with their bong anywhere? Second, just stick it in the mail and be done with it.
I want to see him. I miss him. But it’s impossible for me to imagine that either of us is willing to give enough ground for us to ever work out as a couple in the long run. I’m mentally preparing for a thousand conversations, and we might not have any of them. It’s exhausting (and I’m pretty sure it’s aggravating these pesky concussion symptoms).
Didn’t she just say last week that she thought he was creepy? Am I the only one thinking this the bong thing (as well as BBKing) is all just made up because she needs to have something to write about?
Speaking of BBKing, no follow up on him and their sexy texting sexy time escapades because, as is the case with this snoozefest, she doesn’t bother writing about the stuff people actually want to hear about. Instead she drones on and on about softball and her sads.
This girl so very clearly does not want a relationship and is ambivalent about dating. She’s been writing in circles for weeks now with no clear direction or focus.I don’t know what her issues are or from where they stem, but I do feel comfortable saying she is the absolutely last person who should be writing a dating column.
Once more with feeling: