The #1 Sign You’ve Met A Player

first-day-a-player-or-keeper

 

Name: Nicole
:
Question: ok, so I met this guy on 03/26/16.. I was out with a couple of friends of mine and on the way home he caught my attention at a stop light.. he seemed decent so I didn’t mind exchanging numbers.. on that Sunday afternoon I was extremely bored and decided to shoot him a text. that text turned into a conversation at Starbucks a hour later.. really sweet guy I must say.. we hit it off good, he gave a good first impression and I could tell he play no games which is a plus for me.. anyhow, we continued to speak afterwards, nothing heavy just casual conversation.. I wanted to see batman v superman so he offered to take me.. that night went well too! again great conversation, good vibes and he seemed more attractive to me that night.. moving along, I wasnt ready to go home yet so we went to his place (he live two blocks away from me).. we watched a episode of OJ Simpson and just chilled.. we then had sex (i was extremely horny) and then I was ready to go home so he took me home..
good night that night but then came on the heavy.. at this moment, im really not seeing anyone on a serious note, my hotline isnt jumping at all and im kinda OK with that.. what I thought was going to be just a casual fling seems to be turning into more.. anyway its been three weeks now and we’ve already talked about moving in together (his suggestion) having another baby (again his want) mind you he has two boys ages 6 and 3 I have one boy age 6, and he wants to be together.. Just a month ago I actually prayed that someone who want commitment came my way but my question now is if this is the right type of commitment.. its’s happening so fast!!.. do I feel bad about it? NO but it’s only natural for me to be cautious of the situation because there are children involved.. what do I do? should I proceed? should I slow things down? Im just afraid of making the wrong decision and having a possibly good thing lost.
Age: 25

 

Here’s my question: where was all this concern when this guy picked you up while you were stopped at a traffic light? I mean, we’ve seen that happen in movies but how often does it a) ever actually happen and b) even turn into something worthwhile? Like you said, you have a child. What are you doing giving your number out to dudes you meet on the street?

we hit it off good, he gave a good first impression and I could tell he play no games which is a plus for me.

So, after a whole hour or two you determined that this man WHO PICKED YOU UP AT A STOP LIGHT doesn’t play games? Okay. Let’s go with that for a minute. How do you know this? What transpired during this dream date that you were able to decide definitely he doesn’t play games? Really ask yourself that question. If you can’t come up with anything but, “He was totally honest with me” or “He just seemed really straightforward” I’m going to politely suggest that you get your head examined.  You haven’t the first clue about this man’s character. None. Zippo.

I wanted to see batman v superman so he offered to take me.. that night went well too! again great conversation, good vibes and he seemed more attractive to me that night.. moving along, I wasnt ready to go home yet so we went to his place (he live two blocks away from me).. we watched a episode of OJ Simpson and just chilled.. we then had sex (i was extremely horny) and then I was ready to go home so he took me home..

So this stranger with two kids just happened to be available that afternoon until late in the evening? Huh. Did he call to check in on his children at all, or nah? And why are you justifying why you had sex with him? You don’t need to do that. You wanted to have sex so you had sex. No need to qualify your admission. You’re an adult. You’re allowed to have sex.

anyway its been three weeks now and we’ve already talked about moving in together (his suggestion) having another baby (again his want) mind you he has two boys ages 6 and 3 I have one boy age 6, and he wants to be together..

Yeah, you know who wants to rush down the aisle and put a baby in a woman super fast? Somebody with an agenda, a plan. Normal, stable, mature people with their lives together don’t just jump to, “Let’s have a baby!” No. That’s not a thing. In fact, it’s never been a thing. This guy is in a rush for a reason, Nicole., and it ain’t twu wuv. Nobody risks their financial future or the safety and happiness of their children on a person they’ve barely known a month.Let me guess…you haven’t even met his kids yet, have you?

What is very telling about his light speed approach is that after 3 weeks he appears to have suggested moving in and having a baby…but not marriage. Hmmm. Now, why is that? Maybe because he doesn’t want there to be anything legally binding to force him to stick around?

Nicole, this guy is a deadbeat looking to scam some lonely single mother into something. Run far away.

Thoughts?

AndThatsWhyYoureSingle.com

Sometimes the love of your life is the love of your life. (R)

@ATWYSingle

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10 Responses to “The #1 Sign You’ve Met A Player”

  1. Dave Says:

    For a second I thought I was watching the Dr. Phil show. :)

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 1

    • TL Says:

      She’s 25 and has a 6 & 3 year old. This woman doesn’t have a track record of making good life decisions.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 5

      • Yvonne Says:

        The guy has a 6 and 3 year old. She has a 6 year old. Still, I’d have to agree about her decision-making.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  2. BTownGirl Says:

    This dude reminds me of the women that hang around hotel lobbies during NBA All Star Weekend. Who is trying to have a baby with a stranger? Make tracks, girl.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 2

  3. TL Says:

    I agree with everything you said…except the stoplight. People meet in all sorts of crazy ways, and it is actually refreshing when people meet “organically” (and not online) these days.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 17 Thumb down 18

  4. jaclyn Says:

    Have you met his kids? You can’t move in with a guy until you’ve met his kids, and established a decent relationship with them. And he’s a total lunatic if he is introducing a woman he’s been dating for 3 weeks to his kids. This man is a parent whose relationship with his children’s mother fell apart – he should understand how devastating that is to children, and make sure that he chooses his next baby mother carefully and knows her character well. No sane parent would discuss having more kids with someone after only 3 weeks in anything more than a theoretical “yes, I might eventually be willing to have more children” way or “no, I’m sure I’m done.” You’d have three kids between you already – that’s a huge handful, plus you have no idea how your kids would get along. This is utter insanity, and I’m sad to see two parents behaving this way since the children you have now should be your priority.

    Run. Just run.

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  5. Joan Says:

    I think I already saw this movie.
    Anyway…
    From a single mother to another single mother.
    1. You have to give yourself more time to really know this guy. You don’t know if your kid will get along or not with him and vice versa. Your child is only 6 years old. Have you thought about his kids getting along with you? Would the kids like each other? Would get along? Because, whether you like it or not, how kids interact with other people they don’t know or are not used to interact, affects our relationships.
    2. Have you thought about the finances of the “new family” ? He is asking for more kids, meaning, you will be responsible, not only for one but for FOUR kids! And believe me, that is not an easy thing to do. Talking from experience here, I have two boys, but I am also raising my two nephews. I am full time mother for the 4 of them. Financially speaking, it is a challenge and when it comes to personal time, I have from very little to none. And you, starting a new relationship with all these responsibilities is crazy to even think about a new family.
    I agree with Moxie 100%. This guy is hiding something, has a hidden agenda.
    To me, the “let’s have a kid together” is a bait, maybe he needs to reduce his bills to pay for child support. Having a roommate, will cut his expenses in half, if not more.
    My advice, if you think you are living a dreamy fairy tale and that you have met your prince charming, sorry to tell you Cinderella but, there is not such of thing.
    I said it once here… men fake love to get sex and women fake sex to get love… ( I know, so profound ☺) But is true.

    You are a single mom, sorry, but you need to put your kid first, his safety and his well being. Your needs are not a priority.
    You can have sex, whenever you want and can, just make sure you don’t jeopardize yourself nor your kid.
    Mija, think with your head not with your vagina.
    Just my cinco centavos….

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      I always think it’s so odd when people write in and say they have kids but then don’t mention anything about the actual realities of having kids (time constraints, the kids’ personalities and opinions, *how the kid gets along with the boyfriend/girlfriend and if they have actually even met*, etc.). Some people are way more into their dogs than other people are into their human children.

      Even taking the kids out of it, anyone in such a huge rush has something to hide – they want to rip you off, or they just want to rush ahead before you get a chance to notice crucial character flaws. I had a guy try to rush me into moving in together (*before* formally meeting his kid – um, NO) and I remember saying, “Look, if the thing really has legs, it’ll still have legs a year from now, so…”

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  6. mamajuju Says:

    Run away from this man. I have heard of this sort of thing before.
    I agree with Moxie this man has an agenda and it’s not a very nice one.
    More than likely he is looking to sponge off of you. Or something worse.
    You don’t know anything about him.
    Too much, too soon, too fast.

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  7. Eliza Says:

    wow. People are very trusting and go into things with their eyes wide shut! lol. I wouldn’t even go to this man’s apartment – after some conversation at Starbucks. Why the rush?! Is he on parole or in need of citizenship?! lol Run, Nicole, run fast.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

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