Here’s an article making the rounds on Facebook
From the article:
Michelle went home excited about her date. She could tell it was successful and that the two had pretty good chemistry.
But the next day, Michelle was stunned when her date from the previous night sent her a text message. She wasn’t stunned by the fact he texted her, I should say, but by what he said.
“Thanks for a wonderful evening last night,” his text began. “I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You’re cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won’t.”
’m not going to bull***t you… I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you’re the prettiest looking girl I’ve ever met. But my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer.
Shallow? It’s not meant to be. It’s the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God… I really, really am), I can’t say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don’t want that to happen baby.
The first thing about this cuntrag’s email that makes me ragey is the length. Honest to God, I don’t know what it is about men from the UK, but so many of them are in love with the sound of their own voice. Blah, blah, blah. Me, me, me. I’ve slept with men like this, the kind that write these breathlessly lacking in self-awareness emails thinking they’re doing the right thing by being so brutally honest. I’ve posted said emails to my private blog group, and they can attest to how blissfully unaware guys like this are. Give them an opportunity to talk about themselves and they’ll run with it.
As the woman on the receiving end of this manifesto said in her response to him, this message was completely uncalled for. But somewhere in the recesses of this garbage fire of a human being being’s mind, he felt he just had to be honest with her about why he won’t be seeing her again.
He’d marry her if she were “a slip of a girl?” ORLY? Did she not have photos on her Tinder profile? Even if all she had were shots from the neck up, that alone would tell him she wasn’t “a slip of a girl.” Did he just forget what she looked like before he met her? I doubt it.
I don’t get it. It sounds like everything was firing on all cylinders with these two. I mean, this guy is positively gushing about how amazing she is… except for those pesky twenty pounds. So what’s the problem? Here’s what I think it is. I think this guy is one of many, many men who prefer to date conventionally slender women because of how it looks. He’s the equivalent of the women who refuse to date a guy shorter than 5′ 9″ “because they like to wear heels lol!” It’s not about attraction, it’s about perception. And nothing is more important to these Shallow Hals and Halles than being paired with someone that enhances their brand. It’s all about their image. Here’s the thing: he is attracted to her. I think he means every effusive word in this self-important missive. He just can’t bring himself to date her because what would his mates at the pub think?
I know my body is a big (lol! get it?) reason why I have so much trouble on apps and dating sites. Trust me. I KNOW. I don’t need anybody to point that out to me. Trust me. We know when a guy will pass us by because of our bodies. Maybe he stealthy posts a photo of him with one of his slim female friends. Or maybe he yaps about how he wants someone “fit” or “who takes care of herself.” Sincerely…we know. We know because there are plenty of men out there who think nothing of telling us – in one way or another – we’re not good enough. And why do they do that? Because those (usually white) guys think they represent all men. It doesn’t occur to them that plenty of men – men of all ethnicities and races – desire women with bodies like mine. No, see, only their opinion counts. And as such, their opinions must be heard!
From her response:
You may think are all my profile pictures are “FGASs” (That’s Fat Girl Angle Shots — pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they’re a fair representation. And I’m pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza, and include links to my Instagram page, where I have the #everybodysready bikini shots I took on my 30th birthday.
I like to think I come across as a confident, happy woman. But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think “She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two?” I have to ask — we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions (I discovered this firsthand when I ventured a response to those obnoxious bloody adverts).
Short answer? Yes, that is why he targeted her. There is something threatening about a woman who isn’t conventionally attractive not caring what other people think. There is a need to take her down a peg. And not just by men. Some women feel threatened by this confidence, too. So I agree with her theory that this guy felt some insane compulsion to embarrass her with this email. Why? Because he was attracted to her and hated himself for not being secure enough to continue dating her. She was an easy target.
That’s all I got. This guy’s email drained me.