Question: Hi Moxie,
I am in my 40’s, and have been married for 12 years. I have a question that is more about friendship. About a year ago, a woman transferred into my department. She is very beautiful – she is 39 but looks not a day over 30, and seemed very delightful. Over the past year, we have struck up a casual friendship. She confided in me about her issues with friendships – frequent job changes have made it very difficult for her to maintain long term friends. I was/am very sympathetic. In the past few months, we have been hanging out out of work as well.
Today, we grabbed lunch in the city. She started talking about her dating life in NYC, which mostly involved meeting new people on apps. She told me that women often get jealous of her because of the attention that she gets from men, particularly younger men. I said something to the effect of, “you are so pretty, I am sure the 28 year olds are after you!.”
She then said, “oh not 28! Younger.”
She whips out her phone and started showing me her exchanges in an app. She brought up profiles/photos of young men she has been talking to. They were 20, 22, and one was 19. The boys looked a few more years older than my son. She told that that she has met up and had intimate relationships with many. “People shouldn’t judge because of age. Some of these boys are very smart.” She then told me about how she has learned so much about foreign countries like France and Brazil from meeting these boys (several of them are foreign).
I went home, and honestly, I am a little speechless. I see her at work every day, and prior to this conversation, our friendship was growing at a rapid pace. am I being judgmental about this whole thing? am I just out of tune with the current dating scene? Your thoughts – should I pursue this friendship when I feel icky after this conversation?