No Guy Is This Cheap

 

http://nypost.com/2016/05/25/cheap-bros-have-found-a-new-way-to-get-out-of-paying-for-dates/

So much for chivalry.

Venmo, a peer-to-peer payment app founded by PayPal and popular with millennials, isn’t just letting 20-somethings split cab fares and utility bills — it’s turning guys into really stingy dates.

Shaquan Bailey, a 22-year-old caretaker, was thrilled when a guy she met online invited her out for their third date at a restaurant near her Bed-Stuy apartment.

She found the man charming over pizza and wine and, like a gentleman, he picked up the check and then walked Bailey back to her apartment.

She thought the date had gone well — until the guy sent her a $30 payment request on Venmo to cover half the dinner bill, which she grudgingly paid.

First, who here wouldn’t cackle when they received such a request and hit delete? Come on. Who would take something like this seriously let alone actually pay it?

“I had a guy who asked me to Venmo him to pay for a $3 well drink,” fumed Tammy, a 21-year-old beauty blogger who asked that her last name be withheld for professional reasons.

“And I was like, ‘Bye.’ Where are all the real men?”

She refused to cough up the dough.

Yeah, because beauty bloggers are super into their privacy, amirite? They HATE publicity. Spoiler alert: Tammy doesn’t exist. Hence no last name.

Although what these guys did was in poor taste, financial expert and author Lynnette Khalfani-Cox defends them, noting that going Dutch is a sensitive topic.

“Both parties should agree on who’s paying for what before going on a date,” Khalfani-Cox said.

I really want someone to try this and report back to me how it all goes. Undoubtedly, it will be love at first sight. Who are these idiots? More horrible advice being dispensed from people who don’t date. Great.

This isn’t real. Like, at all. My guess  is that it’s a PR stunt from the people at Venmo.  Notice how many times they repeat the brand’s name? Venmo. Venmo. Venmo.Then there’s the fact that literally nothing about this story sounds plausible. As much as I believe that some people are just this douchey and classless, I have a very hard time believing someone would go to the trouble to issue a payment request for $30 instead of just asking their date to split the bill.

Many women will believe it because confirmation bias and what not, but they shouldn’t. It’s very likely fake. Nobody who actually wanted to be paid would do this.

Thoughts?

AndThatsWhyYoureSingle.com

Sometimes the love of your life is the love of your life. (R)

@ATWYSingle

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61 Responses to “No Guy Is This Cheap”

  1. fuzzilla Says:

    If it is real, the market is misogynist dudes braying to their peers about how they’ve “cracked the dating code on these bitches” and not anyone actually going on dates (which still means no one is actually using it).

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  2. DrivingMeNutes Says:

    Anyway, she buried the lede. Bed Stuy for a date?

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    • Eliza Says:

      Driving…you know Bed Stuy is up and coming, changing very quickly, and getting hip! :) Bushwick has also been undergoing many nice changes too.

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      • BTownGirl Says:

        I know of at least one developer planning $4k/month 1 bedrooms and another one with $1m+ 700 square foot condos in the works…so I agree! Once you look at a neighborhood and say, “They can find THAT many people who will spend that much to live HERE?” you know it’s happening.

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  3. Selena Says:

    I dunno, I’ve seen numerous guys on forums very vocal about their resentment of paying for dates. I can see passive-aggressive types trying this just to see if it would work. Especially if the woman they took out subsequently lost interest in them.

    As a dating strategy I would question the effectiveness. Women generally tend to give higher points to men who pay for the dates they initiated than they do to the guys who want to go Dutch. Accurate or not, there is the perception that the man who pays is more interested than the guy who doesn’t. Or that the guy who wants to split checks is Mr. Casual…hoping to get laid with the least amount of investment – financially or emotionally.

    And I would wonder how many women who get a Venmo request ever go out with the guy after that? I see internet forums cropping up that “out” men who have tried this.

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  4. Zaire Says:

    I don’t know any Shaquans but I do know that’s a male name. That alone made me suspect about this article.

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  5. chillybeans Says:

    I dated a man so cheap my friends nicknamed him the “King of the Cheapskates” and I could definitely see him doing this-he probably invented it lol!!!

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    • Eliza Says:

      I dated this guy that suggested the movies (this was years ago)–at that point, he offered to pick up the tickets, and went on and on about the “alarming price of movies today” and then it was downhill from there, when he continued about the price of gas, and everything else (talk about negative idle nonsense chatter–geez) – I believe back then, the movies were a whopping $9 per person? Sure, it’s a silly luxury–even now, but it’s a date…and he insisted on offering to pay for the lousy ticket. Anyrate, he decided he wanted popcorn…didn’t offer me any, it was for himself, and he purchased a small popcorn…as we sat through part of the movie…and he finished devouring the popcorn…he noticed some kernels at the bottom…with this, he got up and said he should go to the concession counter and get some type of refund–due to the unpopped kernels! You can’t make this crap up. So yes, there are some very stingy miserly people out there, Chillybeans. Like that username, chillybeans :)

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      • chillybeans Says:

        Thank you Eliza!
        Thats a great story about the popcorn, I would have encouraged him to ask for the refund just to see the looks on their faces…..
        the King of the Cheapskates wasn’t just cheap with his money, but felt compelled to tell me how to spend mine….when I finally replaced my ancient sagging sofa with a $400 Ikea model, he couldn’t believe I would “spend money on a couch when there’s perfectly good ones just sitting on the side of the road”

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        • fuzzilla Says:

          **wasn’t just cheap with his money, but felt compelled to tell me how to spend mine**

          Ugh, the Worst Guy I Ever Dated was like that (his issues extended far beyond being cheap, but yes, that was one of ‘em). Dated him for a total of a month and a half and he asked how much credit card debt I had and suggested ways I could make extra money. First of all, none of his God damn business, and second of all, he was in WAY more debt than I was (which I know because he freely shared this).

          I do remember once we went to this cute, hip place for breakfast and he got all bent out of shape that the waitress didn’t suggest to him cheaper food combinations (just eggs and just toast a la carte as opposed to the combo meals). The waitress was perfectly pleasant and she works on tips and you can do your own God damn menu math. Christ… (That guy was my Come to Jesus moment where I knew being single would be like living at a luxurious spa compared to being with someone awful).

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  6. Jake Says:

    This is an awesome app. Tell me where to sign up.

    Anyway, a man should never date a woman who believes he should pay for everything. Even worse, if you marry this woman, you will be paying for everything your whole life–even after divorce. I have seen this happen many times.

    When I date, I make sure that the woman I am out with pays her fair share or some amount. If she has a problem with that, we don’t need to see each other again. There’s plenty of other women out there. This strategy has cut down on the women who simply want to go out for a free meal. Besides, a woman who expects you to pay for everything and never offers has a serious character flaw. i.e. Eliza and her underling C-beans in the comments above. trust me, you don;t want to date a woman like that.

    All you guys who continue to pay for everything on dates are suckers. You don’t need to pay much or all the time to get laid. Save your money for going on trips, hanging with your friends or family.

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    • ATWYSingle Says:

      When I date, I make sure that the woman I am out with pays her fair share or some amount. If she has a problem with that, we don’t need to see each other again. There’s plenty of other women out there

      Yeah, no you don’t. You say shit like that thinking it makes you sound no nonsense and cool, but it really makes you sound wildly ignorant and foolish.

      This strategy has cut down on the women who simply want to go out for a free meal.

      You know what else this strategy achieves:? Making sure you never find a girlfriend.

      My god, you’re so bitter and clueless it’s almost endearing.

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    • chillybeans Says:

      I’d rather be Eliza’s underling, than your date, any day of the week. And I know you are just baiting us. Nice try! But save your energy for dating, you will need it.

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    • asker Says:

      Jake, you are a troll, aren’t you?

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    • Eliza Says:

      There we go again, Jake the Generalizer crying like some little girl–over a cup of coffee or lousy dinner. Trust me, any woman, me and Chillybeans included could give a crap about getting a free lousy drink or meal. Any woman that has it together wouldn’t be bothered wasting her valuable time sitting across from a man that is incapable of having a normal intelligent conversation without over-generalizing about the opposite gender, and going on and on endlessly about his negative experiences. I won’t mention any names! lol…you do the math, Jake (troll or not). So pathetic, to constantly spew idle chatter about such useless nonsense.

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    • Parenting Says:

      Any normal woman would not spend time with a man she is physically repulsed by for a free beer and bowl of spaghetti. How ghetto are these women you date?

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      • DrivingMeNutes Says:

        The ghetto is very up and coming. Very gentrified, haven’t you heard? It’s hip to be ghetto.

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        • BTownGirl Says:

          Ironically enough, people who use “ghetto” as an adjective have an 84.5% chance of being the walking definition of “low-rent”.

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          • Parenting Says:

            Ha! Fair enough. I walked right into that one. Just for you, I’ll be sure to chose more socially conscious and grammatically sophisticated adjectives.

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  7. fuzzilla Says:

    Is Venmo popular and commonly used for all sorts of legit things? Because the woman would have to have a Venmo account to be sent this request, I assume. Kinda like I can’t send you a Facebook message if you’re not on Facebook.

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      Or if she had one, the guy she had one (presumably lousy) date with would have to know/track down her Venmo details.

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    • Eliza Says:

      I believe so…it can be used to pay utilities, etc. Interesting concept…so many apps, like Lyft and Uber, used to make our lives seamless. Again, it’s how people choose to use them I suppose.

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      • fuzzilla Says:

        Paying utilities or lending people money with it totally makes sense, but, “Hey, let’s grab some drinks Friday, and btw, what are your Venmo deets?” will just never be A Thing.

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    • Zaire Says:

      I’m willing to bet most people my age(mid 20s) and younger have it. Very convenient. When my friends and I plan trips one person will book the hotel and the rest will venmo the other etc. going to the club but dot have cash for cover. I got you, just venmo me. However, it’s ridiculous that someone would use it to invoice a date. Literally never head of that.

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  8. Sarah Says:

    Your skepticism surprises me. Aren’t you a staunch defender of going Dutch?

    Also, the Venmo payment request after the fact is WAAAAAAYY less awkward than asking someone face-to-face on the third date if they will pay their half. It’s the perfect passive-aggressive Catch-22. What’s worse: Venmoing your date to pay her half, or your date refusing to pay her half? I can’t decide — that’s the beauty of it. If this story is true, these guys are geniuses. Well, except for the $3 guy. I think we can all agree that was a bit much.

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    • DrivingMeNutes Says:

      Apparently, women can’t turn down the Venmo invitation. With that much power, I expect version 2.0 will allow men to just demand a blowjob.

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      • Sarah Says:

        Let’s not pretend that turning down the venmo request wouldn’t reflect poorly on the requestee.

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        • DrivingMeNutes Says:

          I don’t normally do this on a first date…but Venmo ™

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          • Selena Says:

            Or perhaps we will start seeing letters like: I was pumped and dumped AND Venmo’d!!!!

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        • fuzzilla Says:

          Sending the request reflects poorly on the requester. It never even occurred to me to think ill of the requestee (granted, I’m not a man in the dating pool, but if I were, I would never do something that was such an obvious turnoff. I may not be the smoothest operator out there but I know not to openly insult people I wish to impress).

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          • ? Says:

            That’s the thing. These men or whoever are not out to impress. They know their dates won’t see them again and want to recoup or cut their losses.

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            • fuzzilla Says:

              But…they won’t recoup their costs, so it’s just being a dick for no reason.

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    • Selena Says:

      “Also, the Venmo payment request after the fact is WAAAAAAYY less awkward than asking someone face-to-face on the third date if they will pay their half.”

      And very sneaky as well. Man asks a woman out for dinner, makes a show of it being his treat – how nice of him. She makes repeated Thank you’s. The next day the woman gets a bill for half of it. How romantic.

      I dunno, I’m imaging a lot more “Fuck you ASSHOLE I’m not paying!” rather than ” That’s a good way to avoid the awkwardness when the check comes!” I don’t think “pretending” to pay the check is gonna be conducive to future dates.

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      • Sarah Says:

        It was sneaky af, but so was not offering to pay half. It was their third date. The time for making a show of chivalric “treats” had passed.

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        • Selena Says:

          Sarah, meet Jake. Jake, meet Sarah.

          There’s a lid for every pot, so it is said. ;)

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      • I'mnoexpert Says:

        I actually can believe this happened and I don’t think it had anything to do with avoiding awareness. I think it was the 3rd date, he paid expecting action, received a goodnight. Thought I’m not seeing this chick again….Venmo bitch!!

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  9. BTownGirl Says:

    When I read this, I thought there had to be at least a 62% chance it was a promo too. Enough people are doing this that it’s A Thing? I figured either it’s fake or I’m just An Old who doesn’t know what The Kids are up to. I mean…every one of them is magically using the same app? Not one person is reppin’ for paypal?

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  10. Brad Says:

    I always insist on paying for dinner, and in most cases the woman will insist on returning the favor by buying drinks later. In the end it’s largely a wash, so why ruin a perfectly-good opportunity for nookie by being a cheapskate.

    If you’re a guy and you can’t afford to buy your date a dinner, it’s probably just best to stay home. In today’s online dating landscape, the margin for error is so razor-thin that you have to seize every opportunity for an easy-win. In this respect paying for dinner is a no-brainer (unless you have no brains).

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  11. Really? Says:

    What’s the name of this site/blog? Something about being single? I’d say that’s quite apparent as evidenced by the comment section. I see anger and frustration retorted with bitterness and pettiness with plenty of self centered mindsets to go around… and that’s why you’re all single.

    Try getting to know someone without looking at the price tag, generalizing or making assumptions. Then once you know that person and want to continue dating, put his or her needs before your own and let me know how it works out for you. You may be pleasantly surprised.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      Thank you so much for your sermon….but some of us aren’t even single.

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  12. Sarah Says:

    Of course women don’t enjoy paying for dates. But at some point, they should begin contributing. Venmo is very a much a thing, which people use, all the time. You know what people don’t use all the time? Cash. Using an app is perfectly reasonable. I know it’s gauche to acknowledge that money exists and we all use it, but just split the bill. That’s all I’m saying.

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    • Katie Says:

      The guy asking to split the check is one thing. Being passive aggressive enough to not ask your date to split on the actual date, and then trying to foot her with a bill through an app afterwards is quite another.

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      • Eliza Says:

        Exactly. I agree with Katie. Absolutely nothing wrong with going dutch, if both parties agree on venue…but just be upfront and communicate. Speak/listen and express your thoughts – afterall–you are actually sitting face to face with someone. Nothing wrong with opening your mouth, and saying, Hey, let’s split the cost here. Rather than use Venom, I mean Venmo! How absurd. Now, if we are amongst pals one evening…and some people have Venmo accounts, and agree to use that app, so be it.
        But someone would have to actually “communicate” verbally to suggest! How terrifying – to actually speak up. LOL.

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  13. Ben Iyyar Says:

    I always expected to pick up the check for my dates and I never expected my dates to pay, where did this stuff come from anyway? I always understood that that if I asked a lady out I because I found her attractive and perhaps likable and that I was asking for her time and attention. Thus I did not expect her to have anything more than a passing interest in me unless I gave her a reason to on our dates. So being the man, I was willing to make the effort and pay the expense of us getting to know each other, I was very fortunate, sure, that I met my wife of thirty five years this way, but I just do not get this splitting the bill business at all, if a man asks a lady out, he pays!

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    • Selena Says:

      Many women will insist on splitting the bill when the know they don’t want to go out with the man again. And if a man suggests splitting the bill, take it as a sign of disinterest on his part.

      Suggesting splitting if one IS interested seems counterproductive on early dates.

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      • fuzzilla Says:

        Exactly. If you’re interested, you’re not gonna wanna screw up your chances. If you’re not interested and you’re pissed you spent the money – do you honestly think the woman is gonna pay you back after the fact? A woman you could give a flying fuck if you ever see again? Honestly, maybe a woman would pay the $30 or whatever just to be like, “I do not want you to come crying to me that I owe you ANYTHING, EVER.” Although, if you never see each other again, is that relevant? Or maybe overlapping social circles push you into the same rooms against your will..?

        Look, I get it – dating is frustrating and can make you very bitter. That’s something to fortify against, not enable. Just suck it up and move on.

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        • fuzzilla Says:

          If it’s an established relationship, it’s fair for the guy to just ask the woman to pitch in – but there’s no good reason he can’t just Use His Words (With His Mouth) like a big boy.

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          • Selena Says:

            I see it as the better people get to know each other, the better sense they get of each other’s comfort level when it comes to spending their discretionary income. And become comfortable talking about it.

            If I wanted to go to a pricey venue I knew my boyfriend would just as soon skip, I would treat him because I wanted him with me, not ask him to split the cost.

            If we wanted to go someplace for the weekend, we would discuss the cost and how we would both pay for it.

            I see splitting costs more the realm of friends and lovers. If two people aren’t yet either…then I feel that the person who asks for the date should do so with the expectation they will pay for their date.

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          • Eliza Says:

            Exactly Fuzz–put on your big boy pants -and speak up. Actually, when involved with someone–I treat, not just split to an event or dinner, lunch, what have you every now and then. We are both working, so I agree, and it’s nice to treat someone you like. With that scenario, there is no sense of entitlement or obligation to do so.

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    • Eliza Says:

      I hear you Ben…some men share your approach. I, for one, have heard so much angst from plenty of men on various blogs and in person…about paying for first dates…dates that cost well under $20 mind you…so I make it a point to bring enough cash, and a valid credit card – ready to contribute…even if I am interested. Even when I meet a man at a starbucks…I just pay for my own coffee…don’t need to feel that type of angst from anyone. There have been times, when a guy insists on surprising me, or insists that we go to a particular place…and that puts me a bind if he happens to choice a very pricey venue…because I had no say in terms of where we ended going. In that case, I offer to leave the tip or contribute what I can. But again, you may get some men that feel, because they spent “X” amount–they are “entitled” to some booty action! lol…seriously. That sense of entitlement is what leaves a sour taste in any woman’s mouth. Again, for initial dates, that are blind – which means, online…I meet at a very modest nearby wine bar…and buy my own wine, or a lame Starbucks.

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      • Selena Says:

        ” There have been times, when a guy insists on surprising me, or insists that we go to a particular place…and that puts me a bind if he happens to choice a very pricey venue…because I had no say in terms of where we ended going.”

        I’ve had the experience of a man asking me to go to a restaurant, ordering items that cost twice as much as what I ordered, and when the bill came, split it totally in half with me. I was too shocked to say anything. I just paid what he asked for.

        This was over 20 yrs. ago and whenever I read about women “trying to upgrade the date” I think of this dude.

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  14. Ed Says:

    Say what you will about pay inequality and how much women pay to fix themselves up for a date, dating costs money and even inexpensive dates can add up fast. Of course women want the guy to pay! Why wouldn’t they? The cost of living continues to rise while wages ebb, and there are tons of women still flocking to expensive cities like New York and insist on living in a tiny Manhattan studio they can’t afford because they figure they’ll hook Mr. Big and can date a bunch of beta males in the meantime to subsidize their fancy-schmancy lifestyles.

    Don’t believe me? Just google phrases like “dinner whore” and “sugar baby” and see what you come up with. (By the way, has anyone on here even checked the demographics of a place like NYC? Most of the straight singles in Manhattan are women. They came here probably because of the mass delusion created by “Sex and the City”–a show which was a major contributor to the horrible dating scene in NYC. So what do we have? We have 90% of average women looking to land one of the top 5% of eligible bachelors in the city. If that was a financial instrument I’d short it in a heartbeat with odds like that. Good luck.

    Pay inequality? It’s marginal. I’ve dated plenty of women who make six figures. Don’t ask me to feel sorry for them even if they still struggle to pay the rent. They’re parasites just like every other broad who thinks it’s just chivalrous for the man to pay–first for drinks, then dinner, then trips….ad infinitum. He pays with time and money but ultimately his soul should he be unfortunate enough to be suckered into marrying said parasite who will no doubt divorce him, take half of everything he owns, poison his children’s minds against him, and continue to torment him afterwards for the rest of his life every chance she gets.

    It costs more for a woman to prepare for a date than it does for a man? Boo hoo. Cry me a river, sweetheart. If you need that much work who do you think is going to end up paying for your high maintenance ass if you get married? What you see is what you get with most men. It’s not our fault if you smashed through the wall with reckless abandon because you spent the best years of your life partying in clubs and getting free drinks and dinners from clueless schmucks who more often than not actually wanted a chance to have a relationship with you though men have been relentlessly maligned by women as only being out for one thing. And you know what? Yeah, we do want to have sex with you. If you don’t want it just as badly move on because those of you who dangle your honey pots in front of our faces as a reward for kissing your fat asses that were fed with meals we provided are just common whores–nothing more but probably less.

    You all want to have your cake and eat it, too, but everything has a price. You wanted equal rights, and you got them, but you want to cherry pick the terms. You’ve largely gotten away with it, but men are fed up with constantly dealing with how unfairly we’ve been treated. A comeuppance is at hand, and this is only the beginning. Men’s rights movements and MGTOW are growing in numbers, and it’s about time. There have been too many women who have snubbed and abused good men for too long. You say you want fairness, but you don’t. You want to be worshiped for your fading beauty without reciprocation.

    I will never marry. I will merely enjoy one short term relationship after another because I can and because every woman I’ve ever been with has proven that no matter how good I am to them they won’t be able to hide their true natures from me forever.

    Peace.

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  15. Ed Says:

    One last thing: It’s not entirely women’s fault. I believe men are largely responsible for this plight. We’ve been the enablers. We spoil women from the day they’re born until we realize we shouldn’t have, but by that time it’s too late. If the roles were reversed we wouldn’t be any better. That doesn’t make it right, but that’s the hand we’ve been dealt.

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