Question: I seem to have a bit of a mystery when it comes to online dating. I am concerned that my problems are almost entirely based on looks.
Now, I know I’m no oil painting (probably a 5 if I’m being fair to myself) but 90% of women I message will view my profile (POF notifies you of this), but will not reply. I get about 1 match on Tinder for every 100 – 150 right swipes.
Could it just be my looks turning the majority of women away, or am I potentially missing something?
First, get off Plenty of Fish. That site is a wasteland and attracts the lowest common denominator of single people. It also has a high concentrations of scammers, which could answer at least part of your problem. You might be messaging dummy profiles.
I don’t know if you’re looks are turning women away. I can’t see you, dude. Nor do I have access to the women you are messaging. I don’t know. The only thing I can say is that 1 match per 100 swipes does not sound good. Something obviously isn’t working. Since you’re completely bombing out on Tinder, I’m guessing it’s your photos.
My personal opinion is that these swipe left or right apps are not for the average joes/josephines. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you don’t even exist on those apps. I’ve deleted Bumble from my phone. That app is quickly becoming the new Hot or Not. All of the average bordering on unsavory people are surrounded by people above average in looks, education, status, etc. Of course the average people are being ignored. That’s why all the average people are now on Tinder. The disparity in quality of members between Tinder and Bumble is jarring. Sorry, but Tinder is fucking over. The people on that app are disgusting. Like bottom of the barrel gross with their shitty pictures and horrible hygiene and total lack of style or fashion sense.
I’m just going to say this and let the chips fall where they may: if you aren’t considered objectively attractive or do not have some kind of status that you can tout in your profile, don’t bother with online dating. The process has become so looks focused that no one is bothering with you unless your first photo is top notch. I keep saying this: people aren’t really reading profiles anymore. Most of us no longer have the opportunity to sell ourselves beyond the photos. We’re deemed hot or not in the speed of a swipe.
You obviously need to be more realistic when it comes to how you measure up to other guys on these sites. Time to lower the bar a bit, my friend.