How to Cope with Running Into Your Partner’s Ex
A few months into dating, my now-husband and I were approached by a tall attractive woman at a comedy club he was playing out of town. This charismatic blonde bombshell sparkled and shined and hugged us both. Not too long after, she cornered me to go on about how my new boyfriend was “just the best!”
“We’re super good, super old friends,” she said. “And I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Yeah, okay, great,” I chirped, unsure of her endgame but melting into a puddle of insecurity. Did she feel protective? Was she trying to make sure I was a worthy person to date? Was she still in love with him and therefore trying to undermine me? Was she simply trying to get in my head because she was insecure, too? It felt like a game of chess. I spent the entire car ride back to New York trying to figure out how I could have played better and avoiding my then-boyfriend. I hadn’t expected his ex to come out of nowhere and threaten my sense of calm. She seemed to want to throw me off balance. It was working.
There’s no point in parsing this essay because Mandy’s dislike and distrust of other women is well-documented. She’s feeling insecure because of course she is, and so now she and her husband are having yet another discussion about how to tackle this non-problem.
We decided transparency was easiest and most fulfilling when it comes to past romantic entanglements. Over the next few months, we laid out all our hookups, relationships, crushes, flirtations, almost-dates, and texts we still get from people at 4 a.m. that simply say, “’Sup?”...
I’m not the only who thinks this sounds a horrible, very bad, no good idea, right?