Name: UnReal Name
Question: G’Day Moxie,
Is baby rabies real; or am I just a gormless, egg-wasting bastard who wants his cake?
I’m a 38yo man who has ended my last three relationships (?!, more than randoms, less than significant others) because they asked for more than I wanted to give.
I’d made it clear that I wasn’t after aisles and ankle-biters, and they’ve said they were good with that…but then they’ve inexorably moved towards the “we would make a great husband-wife/child” talk.
I have a kid (they didn’t), so I’ve gotten that out of my system, and I have never been married, and have no interest.
The first two were (reasonably) cool (in an angry-cry, shouty sort of way) but the last went nuclear. This was after a sit-down to demand that I ‘step up or else’, to get proper aggressively unhappy when I ‘elsed’. I didn’t ghost or keep up relations – a simple no thanks and a clean cut for each.
These three women were aged 33-39 and each only lasted 3-7 months. My mates reckon it’s baby rabies, which I s’pose could be, but I’m not sure. And if I knew then it wouldn’t happen, but it is happening so I obviously don’t know.
What do you reckon’s going on? Am I using them by asking too much (or little)?
The whole tone of this letter irritates the fuck out of me. If every woman you’ve dated in the last however long disregards your disclaimer that you aren’t looking for marriage and kids, then you’re the only common denominator. What? Women you date for a significant amount of time want you to commit to them even though you told them you weren’t looking for that? You don’t say! These women aren’t deaf and dumb. They heard you when you said you weren’t looking for marriage or children. But after dating for a few months or longer and engaging in what looks and feels like a serious relationship, OF COURSE they’re going to wonder what the hell your deal is. You sound shocked – shocked, I tell you!- that these women are all imploding. Like, really? It’s news to you that women don’t like to waste their time? Nobody should have to tell you that most – not all! – women in their thirties are looking for something serious.
It’s very easy to blame “baby rabies” (yeesh) and biological clocks, but it’s also just as possible that you’re not as clear about your intentions as you think. That or you’re willfully proceeding down a certain path with women you know damn right well are looking for a long-term commitment.
Here’s a thought: date a single mom instead of a nubile thirty-three year old. Or…OR…date older women who, like you, are past the point of wanting to get hitched and have kids. I would think those two options would significantly lower the chance of you having to deal with these irrational women with bad hearing you keep meeting.
Basically, stop being a shallow misogynistic doucherag who wants to have his cake and eat it too. If this is something that keeps happening to you, then you’re the problem.