Nothing Says Misogynist Like “I’m An Old Fashioned Gentleman”

 

Name: Francis

Question: What do you think about my description?

Don’t be such a prude ladies. Let’s go out and have fun, drinking fun, eating fun, laughing fun, flirty fun, and funny fun. Like my father before me, I am an old fashioned gentleman, and if sense that you are offended by my noble demeanor and become indignant when I push your chair underneath you, stand up when you return from the powder room or sneer at me when I open doors for you, our evening will end abruptly. I am a gentleman not a nice guy beta male that places women on pedestals.

That being said:

My job sucks sometimes, but that’s reality and it’s the last time you will ever hear me talk about work. I enjoy the things that I do for fun, I never apologize for my behavior, and you will never hear me complain about anything…, ever because frankly, I don’t give a damn. I experience happiness on occasion (as most men do), I live in a historical town, most of the folks that were born and raised in this town recognize me as being a member of a great family, and the folks here tolerate my rather “unique” behavior, but despite my intellectual prowess and physical dexterity, I may appear replete with complacency, but I can assure you I am steeped with humility with a slight tinge of narcissism (or maybe it’s the other way around). By the way, EVERYONE posses a genetic proclivity for narcissism; just keep it in check.

I am motivated by incentives, and I would rather lose most fist fights (with other men) than win, because I have a conscience, and furthermore pain is a learning experience, and that’s how men develop a sincere comradarie. By the way, grown men have buddies, not have BFFs.

I prefer mature, classy, conservative women that appreciate the male nature, and I also prefer women that can apprciate the curse of possessing a certain cranial capacity (IQ); sorry ladies, I am super smart, but I will restrain my intellect in spite of my ego during times of leisurely activities, but no free dinners until can I determine your true motivation for wanting to spend time with me because after all, I do enjoy the occasional 4-5 star restaurants.
Age: 49

 

 

 

 

Thoughts?

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Sometimes the love of your life is the love of your life. (R)

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46 Responses to “Nothing Says Misogynist Like “I’m An Old Fashioned Gentleman””

  1. coffeestop Says:

    Pretty amusing. My favs are the ones who demand a woman who is both comfortable in jeans and evening wear. My experience is that the ones who claim to be old fashioned gentlemen are really no different from the Bros looking for hook ups. I live in the south and I avoid, “laid back country boys”, “old fashioned southern gentlemen with Christian values” and really anybody who claims to be “laid back”.

    • Goldie Says:

      Hear, hear! I live in the Midwest and I usually stop reading after “I’m an old fashioned gentleman”, because that never bodes well!

  2. Ann Says:

    Is this for real. He sounds like a total and complete douchecanoe.
    “I never apologize”
    Thanks for letting us know up front that you are clueless and rude.
    And who in the he’ll mentions fist fights in their dating profile?

  3. Missy Says:

    I’d wish this were something you’d made up… But, alas, I know from my online dating fun that you didn’t have to.

  4. fuzzilla Says:

    I don’t expect everyone to be a great writer, but big words used incorrectly or thrown around for no reason is such a turnoff (“replete with complacency”?).

  5. yb Says:

    What an obnoxious profile….I feel icky just reading it.

    – noble demeanor
    – member of a great family
    – unique behavior
    – I don’t give a damn
    – intellectual prowess and physical dexterity
    – genetic proclivity for narcissism

  6. DrivingMeNutes Says:

    “I may appear replete with complacency, but I can assure you I am steeped with humility with a slight tinge of narcissism (or maybe it’s the other way around).”

    Moreover, that time I appeared to clumsily trip over a phantom crack in the sidewalk and cracked my face wide open, I assure you I meant to do that.

  7. jaclyn Says:

    If you had written to me, you would have lost me at your first sentence:

    “Don’t be such a prude ladies.”

    If you like your profile, you can certainly try to use it. If you get no responses (and I’m guessing you will get very few, especially from women who have any other options), I would scrap it completely and start over. If you can’t write a profile that doesn’t make you sound like a douchebag, then hire someone to write it for you.

    • fuzzilla Says:

      I was kind of thinking, “Well, *some* women are conservative Trump voters who *might* buy his Kool-Aid..?” But yeah, who the hell would find “Don’t be a prude, ladies” appealing? It’s like, “Guys, quit being such sneering assholes. Anyhoo, here’s why I’m awesome and you want to date me…”

  8. Nia Says:

    I just…ugh. It’s so bad it’s almost trolling.

    I have never seen or heard of from anyone a story about a woman “sneering” at a man who stands up out of courtesy when she returns from “powdering her nose”. I have heard of women saying or feeling that “chivalry” is thinly disguised sexism, and in this, they have both a right to those feelings and a point.

    Treating women as if they are delicate flowers in need of protection from hearing swear words, the difficulty of opening doors and scootching in their own chairs is problematic because it implies that women need protecting from the world by men; that they can’t think for themselves, protect themselves, or make their own way in the world. It’s the same belief system that led to things like not being able to own property (“that’s too hard for your pretty head to think about”) get jobs, or have their own bank account. And that’s severely problematic.

    Also, who are these “prudes”—could they possibly be old fashioned, classy ladies from good families that would love a “gentleman” to stand upon her return from the powder room?
    Women can contain multitudes, for sure, and the same elegant businesswoman making a presentation at noon can toss back vodka shots at 5 PM. It’s just…not super likely and she certainly won’t respond to “Don’t be such a prude”.
    When you take time out of your profile to lecture an invisible audience about perceived misuse of words or phrases, (“grown men have buddies, not BFFs”–which, for the record, again, I have never heard a man call his friends “BFFs”) you come off like a giant flaming asshole.
    Could this be the same guy that is so scared of “baby rabies”? Distant cousin from the same “good family”? :)

    • Goldie Says:

      Nah. The baby rabies guy was at least occasionally kind of funny, and open-minded enough to question himself, and wonder if he might be doing something wrong. This guy takes himself extremely seriously, and expects others to do the same. That’s the single biggest turnoff in a man for me, BTW.

  9. Allison Says:

    Dear Moxie, the gifs you’ve selected for this post are ON POINT.

  10. Selena Says:

    Among the many creepy things in this self-description, “unique behavior” made me feel like backing away from my screen. Hannibal Cannibal came to mind.

  11. Parenting Says:

    Is this Donald Trump’s profile?

  12. Yvonne Says:

    And that’s why you’re single.

  13. Jesse Says:

    This is a set-up, right? No one could have seriously posted this as their profile

  14. Robyn Says:

    This closing statement had me choking on my coffee:
    “but no free dinners until can I determine your true motivation for wanting to spend time with me”.

    And when that closing statement is paired with the opening statement of
    “Don’t be such a prude ladies.”…. oy vey, oy vey, oy vey.

    This guy does NOT even come close to having the style, class, manners, you name it, that a true gentleman does.

    He might as well have not bothered writing that screed of a profile.
    A single statement of:
    “I wanna get laid as fast as possible without having to open my wallet”
    would have covered it all, dare I say it!

  15. Timothy Horrigan Says:

    How tall is this guy?

  16. BTownGirl Says:

    What the unholy fuck.

  17. The D-man Says:

    I’d be curious to see him run this with some pictures of a hot male model and see if he gets any responses.

  18. Bill Says:

    So, this must be one of the guys who complain that online dating… just… doesn’t … work. Just a wild guess, lol!

  19. Jen Says:

    Tosser!

  20. Nicki Says:

    I don’t know what to say.

    I feel like he wrote it and then grabbed his thesaurus to jazz it up a bit. Maybe he isn’t looking for someone? Maybe he is bored and wants hate mail? It… Bored me. I feel like a date with him would bore me to tears and I would try juggling steak knives at the five star restaurant he had taken me to just to get cut and get out. And I LOVE where he basically says he’ll dumb himself down for these lucky ladies. UGH!!!!

    ^^ Sorry that’s jumbled thoughts but he made my brain melt.

    Moxie, I would love to know your honest opinion on this guy.

  21. KK Says:

    Bragging about cranial prowess? It is “fistfight.” Not fist fight,

    I hope this is a joke.

  22. Borbie Says:

    “I would rather lose most fist fights (with other men)”

    …but always aim to win fistfights with women?

    This writing makes me cringe.

  23. Sarah Says:

    “Don’t be such a prude ladies.”

    Fuck you, I owe you NOTHING.

    “I am super smart.”

    Then edit your profile, if you’re capable. I’d give your writing a C- just so you wouldn’t have to repeat my class and you *probably* wouldn’t be bothered to come to my office hours. Bye.

  24. Yvonne Says:

    Not much worse worse than a complete moron/a-hole who thinks he’s the shit.

  25. Goldie Says:

    Two thoughts off the top of my head…

    1) as a soon-to-be 49-year-old, I want to apologize for this guy on behalf of my generation. We’re not all like that. Most of us are decent people with respect for others. #notallgenx

    2) Mr. Cranial Capacity needs to run his profile through a spellchecker. You can’t blather about your high IQ *and* have spelling and punctuation errors in your profile. Pick one.

  26. fuzzilla Says:

    I’m reminded of a video a Facebook friend shared:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TmscdapDHg

    And seriously, with the throwing around poorly understood thesaurus words…I know I already mentioned it, but I saw that *constantly* on OKCupid. It reeks of “try hard” and tells you nothing of substance about the person. It’s like knowing you’re smeared in shit and dousing your general vicinity with artificial rose air freshener, rather than just taking a shower (i.e., addressing your attitude and issues with women). There’s nothing wrong with simple words chosen well, honest.

  27. No Disrespect Says:

    I am so confused. He doesn’t want a prude, but a “mature, classy, conservative woman?!” I’d recommend he look up the definition of prude and get back to us.

    Maybe he’s just too smart for me. I’ll just toss my PhD in the garbage now.

    • Mandy Says:

      Exactly…along with all the other issues mentioned, the first and last paragraph totally contradict each other.

      And anyone who brags about being smart is 1) not smart, or 2) a total douchebag, or 3) both. Actual smart people don’t need to brag about it because they’re confident in their intelligence.

      • dee Says:

        Yes! Show, don’t tell! For me, it’s always a red flag when someone claims to be funny, smart, charming, or (god forbid) classy in their online dating profile – if you have to say it, doubtful that it’s true.

  28. BostonRobin Says:

    LADIES!

    TBH I knew what was coming with the very first sentence. It just devolved into that spiral of horror. Please tell me this was a troll…

  29. Sarah Says:

    I’ll say this for Francis: He’s not casting a wide net, by any means. Any woman who reads this and goes out with him anyway is probably a perfect match for him. Dude knows his audience.

    But I do wonder if he’s had much luck finding a “mature, classy, conservative” woman who’ll tolerate his garbage personality and overall lack of worldliness AND pay for her own dinner. Francis, if you’re reading this: Have you checked across the street from the unicorn store?

    • fuzzilla Says:

      I kinda wonder if it’s more a “fuck you” borne of dating frustrations than something he actually thinks will attract or interest anyone.

      • Selena Says:

        Yes, it does kind of read that way.

        • fuzzilla Says:

          I think that happens a lot on OKCupid, actually – people with no hope, fully aware of the chips on their shoulders, writing thinly veiled insults directed at their most recent ex-, etc. Honestly, maybe that’s a big reason why written profiles are going the way of the dinosaur.

          I’m not looking any more, but if I ever am in the future, I will really miss people actually putting effort into their written profiles.

  30. Bostonette Says:

    Any thoughts? Just one…
    Oh.
    For.
    Fuck.
    Sakes.

  31. Maria Says:

    He sounds like a complete fucking nightmare

  32. bigcitylife Says:

    When someone sends in their entire profile I just can’t help but go look for them. This guy is your run of the mill POF creeper. Gotta love that he is 49 but looking to date 30 year olds. (Creepy!)

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