Do Average Looking People Do Better Online?

Confused Geeky Woman


Here’s an excerpt from a recent xoJane article that might provide an interesting discussion:

A little about me: I’m 33, 5’1″, 180 pounds, polyamorous, and dedicated to the single life. I have two degrees and am just starting to work on two more right now. I’m smart, kinky, wise, emotionally aware, and a nerd. I’m an intelligent, fairly pretty, bigger girl.

The people I tend to date are smart, geeky, kinky, emotionally aware, and in an older range (44 to 48 right now).

The thing about online dating these days is that you’re in obvious competition with literally everyone on the site. Tinder, for example, pits you against hundreds of other women, and obviously the slimmest, most beautiful ones tend to get lots more matches than women like me.

And that’s perfectly fine with me.


Because the guys who are attracted to conventionally pretty girls are not really the type I’m looking for.

It’s a marketing thing: In a world of increased competition, become a niche provider. Doing so gives you access to a more interested (and dedicated) customer base.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
, , ,

12 Responses to “Do Average Looking People Do Better Online?”

  1. KK Says:

    HAHAHAHA. I just read that article, and i only read it because i hate-read that author. Please. She is successful because she doesn’t do monogamy and she is into men and women and if she were more conventionally attractive i would imagine she would be more successful.

    I Maybe she has a point about finding your market, but I don’t trust anything she said. This is the same woman who wrote about the glories of sleeping with her friends’ husbands and how her ex totally gaslit her and blah blah blah.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1


    • ATWYSingle Says:

      The commenters are brutal every time one of her stories gets posted. She’s a one trick pony. She has this undying need to prove to everybody that she can grab a dick whenever she wants.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2


      • KK Says:

        I also think…she is bad writer. I mean, her article about her ex? I thought maybe I was imagining things, but then the comments confirmed what I was thinking – nothing she wrote made it seem like her ex was gas lighting her, and even the commenters who said he seemed like an ass, I didn’t think he sounded like a jerk. He sounded like someone who was not compatible with her. I don’t know whether this guy was a narcissist or sociopath or whatever term du jour is and she just conveyed that really badly, or she doesn’t actually know what gas lighting is. Either way, a bad writer.

        With XO Jane, it really is 90% of the time, “look at how much sex I can get.”

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1


        • fuzzilla Says:

          I looked up the gaslighting article. Yeah, there’s a difference between, “You’re crazy and wrong” and, “Well, I have a different perception of things. The former is where you have a bullet wound and your partner says, “Oh, quit being such a drama queen – throw some Bactine on it and carry on.” The latter is where, like…one person thinks a certain TV show is hilarious and the other one thinks it’s stupid. (Granted, it did sound like a crappy relationship).

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0


  2. Bree Says:

    Wow, so an overweight, homely 33-year-old woman can get lots of male attention on a dating site…as long as she bills herself as “kinky” and “poly,” and indulges men 12+ years older than her.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 36 Thumb down 2


    • Parenting Says:

      And seeks out “guys who are [not] attracted to conventionally pretty girls are”.

      I don’t even want to know what that means. Thanks, I’ll pass.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0


  3. Dark Sarcasm Says:

    This proves nothing. The ugly reality is most men on online dating sites will stick their penis in anything except a paper cup full of needles.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 2


  4. Laura Says:

    So, the lesson is – if you’re not hideously ugly and have pretty much no standards, you’ll be able to have a lot of NSA sex. Well.. duh?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 33 Thumb down 0


  5. Speed Says:

    After reading the article on XO Jane, I think the truly problematic part of this woman’s profile is not the photo, but her self-description. She self-describes as a person who’s highly opinionated (a less generous read is “dogmatic”), especially toward people who are, as she puts it, “wrong.” She also describes herself as “condescending” and “snobbish” toward us miserable proles who may not have the 4 degrees she either has or is working on. So if you quote the Hang Seng Index of 48 hours ago instead of the one at the last closing bell, mistake Turgenev for Chekov or Hayden for Brahms or don’t understand why Black Swan events don’t fit on a Gaussian Curve, she’s going to blast you: Dummy!

    And, as she freely admits in her profile, she is nowhere close to a “10 (one might put up with that kind of toxic personality if she were)” so what would possibly be the attraction for any guy? The only real attraction, as I see it, is an offer of immediate, free, kinky sex. And that’s what she’s offering and getting (under the awesomely chic, progressive banner of being “poly”). So I get how it’s working for her. And if this is her long-term life plan, then more power to her.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 1


  6. Timothy Horrigan Says:

    180 pounds is a lot of weight for a 5 foot 1 lady, but apparently it is distributed well. Her picture indicated that she has a sweet smile, a large library, and a pretty face.. She likes to have sex, and she is actually willing to go out with the men who would be the most interested in a slightly eccentric and very zaftig 33-year-old women (i.e., geeky 40-somethings.) I am not surprised she is having a good time.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 6


  7. bbdawg Says:

    Oh wow that’s incredible. A woman finds an endless stream of people who want to have sex on the internet. Unfortunately for most women genital contact is not enough.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0


Leave a Reply to Laura

© 2013-2017 And That's Why You're Single All Rights Reserved