Six Figure Dating?


Recently we started hosting Ivy League/Advanced Degree Speeddating events. Weirdly (and “weirdly” I mean “of course”) these events sell out with very little promotion from me. As I noted a few weeks ago, speed dating is no longer all that popular, since Tinder and Bumble and all the other apps essentially mimic the format of a traditional speed dating event.

But what does seem to interest people is speeddating where there is a shared identity or interest. So, I’m thinking of putting together a Six Figure Speeddating Event, where the men and the women have to earn six figures. There would be no way for me to vet people and confirm their salary, of course. I’d have to rely on the honor system. But I kind of like the idea and wanted to see what you people think.

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16 Responses to “Six Figure Dating?”

  1. coffeestop Says:

    I think the possible mismatch will be that they might not end up being as attracted to one another as we all might think. But it would be interesting to find out. I might be wrong here but most power women I know are looking for something similar in income and education and six figure plus men are a bit more flexible because they want arm candy and looks are very important to them important enough they will always date down in income. Women make the assumption that their accomplishments will attract men and that is not the case. Not that it is a big deal but I have two masters degrees in two different areas because I am nerdy and I rarely tell people that of course I am doing that here. I have never had a dude say to me wow your two graduate degrees are so sexy. Which is why I do not mention it.

    So, it depends, if the six figure women are also very attractive it might work.

  2. Selena Says:

    If you have no way of vetting/confirming someone has a 6 figure income, I think you might have 5 figure income people signing up in the hopes of meeting 6 figure people.

    • coffeestop Says:

      I kind of realized after I commented that in my area ( mid sized southern city ) a six figure income is a bigger deal than where Moxie is so the pool might be bigger than I originally thought. Of course the five figure people are going to try an dhorn in and it might be a big hassel for Moxie to vet.

  3. Glazer Says:

    I think the universal laws that govern the majority of Mars/Venus interactions will prevail.

    In other words, women will always be more forgiving visually, but no so otherwise.

    She can get her physical needs met by the pool boy while searching for Mr Right who has more then she does. Albeit intelligence, wealth, etc.

    Men often wise up and would be grateful to find even an equal in terms of income and education, but we settle for less if the looks are there.

    I’d love to be a fly on the wall and hear some of the convos at that event.

    I’m sure words like RENT, HOURLY or anything resembling blue collar vernacular will be avoided like the plague.

    • Robyn Says:

      I don’t know that you won’t hear words like HOURLY or RENT at this type of gathering. What WILL be different is the context/conversation in which those words appear.

      Many 6-plus-figure earners are professionals in knowledge-based area’s (law, management & IT consulting, to name but a few) that typically bill by the hour.
      Trust me on this one (as an independent IT consultant who bills by the hour), hourly rates will most definitely come up in conversations if people get into a “business-oriented” conversation. And I predict that it will end up happening – if you don’t see anyone you fancy at a speed-dating event, you might as well get something out of the time/effort and do some good business networking ;)

      The “rentals” that will be discussed would likely be chalets in Aspen or Gstaad for winter skiing and/or cottages at the beach/up-country for summer time vacations. If it’s NYC then it’s The Hampton’s; if it’s Boston, then it’s “The Cape” or “The Vineyard” or Newport or “The Berkshires”…

    • AV Says:

      A good plumber with 20+ years experience can easily make over $100k.

      Many higher-level police officers also make that much.

      Out here in petroleum country many very experienced heavy equipment operators make close to $100k, and probably well over that when you figure in overtime. They’re in very high demand because of the rapid population growth.

      There are plenty of blue collar people who make high incomes, it just depends where you go.

  4. Nia Says:

    I’m on the fence about this, I think there’s pros and cons:
    get specific about matchmaking and perhaps even find a brand or type that could work for future events
    set yourself apart from other brands

    men making 6 figures rarely have trouble finding dates
    women making 6 figures are already mistakenly trumpeting that on their profiles and men usually don’t care (well, some grumpy MRA types might bring up a straw-woman “MBA making 8 figures”, but even they say they want housewives)

    I do see a possible niche in same-sex 6 figure match making, perhaps with an eye to the ladies? Power women are often very busy but still want to meet an equal in earning power and spending power. Might not be your exact area of expertise but “6 figure w4w speed dating” might unexpectedly take off!

  5. Bree Says:

    I can’t imagine that a Six Figure Income would be a big deal in NYC. Remember only $100,000 counts as six-figures. Are people making over $500,000 expected to sign up too? I bet most of the attendees will be “aspiring” types in the $80K-$150K range and yes, it will be hard to prove and people are bound to ask each other and most will lie. Also, most men are interested in youth and looks, not women’s income. “Six Figure” men will have little incentive to sign up for this kind of event. They’re more likely joining some “sugar baby” site.

  6. Dan Says:

    I don’t think six-fig dating would be too succesful as other comments also suggest.

    Shared identity is indeed the key insight as to why the Ivy League event was a hit. Having lived in an Ivy League college town, I can definitely say that there is a unique identity that bonds the alumni. It is no surprise that they would be keen to meet those in their same peer group again later in life, in a fun setting such as dating.

    The same would go for advanced degrees. I’ve done a Masters and a PhD. I would definitely say that there is step change going to a PhD in terms of challenges, lifestyle, and even depression and drive that PhD candidates face in that path. During my PhD convocation, I was overcome with a feeling of passage that I was sharing with every one of the graduates around me. In fact, I looked at every one of these freshly minted PhD women around me and feeling that they were all extremely hot! No pun intended in refence to the time of year of my commencement. I was attracted to their intelligence and that we shared the same journey. I didn’t have that feeling at my Master’s convocation.

    Same goes for MBAs. Recruiting brochures often say that classmates make friends for life.

    I think identity is more powerful than shared interest. If you held a speed dating event for a certain common interest, I think it may be succussful, but not as succesful as speed dating based on a theme of shared identity.

    I don’t feel a six-fig event is one of identity, and certainly not one that touches a common interest.

    Brainstorm a bit on what themes can be based on common interest and identity… cycling (or any other sport), dogs, veganism, wine, travel, Springsteen fans… are common interests and may or likely may not be successful. Things might get more interesting when one gets to identity… expats, environmentalism, Republicans or Democrats… It’s a risk, but that’s what it takes to break through. It would be less of a risk when you hit on a theme that is just so obvious, like the Ivy League one.

    • alan Says:

      I think Dan’s comment is brilliant. The $100k speed dating event is just sort of crass but some of his ideas (particularly ones involving sports and fitness or pets) are broad enough to attract mass yet allow speed daters to have some degree of instant rapport.

    • Goldie Says:

      That is my experience as well, although from a different standpoint. I dated a guy from a LAC town for two years. I definitely felt like an outsider in his academic circle. My five-year-degree, from one of my country’s top schools mind you, was the same as a high school diploma to them. They did not see me as their equal. Ironically, I made the same as my partner, and more than most of his colleagues. That did not matter either. It was actually a subject of pride among them, that they made less than they could’ve in a corporate career, doing something they loved, making a difference, teaching their students etc etc. (To hear them talk about it, anyway. Who knows what they were really thinking.) They probably saw me as a sellout, on top of being undereducated. I definitely did not fit in with that group; despite being in the same income range.

      Besides, like others said, isn’t six figures a pretty common thing in the NYC area? To the point where the attendees really might not have any common ground. In my area, this would at least mean senior-level professionals. In NYC, I don’t even know what it’d mean.

  7. bbdawg Says:

    I have an ivy league degree and I think it’s a good idea but like Bree said in NYC that is likely to attract the “strivers”. Because you can always join the Alumni club if you *really* want to meet people who went to your school.

    What this points to, though is the experience i think many women have had, where the pool of men online is hugely less educated than the women and I had read a few years ago, that women of the younger generation in NYC make more money than men. This is likely to continue so the demand for this will increase. It’s acceptable to date men who make less than you but it is A LOT harder to date men who are uneducated (i.e don’t read and have no intellectual curiosity) since you literally have little to talk about. So the focus on “ivy league” works better as an incentive than income alone.

    Despite the “options” talk that comes from online dating, I have read that it has NEVER been harder to marry outside of your class. According to data, people who come from similar backgrounds and educational levels date each and marry each other.

  8. Noquay Says:

    I think its an excellent idea; wish there were something like that anywhere remotely near here. As a six figure earner with multiple degrees living where the vast majority of single men my age (50s) are very blue collar, I might as well be a different species. Surprizingly, the class differences do not stem from spending (my much less fortunate neighbors spend far more on television/entertainment/driving/take out or processed foods/the bars than I) but rather issues of values and lifestyle. Politics/tolerance of alcohol/tobacco/drug use/fitness and activity levels/diet/recreation choices; all polar opposites. Bbdawg is spot on; the pool of men online is much, much, less educated and yep, you have zero common ground. The choices one has is either to date someone compatible living far away or choose to remain alone. We’re neither better or worse than the other, just radically different. I assume successful women in da city feel much the same.

  9. asker Says:

    To each its own. I do like the idea of events for highly educated people, gee, I haven’t attended an Ivy league school, but I am have a masters and did more grad work, and I prefer highly educated people. I am aware that some very smart people my only have a BA degree or can be dropouts, but unless you meet people in a different setting, these ways to meet people (speed dating, social gatherings, online dating) are very similar to job interviews.

    But the money issue… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I have to work very hard to get a little close, but I still don’t make that money, it makes me wonder, are these people so concerned of golddiggers? Am I loser because my background is the humanities? My salary is decent… maybe not in San Francisco to live by yourself in a nice place… but with both salaries together a couple can live pretty comfortably… And honestly, if you are jetsetter and a person about town, why the heck you need a special gathering like this?

  10. AV Says:

    “Weirdly (and “weirdly” I mean “of course”) these events sell out with very little promotion from me.”

    People who make $100+ a year work long hours and are often at the beck and call of their employers and clients. This would be pretty convenient for people who are this busy.

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