Jesus, this girl.
And then I had a revelation that would forever change the way I approached the dating scene: If you get drunk enough, you can get along with anyone. Your worst enemies become your best friends, the ugly guy becomes the hottest thing since sliced bread and the people you once wrote off become people worth giving second chances.
Alcohol, you dangerous, dirty, little devil.
Why would you want to get to know a random stranger’s drunk self before knowing his sober self? That don’t make sense to me.
What are we actually doing when we get too drunk on a first date? Are we really just trying to lighten the mood, or is it more than that? Are we trying to escape reality altogether?
I love how she doesn’t seem to realize that not getting drunk on a first date is an option. Her solution to making bad decisions on a first date isn’t to drink less but to get the guy to take her somewhere where she can’t drink. Apparently controlling her impulses is not a thing for her. I see AA in somebody’s future.
Here’s why I always opt for the cocktail hour first date:
1. There’s less pressure – Mini-golf? Bowling? An art show? No. Here’s why: because all of those things require that you stick around for a certain amount of time. You want an easy exit should you need one. You don’t want to be this woman.
2. I like to dress up for first dates - I’m not wearing a curve hugging pencil dress just to ruin it with ugly bowling shoes.
3. I like getting to know someone without constant interruptions – Activity dates involve a series of stops and starts. It’s hard to maintain momentum when it’s your turn to putt.
4. I’m a god damn delight after drinking a cocktail - Most people have at least some apprehension walking in to a first date. I’m not saying you should throw back shots and start dancing on the bar, but one or two drinks does ten to lighten the mood and cut the tension.
5. Coffee dates are for cheapos and bores – There. I said it. Guys who suggest coffee dates are the ones who’ve been burned too many times and refuse to be taken for a sucker. Fun. Coffee dates, to me, scream cheap, paranoid, and rigid.
I honestly don’t know why anybody (other than people who don’t like to drink or are sober) would choose not to have a drink on a date.