Question: my boyfriend of 12 months is acting weird. On the first 4 months was all great. He made great effort to see me since he works many days and do double or triple shifts at the time. He is sweet and he used to call me every night before going to bed and used to text me in the morning to say GM and always made sure I heard from him on a daily basis. He is separated, not divorced. He does not take me to some of his social gatherings because some of his friends wives knows his ex and he does not want her to know he has a girlfriend, because he does not want to start divorce now because he is not ready financially for it. (those are his words) All was going well and two months ago he did a 180 turn. All the daily text messages ended and he told me he does not want to communicate every day, that it is too much for him and he needs down time. He also said he need space to figure out what he wants to do. He does not know if he wants to stay in a committed relationship, meaning one that he reports all his whereabouts to (btw, I never requested such) it is something he was doing on his own will. He said he would call when he felt the urge to. Every other day, or two days or three days depending on his urge and if I wan I could call him too, which I do not. I only reply to his calls. We meet last weekend after not being intimate for a whole month. He was the same, loving a caring and sweet, but he told me he understand if I decide to give up on this (quasi) relationship and find someone that can offer more. He used to send me sweet texts with kisses or a heart on it. All that stopped. He talks to me about everything, and we do understand each other, but I feel I am not a priority in his life. I am just there for when he feels like it. It is a very one side relationship. He introduces me to all his co workers as a girlfriend, but I feel like I am a Trophy girlfriend.
I read over and over that man goes to the man cave every now and than and we should pull way back and give the man all the space he needs. Should I keep giving him the space he wants? Or should I end this?
I mean, he’s kind of already ended it, hasn’t he? By telling you he doesn’t know if he wants to stay in a committed relationship, he’s actually communicating that the relationship no longer works for him. It sound sot me like this guy has pretty much broken up with you and is just coming back for the sex.
He talks to me about everything, and we do understand each other, but I feel I am not a priority in his life
Right. You are no longer a priority because he broke up with you. All he’s doing now is popping in when he wants to get laid. This is a one sided relationship because he broke up with you. Are you following me? You two are no longer dating. He’s done. I don’t even think this has anything to do with his separation. I think the relationship has just run its course.
Nobody actually needs space when they say they need space. That’s just a kind way to say, “I’m out of here. This isn’t working for me.”
The relationship is over. Capisce?