How long should people stay on an online dating site after meeting someone and feeling a strong connection on both sides?
So I met a woman online and we hit it off pretty well on the phone and after meeting for drinks. So for the next 2 weeks we were talking on the phone, txting quite frequently and met for dinner 2x and went to the movies. I put my search on the online dating site on pause but I could see that she was logging in (almost daily) and she had communicated during our first encounter that she signed up for 1 month on the day I contacted her.
Previously when I have met someone and there is a strong connection on both ends, I have been asked when I am getting off the online site after a week or so. So I have proceeded to stop searching while the relationship unfolds. A few years ago after 1 week of signing up for a 3 months on an online site, I met someone and shortly there after stopped searching because my intention was not to continue “window shopping” for something better.
So is the norm to meet someone online and even though there is a “strong connection” (on both sides) to continue searching to see if there is something better knowing that it’s a challenge and difficult, at times, to have any sought of connection during your first few encounters?
First things first: you don’t know that she’s searching for someone better. You’re assuming that.
Secondly, you have no idea what she’s doing when she logs on or if she has actually logged on at all. There are times when sites and apps show that a user is online and they’re not. And if they were, it could have been a butt dial situation.
Previously when I have met someone and there is a strong connection on both ends, I have been asked when I am getting off the online site after a week or so.
Uh huh. Are you still with those people? Exactly. Nobody should be springing that question on you after a week of dating or a handful of dates. If you’ve only had a few dates with someone and you’re already convinced this person is long-term relationship material, that’s a red flag right there. People who think like that just want to be in a relationship. Smart and savvy people know that slow and steady wins the race.
The only thing you can do is stop yourself from checking her profile. I mean, think about it: this is only a problem because you choose to monitor her site activity. If you cease checking up on her, you won’t know what she’s doing. This is a concern that you are bringing upon yourself.
Is it the norm to keep your profile active for an extended period of time while dating somebody? Yes. Many people don’t do anything with their profiles after meeting someone they like. They just let it sit there until the relationship is solid. Consider this: Okay, so she takes her profile down on that site. What about all the others? Are you going to check all those sites and apps, too? My point is that even if she did take her profile down, you’re never going to know what she’s doing, so why bother worrying? For all you know, she’s logging on to check on you.
This is the risk we all take when we start dating someone. New relationships are never presented to us on a silver platter with a note saying, “This one will work out.” You just have to jump.
If you want to know where you stand, ask her.