Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): Ash
Comment: Known this guy a few years and finally gave him a chance. A month into dating I notice he flirts and keeps in contact with all his female friends. Mind you he made me his gf after our first date. We didn’t sleep together until a month or so after. We break up because I get tired of the texting other girls and flirty conversations and he says they’re just friends. Anyways we decide we will try to work it out and he will stop making me feel insecure and he leaves for a boys trip. I found be out after there was also females there on the camping trip and they’re just friends once again. He comes back and we are intimate. Next morning I find someone else’s underwear next to bed slightly under. I’m done… I don’t talk to him for months after and ignore him. A month ago I see him and he hands me a card before he leaves town for two weeks. It says I love you … I don’t talk to Him and ask for space … Now we have spoken and he says he is very sorry and loves me and wants to work on us. He’s finally moving out of his place w his roommate into his own. He was honest about all the women he’s slept with or so I think. I love him too and I’ve never said it out loud but when we are together we are happy and get along.. It’s when we are apart it’s war. Throughout this time he asked me to move in months ago and I said no. I’m confused … Should I just cut him lose for good or is this 35 year old going to act better towards me and stop living this wild Hollywood life. I lived it but I’m past it just not sure if he will be a better man to me this time around.
Mind you he made me his gf after our first date. We didn’t sleep together until a month or so after.
That’s really all I need to know. Here’s why he made you his “girlfriend” after one date: so, when you caught him flirting and texting with other women and going off on camping trips with other women, he could say to you,”But, baby, you’re the one I love. Those girls? I just flirt with them. I made you my girlfriend on the first date – before we had sex – that’s how much I care for you. You’re different.”
You’re not different. If there is one thing I’ve learned in my travails across the Manhattan dating scene it’s that the minute you think you’re different than his ex or any of the other women he might date, you’re screwed. When you find yourself looking at or comparing yourself to other women and convincing yourself you’re different, that should be a warning to you that you don’t feel secure in your relationship. If many men know one way to make some women’s ears prick up, it’s to pit us against another woman.
Anyways we decide we will try to work it out and he will stop making me feel insecure and he leaves for a boys trip. I found be out after there was also females there on the camping trip and they’re just friends once again.
Okay, really? Do you really need me to tell you this guy is a bag of shit? This guy wants his cake and wants to eat it, too. He desires the benefits of the relationship but doesn’t have any plans to let go of his swinging single life. That’s why he made you his girlfriend after one date. Ash, trust me, this guy has this act down pat. He’s done it before.
He was honest about all the women he’s slept with or so I think.
Ahhhh. Total honesty. That’s another way people like this try to bamboozle their victims. “But, baby, I was totally upfront with you about all the women I nailed behind your back. Would I do that if I weren’t serious?”
Yes. Yes he would. Why? Because guys like this know that a lot of women confuse total honesty with sincerity.
This guy is a manipulator. I say give him a hard pass.
One on One Dating Profile Review
Get a 45 minute one on one review of your profile with me. I’ll go over your picture selection and ad text and let you know if your profile includes any buzz words or red flags. I’ll also help you tweak/write your profile if it needs some freshening up.
$55 – INCLUDES:
- *Profile analysis (45 minute phone session.)
- *Assistance with editing and re-writes.
- *Photo selection and review.
- *Feedback about specific issues and experiences.
- *Site selections and Pros & Cons of the more popular dating sites.
- *Overview of online dating basics – how to write intro messages, how to draw more attention to your profile, how to sort your searches so you can see profiles you might be missing.
$55 (Use code BLOG to save $10)