Let’s Talk Pussy

pusshocked

Cats. Pussy cats. Sheesh.

I love my two fur babies. I would be devastated to lose them. They are – dare I say it – my best friends. They have been with me through more than most humans. If a guy ever asked me to re-home them, I’d kindly suggest he suck my dick.

People who don’t like animals are suspect to me. Barring an allergy, how can you not like animals, specifically dogs and cats? They’re balls of unconditional love who, at times, make you want to scratch your own face off.

My cat. Every morning. At five am.

My Siamese in particular is a pain in my ass. He is vocal and needy to the point where he will not leave me alone. And he’s a bit of a perv because he likes to be up on the bed when I’m having sex. But I love him. The other one, the female, is a bit fo a bitch but she has her moments. Like mother, like daughter.

Now that we’ve established that I love my pets, let’s talk about how these kitties and puppies might be cockblocking us into perpetual singledom.

“You must not have cats,” one woman wrote in her OKCupid profile. “My son is allergic.”

“My cat is my baby so if you’re allergic you should probably be open to taking medication for that or else it’s not a fit.”

Oh.

And then there are the single men with cats. Come on, be honest. How many of you look at a guy’s profile, see that he has a cat, and think he’s a serial killer?

A few months ago I messaged a guy on OKCupid. He replied and said, “I really like your profile, too. I’m deathly allergic to cats, though. “

I always advised profile review clients to list whether or not they have pets for this reason. While some of you might sniff (get it?) at the allergy excuse, those allergy excuses are valid. My Dad couldn’t be around pets at all because of his asthma. He sucked it up, though, because my mother fell in love with a Chihuahua and a Shittzu. He was constantly sucking on that inhaler, but he loved my mother too much to say no.

Admittedly, I’m not thrilled about dating dog owners. I’ve mentioned this before: dog owners have schedule restrictions that often get in the way of things.

Pets are deal breakers for many.  I get it. I really do. That won’t stop me from always having a pet, though. Yeah, it very well might keep me single, but I don’t care.

Thoughts?

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27 Responses to “Let’s Talk Pussy”

  1. Bethany Says:

    I’d rather be single with a dog than in a relationship without a dog! My newest dog is quite the perv as well. He decided to join in on some action a couple of weeks ago. I was doing my thing and next thing I know I felt a cold nose on my butt. Good times.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      One of my friends grew up with a golden retriever that would bark and practically run through the door if she was having relations with her high school boyfriend haha! Really put the kibosh on the “my parents are away! yippee!” passion.

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  2. Talljen10 Says:

    Nothing sexier than waking up next to a man you’re dating and have had great sex with all night, and him having to sprint out the door early in the morning so he can go let his dog(s) out. And yes, I get it, we can stay at his place, too. But when you don’t live super close to each other and it’s easier to stay at my place after a night out (or my place has a nicer bed, is more likely to have clean bathrooms and food in the house, is a significantly cheaper uber from where we were at, etc) dogs can really ruin the mood. I try not to date men with dogs (even though I am right now and have been for months, and love his dog). And I’m sure I’ll get lots of down votes for that. But it does make things incredibly complicated. I don’t have the same feeling abut cats – I don’t have allergies to either, dogs are just obviously more like children and can only be left alone for so long. So yeah – if a guy in his profile talks about his dog(s) and lives quite a long way from me but would otherwise be a reasonable dating distance in suburbia where I live, I won’t respond to him. But I think it’s the same thing for a lot of other factors – I have kids, so a lot of guys don’t want to date someone with kids from a previous marriage/relationship, and have to deal with my custody limitations. So I think animals are just one factor that some people look at.

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  3. Parenting Says:

    I love my dog but since moving into my new place, Ive taught him he is not allowed in my bedroom.

    I admit it. I’ve held having a cat against a man. I went on a date with a very nice guy I was only lukewarm on when he mentioned his 2 cats. I tried to push it out of my mind but my image of him was ruined. “Cats? Why cats?” I thought. Flashes of my roommates hidious obese cat pooping all over my clothes and down comforter flashed through my mind. Why cats? He may as well have told me he likes dressing up in his mothers dresses.

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  4. Redneckgeekgurl Says:

    And here I thought this topic would be political!

    Guys with cats … run gamut – from cat as personal mouse catcher to beloved friend. As with most other parts of a potential date/relationship with a particular person – mileage
    varies. As does the behavior of pets and kids!

    Personnally prefer cat owner to dog – due to the hassle factor of dog needs … but I also
    have 2 cats and horses, so have my own responsibility there. Shrug – hate the ‘love me – love my animal’ but realities vary.

    And the obese pooping cat hated you as much as you hated it! Had cat in my 20s who pooped in bathtub every time I moved (or when she was otherwise pissed off – vet trip etc) – but seemed to know her human’s patience level with rebellion only went so far!

    Who believes the dating buffet will serve up a no baggage treat –
    Just for you? And allergies are a thing …. have minor allergy to cat/dog (never
    had issues from that one) – but living with your allergy trigger and depending on meds to stay breathing is not a life most would be able to choose.

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  5. Laura Says:

    I find it difficult to believe that (health issues aside) owning a pet would be the ultimate dealbreaker if everything else worked. If the guy was hot, funny, smart, charming and there seemed to be mutual chemistry to spare, somehow I don’t think the fact that he owned two cats would automatically liken him to a serial killer (which, really?). It seems to me that it’s something people use an excuse to reject someone they weren’t awfully excited about in the first place.
    But yeah, I guess it would be smart not to mention it (or least not not dwell too much on it) in your online profile or early on a first date as it can turn out to be one of those things that work against you even before you’ve really been given a chance.

    I much prefer cats to dogs. Not only that having a cat is much less of a logistic hassle, it’s also that I’ve never felt really comfortable around dogs. But I wouldn’t refuse to be with someone JUST because he’s a dog owner. What would be a problem is if the guy demanded that I should instantly love his dog as much as he did and treat him the way he did. I wouldn’t expect someone to love and bond with my cat the moment he saw her, either.

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  6. Eliza Says:

    I actually find it appealing when a man is a pet owner. Granted…I am an animal lover. But it does demonstrate a level of care and commitment towards another living being, aside from oneself. This is my opinion. I can only imagine the thumbs down that is going to get! lol

    There is a lot of compromising and effort in caring for a pet, especially a dog. A cat is more self-sufficient. Love both.

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  7. mamajuju Says:

    There are some people who not only dislike pets, but will expect you to re-home your beloved fur babies out of sheer irrational jealousy. They are so profoundly selfish, that they abhor seeing you give love and attention to your pets. They don’t want you to have any source of affection other than themselves. Heck they don’t even want you to have friends of any kind!

    I once had such a person try to convince me to give away my pets. He used the “they’re so expensive” excuse. I told him to mind his own business.

    This bizarre demand was just the tip of the iceberg, he was a terrible person all around. He was utterly suffocating. I was lucky that it ended soon thereafter.

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  8. Dave Says:

    “People who don’t like animals are suspect to me. Barring an allergy, how can you not like animals, specifically dogs and cats?”

    To each their own. But what is truly suspect to me is anyone who judges someone else based on how they feel about furry creatures that are much lower on the evolutionary scale than humans are. Something very strange has happened over the last 10-15 years where dogs in particular have been elevated to near deity status in our society.

    And keeping any type of furry creature in the bedroom during sex? Boggles my mind to no end…and the number I’ve guys I’ve talked to who put up with this crap just to get laid is mind numbing. You love your dog more than people? I bet Sigmund Freud would’ve had a field day with you. Funny thing too…the most doggy obsessed people I’ve met in my life have also tended to be the biggest assholes. Perhaps that’s why they gravitate towards an animal who can’t speak or tell them to fuck off when their douchebag meter is approaching critical.

    You can tell people you don’t like or want kids and most will understand. You can say that you don’t like cats and probably get a similar reaction. But saying that you don’t like dogs is akin to saying you worship Satan in the middle of Catholic mass. And if you really don’t like dogs (ie, actually hate them like I do) I wouldn’t be surprised to receive death threats. Kind of like the people who have loved ones killed or maimed by a pit bull and then decide to speak out publicly about dangerous dog breeds and then the crazy owners treat them like the scum of the Earth. Hey, who cares if my dog was bred to be a gladiator killing machine – ITS PART OF MY FAMILY! Sorry it busted through your fence and killed your toddler who was playing in your back yard, the damn kid must have pissed off my son, I mean my dog. :/

    I wish I had a filter that could hide every post on Facebook where people I know are bragging about their new puppy, adopted dog or various other mutts. I’m sorry, but being able to bond with an animal that has primitive social pack instincts and will bond with anyone who gives them food and attention is not something that is praise worthy or worthy of any respect. This is a creature that will perpetually have the intelligence of a two or three year old and in most cases would be unable to survive on its own. Sounds a little like slavery in my book…

    And yes, I’ve raised and bonded with dogs and while I will show kindness to dogs I meet in my day to day life (especially the well behaved trained ones with responsible owners), it still does not change the fact that I think they are needy, smelly and disgusting creatures. I’ve also raised and bonded with a lot of cats…I think they are wonderful but I’ve chosen not to have one (or any pets) at this point in my life. Once I get more settled and purchase my own house, I will definitely get a kitty or three.

    Dogs are mans/peoples best friends? Who decided that for me, because I don’t fucking agree. My best friend is a guy I met in college when I was 17 and have spent several decades building a great friendship with. An animal could not and would not ever replace that. I kind of wonder what the world is coming to when one of my co-workers gets to come in late because he had to take his dog to the groomer, or another guy leaves early so he can console his mom over the recent loss of her pet pooch. And hell, some places even let you take Fluffykins to work. Mark my words…bereavement leave is going to include pets in the very near future, if it hasn’t happened already…

    Scotty, beam me the fuck up, please!!!

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    • nana Says:

      I agree with you to an extent. I like dogs, but I don’t LOVE dogs as much as I love my family members. Nor do I judge people who dislike pets. I understand the appeal of a pet free home: no smells, no fur, no feces, no extra responsabilities. I also think it’s weird that our society has treated them like mini gods or mini humans (actually, treating them better than a lot of children) and people would rather hang out with them than socialize with other people. Sure, it’s easier to like a dog than a person. They are so simple and clueless.

      I grew up with a dog that died at age 16. It was so very important to me and I have always cherished the good memories. But it was treated like a dog and NOT as a person (no clothes, no sleeping in our bed, no birthday parties, no strollers, no obsession). I think our society is dysfunctional beyond repair, and it creeps me out. Adopting pets has become a lot more popular than adopting children, BY FAR.

      If a dating prospect of mine had a dog, I’d probably be fine. A dog, with boundaries, not a mini person. And again, disliking dogs does not make one a bad person in my opinion.

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      • BTownGirl Says:

        I was just talking about this! I volunteer with an organization that supplies food banks in my state and one of my friends volunteers with a well-known animal shelter. If there’s a sad story on the news about an animal that’s been injured, the donations pour in (which is lovely, of course), but if a story runs on the news about the food insecurity in the area, it’s nowhere near that kind of response.

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  9. Chad Says:

    I love animals – both dogs and cats – and had both in my home. They are beautiful… but they are animals and it is unfortunate that these creatures, sometimes used as a surrogate for the partner and children missing in our life, actually prevents us from having the partner and children we want in our life.
    “They have been with me through more than most humans” well, they may have been through more food bowls – but they have not experienced anything that you have been through. You are a food provider. Projecting human thoughts and feelings on cats are simply that – a projection. Let your next partner feed your cat for a month and see how loyal your cat remains to you. There is no unconditional love from a cat.

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  10. Noquay Says:

    I have taken in unwanted animals of all kinds for decades, ever since I left my abusive family at 17. I disagree with many; a rescued animal, though perhaps traumatized, injured, does understand in its own way that you saved its life. Right now, I am enjoying my morning cuppa joe and my cats are sitting next to me just enjoying being next to me. They’ve already been fed, given fresh water, litter boxes are clean so theoretically they have no reason to hang around yet they do. My dogs (large and outdoor) have warned off a stalker, bears, stray dogs, mentally ill unstable neighbors, trespassers, and alert me that welcome folk have arrived too. Since I work/live in a rural mountain town and share few values with its populace, any relationships must be long distance so I spend long periods of time alone. Would rather spend those evenings in the company of a critter and a good read than brain numbing television or at a trashy redneck bar. I get it that some pet owners have houses full of shed fur, smelly cat boxes, shredded furniture etc. Such folk probably would have a messy,unclean home in the absence of pets too. A human problem. Not all folk had supportive functional family, not all folk have the luxury of working in a supportive, like minded community, not all folk can or should have children who are btw, not appropriate as a source of emotional support for an adult. I have disabled students whose pets are their lifeline; their disabilities so great that a human rship will never be possible. Yep, would be nice if all and sundry were capable of fulfilling, functional rships, that even very unattractive, impoverished, differently-abled folk could have meaningful human companionship but that’s simply not the case. I have found that folk totally against pets tend to live lives that are very limited, are obsesssed with convenience, take responsibility for nothing, have to be constantly entertained, recreating, traveling. I always wonder why someone has such a huge need to escape themselves and their lives.

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    • Dave Says:

      If this is how you choose to live your life, well then more power to you. I can understand the abusive family part (been there)…but keep in mind that not everyone who has been down that road needs the company of a pet. Hey if you love your pet, treat it well and especially if it is a dog you train it so it doesn’t get loose, bark excessively and CLEAN UP ITS POOP, I have no problems. I’m fine with a well behaved dog.

      But for every good owner out there, there are far too many bad ones. Many people like myself have been traumatized by an out of control animal…in my case it was dog that sank its fangs into my arm and started shaking back and forth like it wanted to tear my limb off since I committed the horrendous crime of walking down the street as an 8 year old. Thankfully I had a thick sweater on and grabbed a rock and bashed that vile beast on the head and nose to get it let go. Coming home with my sweater soaked in blood and my mother’s reaction to seeing what had happened to me isn’t one of my better memories. And I was one of the lucky ones…in my old hometown we once had 5 human fatalities by pit bulls in one year…

      Then there was the time a full sized German Shepard attacked my sister and I right in front of our house and kept trying to bite us when we tried to escape. And then seeing our 10 pound cat take on the dog and shred its nose with one swipe of her claw (sent it howling away in cowardice) is yet another reason I like cats and not dogs. Until I saw that Youtube video a few years ago of a cat saving a little boy from a dog I’d never heard another story like ours. Just imagine the courage of a cat taking on and winning against an animal 8-10 times its own body weight. Another time I saw that same cat get attacked by two full size Dobermans. She beat the living crap out of both of them…and many years later died peacefully in her sleep. Wish I could say my experiences with dogs has been as positive, but alas, it has been the exact opposite.

      If some people need animals to help with disabilities and mental issues, again, if that works for them, great. My father was disabled and had PTSD and he didn’t bond with animals, he still preferred people. I have PTSD and overcame mental illness without needing a pet (or meds)…so again, don’t assume that it’s a one size fits all.

      Yeah, I’ve had my fellow humans do some horrible things to me…far more than the average person. But despite that, I still prefer to spend my time with my own species…and I don’t expect that to change.

      Btw, what is up with so many people calling themselves an “animal lover”? I hear it all the time. Does that include skunks, scorpions, rattlesnakes and badgers? How about a grizzly bear? I think if you love dogs, just say I LOVE DOGS! Seems kind of silly when you think about it. :)

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      • Noquay Says:

        Dave
        Didn’t mean to state all folk need pets, actually some folk are incapable/unwilling to take proper care of an animal, which is precisely how my critters came to me. These folk often cannot or refuse to take care of their kids either. All were abused or abandoned. What you experienced at 8 was horrific; however, it was a dog owner problem. No pet should be running loose and the municipality needs to enforce this. I too have been attacked severely by dogs, once during 50 mile race of all places. Pepper spray works wonders both on vicious animals and drunken humans. To answer your question , yes, I have a great affinity and respect for most of the animal world. I have fox, coyote, bear, deer, on my land and do not repel them although they make extra problems for me on my farm. Spent time with grizzlies in Montana, wolves on my home farm, spent my birthday with an alpha pair at a wolf education center rather than over drinking/over eating. True, as a biologist, a Traditional Native woman, a serious outdoor athlete, I have a lot more affinity for the non human world than most. Certainly quality time with quality people is great; however, due to location, work schedules, demographics, such interaction is not always possible.

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  11. UWSGal Says:

    As a Siamese cat owner i can definitely relate! My Siamese kitty has been with me for over a decade and she’s been more emotionally supportive than either two of my husbands or any of the boyfriends that have come and gone over the same period of time. If a guy told to give her away i would just laugh in his face before I’d tell him to beat it. The order of things is as follows: me, my blood family, my cat, then everybody else.

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    • Dave Says:

      So what you are really saying is that since you have a poorly adjusted man picker, then it’s okay to anthropomorphize an animal who has no real say in the matter?

      Hmmm…m’kay. Works for me. ^_^

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      • UWSGal Says:

        I think you got that a bit backward. It is the men who are not a part of my life who have absolutely no say in the matter. And yes, it works for me, regardless of whether it works for you or anybody else.

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  12. UWSGal Says:

    Also, in my experience, people who do not like animals, period, fall into two categories: OCD and sociopaths. OCD people can be dealt with. The others not so much.

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    • Dave Says:

      Does that include people who step on bugs and spiders? Kingdom Animalia includes them all, actually.

      There was a famous guy in history that was quite the dog lover. Also a devout vegetarian. He had another defining characteristic that is escaping me now…oh right…a peculiar short mustache.

      But hey, he loved dogs, so it’s all good. :)

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      • UWSGal Says:

        Yes actually, if a person deliberately seeks out spiders and bugs to kill them for fun, he’s likely a sociopath in the making. Torturing animals is one of a signs they look for in children for that determination.

        And, since you clearly have trouble with logic, i can spell it out for you: just because some people who hate animals are sociopaths, doesn’t mean that everybody who likes the isn’t. That does not logically follow and i didn’t say that. Hope you are not a lawyer, with such poor reasoning skills it would really be tough.

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        • Lucy Says:

          I think bugs and spiders can be excused. I used to make traps to capture bugs, slugs and insects in general when I was a child. I was interested in learning more about them and studying them. But yeah I didn’t feel delight in their deaths. I am horrified by the thought of little animals dying and I can’t read about it or see it in news reports. Unfortunately our cats have got a few mice but that it what they are programmed to do and we have not encouraged it. Luckily they are not effective bird catchers!

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        • Dave Says:

          When a human being develops an unhealthy and unnatural emotional bond with an animal that can, never, ever be its equal, all sense of logic or rational thought goes right out the window. The same goes for saying that someone who doesn’t like furry, cuddly animals is a bad/evil/soulless person.

          There’s no logic there…just out of control emotions and having a pretty loose grip on reality.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      You’re forgetting people who don’t like animals because they’re afraid of them. I don’t think animal love is the number one indicator of character by any stretch. I love animals, but don’t have pets because the idea of “cleaning up” after one grosses me out. That’s not an OCD thing, btw, because OCD is about having anxiety-fueled rituals, not being a clean-freak.

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  13. Yvonne Says:

    “How many of you look at a guy’s profile, see that he has a cat, and think he’s a serial killer?”

    Absolutely never. I’ve dated men who owned cats and they weren’t any more or less sane then a man without them. I’m not sure where this line of thought comes from – are only women allowed to own cats? Is having a dog considered to be more manly?

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  14. Lucy Says:

    I love cats and have two. They are lovely and not much hassle. I enjoy having pets and always intend to have a cat at home (so the man would have to be amenable to this idea). I don’t mind dogs but wouldn’t date someone with several dogs or someone with one which requires lots and lots of exercise (as this can affect your lifestyle). Dogs are a big commitment, much more than cats in my opinion.

    Sadly I think anyone with lots of pets will restrict their dating pool. I mean if someone has tonnes of pets, they will be spending a lot of time with them and less with you. They are also expensive.

    I’ve never been put off by a man who likes cats – not at all. I don’t think it makes a man less manly. I am turned off by guys who see dogs as an extension of their penis and have to find the toughest or biggest one to make them look good.

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