Why Won’t He Sleep With Her?

November 9th, 2016

Dating Realities, Dating Skills, NEW!, Sex

Sad-Woman-on-Bed

 

Name: CeeCee
:
Question: Why would a guy not be interested in spending the night aka having sex?  I’ve been dating a guy I met online for about 3-4 months.  We like each other, we talk/text every day, we’ve met each others friends, and go out every weekend.  I’ve been to his place and he’s been to mine –  we’ve also had some very heavy make out sessions, but never “done the deed” so to speak.

We went out to a nearby city two weekends ago for the day, and he dropped me off at my house around midnight.  I asked him if he wanted to spend the night or if he was too tired to drive home, but he said he was fine and headed back.  I’ve talked to him since then and seen him since then – nothing is different.  I just kind of don’t understand why he hasn’t tried to make a bigger move, beyond making out.  Am I thinking too much into why he doesn’t want to spend the night?
Age: 28

 

The first thing you need to do is ask him what’s up. Three to four months without sex is atypical.  There could be some religious reasons for why he’s not sleeping with you. Or he might be struggling with some physiological issues. He could be gay.  Or he’s just not that into you and doesn’t have the balls to tell you. I’m guessing it’s option number four.

It’s possible that you and this guy aren’t even really dating. You think you are because you spend all this time together and he shows you the kind of attention we assume only a man romantically interested in us would display. My personal opinion is that if you’re not sleeping together and there are no extenuating issues (medical, religious, etc)  then you’re not dating, you’re just friends that kiss. He might be afraid to speak up and define what’s going on because he knows he’s let the charade go on for so long.

I’d be confused, too. It’s not fun to feel rejected, and that’s what he’s doing to you. He’s rejecting you. You need to get to the bottom of that before you experience real damage from being continuously turned away.

SIDE NOTE: Feel free to share your thoughts on the election in the comments. I am heartbroken. We were so close and I fear a woman will ever get that close to becoming President for a very long time. We have elected a man who has shown time and again he does not respect or value women, people of color, or the LGBQT community. Trump winning was punishment for having a man of color run this country.  I am saddened and afraid.

Thoughts?

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69 Responses to “Why Won’t He Sleep With Her?”

  1. Selena Says:

    My first thought on reading the letter was is he religious? Followed by perhaps he is religious and hasn’t come to terms with his sexuality? It could be anything really, but you are not going to know until you bite the bullet and bring up the topic of sex with him. Hopefully he will be honest with you.

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  2. Selena Says:

    About the election results. I was both surprised and not quite surprised. Like you Moxie, I think in part the results were a reaction to having a man of color in that office the past 8 years. Those of us who were gladdened to see that color barrier broken may have underestimated those who resented the same. Still, the winning candidate is such a consummate arse, it’s difficult to believe the results. Even my parents, long standing Republicans in their late 70’s refused to vote for him.

    I told them before the election, “If he does win, I wonder how long it will be before he does something to get himself impeached.” Maybe not long?

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      My boyfriend likes to say I lived in a liberal bubble for many years, living in Chicago. Wow, I really feel slapped in the face by how true that is. (We have the same politics more or less, he’s just not surprised there are so many Trump supporters, having lived in little towns most of his life).

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  3. fuzzilla Says:

    **Trump winning was punishment for having a man of color run this country. I am saddened and afraid.**

    You said it. I’m too sad to rant about it.

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  4. Snowflake Says:

    About the election, I was chatting with a gf and even though my gf voted for Hillary she said she deserved the loss because she was so unemotional. to which I said to her … us women are damned if we did or didn’t display emotions.. we can never win. She also said Hillary should have opened up about her cheating husband. I said what does Bill Clinton’s philandering have to do with how Hillary is experienced and capable of running a country? And what so trump showed us who he is as a person makes him a better choice? Give me a break!!!!!!

    I think America is not ready for women in power unlike the rest of the world, who have had many women in positions of power, even if Michelle Obama or Elizabeth Warren ran against Trump, the result would be the same. Moxie you nailed it **Trump winning was punishment for having a man of color run this country. I am saddened and afraid.**

    So many people dislike Obama for insane reasons not seeing how much he did do for this country and this is the price being paid for having a classy president of colour who did so much good is brilliant funny articulate…

    My heart breaks for our world today..

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    • Snowflake Says:

      One last thing… life imitating art – Mellie Grant and Hillary Clinton (those Scandal episodes aired LAST year)

      Btw…. Canada is open… tho our immigration website did crash a few times since 8pm last night.

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  5. mxf Says:

    Guys, I’m really sorry about the election. I obviously didn’t believe that outcome was even possible, as I went to bed secure that things would work out ok. This morning was quite the shock.

    Who wants to come live with me in Montreal?

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    • KK Says:

      Oh man. I went to.McGill. i would go back but i am thinking Congress diskikes Trump so….maybe it wont be too bad

      I work at a lgbq cebter. Lots of crying. My undocunented client is coming in today

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  6. Cheryl Says:

    Sorry, but I’m pleased with the election’s outcome. Are you sure Canada wants you to come there? He’s no worse a villain than she is.

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  7. BTownGirl Says:

    I’m the most heartbroken for my Muslim friends, who are full-on terrified not just of this nutcase’s policies, but that he’s empowering other equally bigoted, misinformed, uneducated hysterics. We have to be better than this.

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  8. DrivingMeNutes Says:

    The posted question actually relates to the election as they both can be summarized as trying to understand the seemingly inexplicable behavior of mentally/physically impaired people, in both cases here – men. And, accordingly, in both cases, asking them “why” is not likely to yield a candid or useful answer even to the extent the person is sophisticated and thoughtful enough to fully understand his own motivations.

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    • mxf Says:

      So, for the letter writer, you don’t think there’s much use to asking they guy, “hey, why aren’t we boning”?

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      • DrivingMeNutes Says:

        Well, I don’t think she’ll get a truthful answer. Though she may get a sufficiently blunt answer along the lines of “I just don’t want to” which may give her enough info to take decisive action. People generally don’t narrate their true motivations like a character in a book. If you’re open to it, you can usually sufficiently determine motivations/rationale from their behaviors to take action without much talking. This I’ve always known about my fellow human beings, and I still believe it.

        What I didn’t know or fully appreciate before is how fundamentally different I am from many of my fellow Americans. It’s alarming on many levels.

        Whatever. I’m ready to quit the dark times that have befallen us and to come live with you amongst the Elves.

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        • mxf Says:

          Well, it’s not like Quebec is devoid of political or cultural tension. And the taxation will shock. But: great food, lots to do, reasonable real estate market. Loads of elves. What’s not to like?

          Plus, your USD stretches pretty far in CAD. It makes me jealous.

          I had one third-date get himself invited over for the night once, roll around with me in my bed for an hour, and still manage not to close the deal. I was stymied, and short of assaulting him I couldn’t really get more directional. I finally asked point-blank what the deal was, but he muttered something I didn’t catch and went directly to sleep (or fake sleep). I will never know what that was about, as the vibe was so awkward in the morning I couldn’t bring myself to ask again.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      Don’t forget to throw a healthy dash of desperation and despair into the mix, because it wasn’t just the racists loons who voted for him, but people who have been left with jack shit for hope in the future to the extent that they legitimately thought that this was their only option. That may be the saddest part about this mess.

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  9. Richard Says:

    Wow, lots of emotion on this thread regarding the election. I didn’t vote as I’m over in England.

    As an outsider looking in you didn’t really have any wonderful choices in this one. From a foreign policy perspective, I’m actually pleased Trump won. He’s far less trigger happy than Clinton would’ve been. Have you seen the footage where she states she’d meet any Russian hacking attempts with a military response? What about the video from the previous election where she said she would nuke Iran if she was made president? Scary. Trump also made suggestions he’d get on well with Putin. Imagine how much better the world would be without them being at loggerheads? It may sound far-fetched, but it starts from a better point than Hillary’s sabre rattling for sure.

    This is pretty much what happens when the left oversteps its mark. They’ve shouted down anyone who wanted boarder controls as racist and indeed anyone who opposed them on anything generally (Safe spaces in colleges etc). This is the ‘pushback’ from those politics of insanity. Given that the left has turned millennials in to a big of perpetually offended losers (my generation, sadly), I’d suggest the pushback is overdue and may shake some sense in to these snowflakes.

    Also, I can’t remember who it was who said this is the response for having a black man in charge of U.S. I have to ask… Is America really so backward on race? It’s been years since I visited and I was only eleven then (in 1999) so I obviously wouldn’t have picked up on anything like that back then.
    I’d also just like to add that people who wanted Hillary in because she’s a woman are ridiculous. Stop basing things on people’s identity, It’s silly. Judge their politics instead.

    The world will go on, despite what people say on Facebook.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      “Judge people on their politics”
      “I’m pleased Trump won”

      So, you’re down with someone who wants to “ban” Muslims (terrorists!) and Mexicans (rapists!). And that’s not even touching the misogyny and ridiculing of the disabled. Sweet Jesus, if being against that makes me an easily offended loser, so be it. This election stopped being about politics and became about basic human decency, which is too sad for words.

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      • Richard Says:

        *sigh* I am willing to accept the unfortunate fact that Mexicans are overrepresented in crime statistics (to my knowledge) and that most acts of terrorism committed the world over are done so by Muslims in the name is Islam. It isn’t racist, bigoted or whatever else you want to call it to accept this fact and to address it (albeit I don’t think the way he’s addressing is perfect, at least he’s recognises the problem).

        Oh, and BTownGirl, I have no idea what you’re trying to say with with the two quotes you’ve used of mine? Can you clarify please? I’ve not heard he ridiculed the disabled, I will look in to this (I don’t live and breathe politics, you know!). Misogyny I acknowledge, but Clinton covered up rapes and laughed about it later. Neither come off well in this sense.

        Moxie, a bit sad don’t you think?

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        • BTownGirl Says:

          What’s to clarify? You said that you’re happy he won and that we should be judging people on their politics alone. I just spelled out for you what his politics are.

          Here are some actual statistics on crime in the immigrant community (Mexicans included!”):

          https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/07/02/surprise-donald-trump-is-wrong-about-immigrants-and-crime/

          As for the Muslim issue, I suppose we’ll just ignore the people from the US and the UK who are self-radicalizing and that ISIS has nothing to do with the Muslims you and I know in our everyday lives.

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          • Richard Says:

            I’m happy he won over Clinton, yes. Because Clinton would’ve been truly terrible. Trump’s only marginally better. That’s why I am happy.

            Thank you for the link. The only table or evidence I could see there only shows a really small sample size and isn’t crime-specific. What can I take from that?

            ISIS has nothing to do with Muslims? Very interesting wording. Allow me to point out that whilst most Muslims do not have anything to do with ISIS, ISIS has a lot to do with Islam. Throwing gays off rooftops? Allowed in Islam. Women having half the say in matters of court? Again, It’s allowed in Islam.

            True, it may not have anything to do with the Muslims you and I know in our everyday lives, but Islam itself is not pleasant all the same.

            As for whether or not they’re self-radicialising… I don’t see how this is relevant. When I have been blown up on the London Underground and I’m bleeding to death, do I care how they came to feel the way they did? No.

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            • BTownGirl Says:

              Here was the most important part, for me:

              “Data from the census and a wide range of other empirical studies show that for every ethnic group without exception, incarceration rates among young men are lowest for immigrants, even those who are the least educated. This holds true especially for the Mexicans, Salvadorans and Guatemalans, who make up the bulk of the undocumented population.” (Ruben Rumbaut, University of California, 2008. Published by the Police Foundation.)”

              And of course it’s relevant that people who aren’t Muslim self-radicalize in the US, UK, and Europe, because it speaks to how wrong we are about who we should actually be afraid of. I’m afraid of angry people who hate freedom and people who are different than them. Those people will look for any excuse to be violent and ISIS just happens to have the social media outreach to get them on board. Terrifying. Of course I have issues with Islam (I’m half Jewish and a woman, after all), but the actual people I know who practice it aren’t chucking people off of roofs (or doing anything violent, obviously) and couldn’t care less that I’m a Jew, so it is what it is. I was a block away from the Boston Marathon bombings and saw the horrific aftermath, so I can understand your fear completely, but I think saying, “It’s all the Muslims!” is unfair and a dangerous mistake.

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              • Richard Says:

                Your study is indicative of immigrants who arrive legally it would seem. I obviously have no issue with immigrants who arrive and work without committing crime. Your study still only shows people of a certain age range and doesn’t include any accurate data on illegals committing crimes. It’s therefore inaccurate in this regard.

                They don’t look for any excuse to be violent, come on, that’s nonsense. They could get involved in a fistfight outside a club if they wanted to get violent. The reason those particular Muslims self-radicalise and join ISIS is because they read the Qu’ran and take some of the awful verses in there literally. Because Islam is a radical religion…

                I did not state that it was all the Muslims. However, most Muslims do beleive some very backwards (by Western standards at least) things. I’m not sure how many links we’re allowed to post here but I do know that the Pew Research Institute have done surveys of Muslims living in Islamic countries and some of their values regarding Sharia Law, terorism etc are shocking.

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                • BTownGirl Says:

                  Again, I am talking about NON-Muslims who self-radicalize and that’s what I mean about taking any excuse to be violent. Those people don’t actually give a shit about Islam, just like ISIS doesn’t actually give a shit about Islam. Sure, that’s the justification that they hide behind and the ideology they use to lure people into fighting for them, but they’re terrorists who just want to kill people and some of the west’s actions in the Middle East have given them the perfect hook. I don’t have a clue what “most” Muslims believe, but I agree that Islam has some aspects that are easily twisted to bad ends. Tragic and terrible for all of us, including the decent people who will suffer for the actions of some deeply disturbed psychopaths.

                  As for the undocumented crime rate, I think this explains it, from a statistics standpoint:

                  “Since undocumented immigrants are more than a quarter of the immigrant population, it’s nearly impossible that the overall-immigrant crime rate could be so much lower if the undocumented-immigrant crime rate were significantly higher.”

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              • Lucy Says:

                I don’t think Richard is saying that it’s all Muslims. But we do have to not deny the religious component to it. I’ve read articles written by Muslim writers which make this argument and an educated person would see that one wouldn’t be labeling all who practice the religious negatively. I definitely agree though that it’s homegrown terrorism which is the biggest threat of the 21st century.

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                • BTownGirl Says:

                  I tend to ignore the religious component because it’s the Trojan Horse for what ISIS is actually trying to accomplish. Are there terrorists who actually ARE doing terrible things in the name of religion? Absolutely. But I’m with you, it’s the homegrown aspect that scares me the most.

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                  • Richard Says:

                    Igonoring the religious compnent is a very naive thing to do I’m afraid. Their fighters and supporters are ardent Muslims carrying out some of the Qu’ran’s more extreme instructions. No more, no less. To deny ISIS is linked to Islam itself in any meaningful manner might make individuals feel better but it obfuscates the problem.

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                    • BTownGirl Says:

                      No one’s saying it’s not linked to Islam, obviously. If Islam is the only reason, then why in the midst of their self-proclaimed holy war against the non-believers are they using their fellow Muslims as human shields and worse? To the best of my knowledge, nowhere in their religious teachings does it say anything about murdering children in retaliation for not fighting with them.

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                  • ATWYSingle Says:

                    Guys, please stop. I appreciate your passion but enough.

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        • PGH Gal Says:

          They are not facts as most acts of terror in the U.S. are committed by white men. But carry on with your uninformed comments that “aren’t bigoted.”

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      • ? Says:

        Sorry but if I were American, I would have a bigot, racist, misogynist President than one who would drag us all into endless open ended wars in the Middle East and elsewhere. I find it incredulous that Americana know so little about their candidates foreign policy positions. I would rather a President that grabbed pussy to one who grabs Saudi money in return for fighting Sunni wars against Yemen and Iran and staying silent on the rapes and murders of female guest worker in Saudia, not forgetting executions of women raped, due to “adultery”

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        • The D-man Says:

          Trump supported the Iraq war. He says he wants to “bomb the shit out of ISIS.” He said he knows more about ISIS than the generals do. He says he wants to go after terrorists’ families. He says he wants to torture more, and the generals will obey his (illegal) orders because… well, just because.

          George W Bush campaigned on a “humble foreign policy” that eschews nation building. You see what that got us.

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  10. ATWYSingle Says:

    He could also be a virgin.

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    • BTownGirl Says:

      Concur!

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    • KK Says:

      Teump is disgusting. And asa native New Yorker i have hated him since i was a kid. He is a hate mongerer. But i sincerely doubt Congress will allow that to happen. Also.Trump isca businessman. If he bans Muslims, assuming Congress wpuld pass a bill like that, oil rich Muslim countries wiyld cease trade. Trump likes money too much

      Regardless. I am appalled. He makws Bush seem great

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    • KK Says:

      Did not mean to write that on this thread.

      Anyway. Yes. Perhaps a virgin or very inexperienced. I doubt he isnt into her onky because why would he hang out with her? He would sleep with her and never call again. Ok. He might be using her for attention but..hnm. Maybe he is on the autism spectrum

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    • KK2 Says:

      My bet is he has a small penis and is ashamed.

      This happened to me, where the man I was dating for a few months never initiated sex. He was Latino with a lot of swag and confidence so I wasn’t understanding why no real moves were made. He ended up getting drunk and crying, saying he was ashamed of his “little penis.” For the record, it was below average, maybe 3-4 inches, and at that moment I understood his shame for fear that he would be rejected.

      To the letter writer, I wouldn’t push the issue, I’d let him know that you value sexual relations in a relationship and just move on. Don’t try to save him.

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  11. Selena Says:

    I found this piece from a commenter on another forum earlier. If it is NOT from the NY Times, please correct. And give appropriate credit to the author.

    The New York Times said it better than I could this morning:

    After a year and a half of erratic tweets and rambling speeches, we can’t be certain. We don’t know how Mr. Trump would carry out basic functions of the executive. We don’t know what financial conflicts he might have, since he never released his tax returns, breaking with 40 years of tradition in both parties. We don’t know if he has the capacity to focus on any issue and arrive at a rational conclusion. We don’t know if he has any idea what it means to control the largest nuclear arsenal in the world.

    Here is what we do know: We know Mr. Trump is the most unprepared president-elect in modern history. We know that by words and actions, he has shown himself to be temperamentally unfit to lead a diverse nation of 320 million people. We know he has threatened to prosecute and jail his political opponents, and he has said he would curtail the freedom of the press. We know he lies without compunction.

    Richard, this sums why some of us are concerned and disheartened by the recent election results.

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  12. Lucy Says:

    I live in Scotland and I see events oversee as similar to developments in the UK. There is decline in manufacturing and working class discontent in areas which were industrial heartlands. At the same time, working class interests are not represented by left wing politics and politicians are seen increasingly as a hypocritical elite they can’t relate to. In Scotland, our Labour Party lost nearly all of its parliamentary seats in the 2015 Election. It seems like politics has taken a different direction, similar to what’s happening in mainland Europe and the USA.

    Anyway, back to the OP’s question. I would be worried as well if I were her. I wonder if he, if not religious, has been brought up religiously so gets nervous about sex. Either that or something has happened in his past which resonated with him in such a way that he feels disrespectful being too forward with women.

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  13. wishing u well Says:

    Frankly I am still mentally shifting gears. It hurts to see how much things have not changed in spite of all of the progress. Being forced into the opposite direction is not an acceptable option. My parents are older and quite literally were involved in the civil rights movement, and I am willing to fight. It’s time to get involved.

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  14. Noquay Says:

    The only good thing to come from this election is that folks will once again become involved in political/environmental/women’s rights/social justice causes. We a a country tend to be reactionary rather than action-ary. As I came from and lifted myself out of poverty, I can attest that the working class way of life is gone and nothing Trump does can save it. We do not have a manufacturing sector any more and even former blue collar jobs are highly mechanized, requiring skill and education. One cannot expect to be able to attain a well paying job right out of high school and support a family on it; the harsh reality of today. Those hurting folks that supported Trump are in for a huge letdown.
    As for the actual topic of this post, the OP should stop being available to this dude on demand and see what happens. If asked why, use your big girl words and tell him. Doesn’t matter whether he is ultra religious (unlikely), impotent (likely), or unattracted, the OPs needs are not being met.

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  15. Brad Says:

    People are tired of being told how to think. People are tired of being shamed because they don’t accept group think and ‘play ball’ so to speak. People are tired of being told to be tolerant of others, yet they themselves aren’t tolerated if their stances on issues don’t fall in line with the media, elitist, or liberal narrative.

    The people said enough is enough.

    Combine that with a democratic party that was proven to game the system and sabotage they’re own, and the results really aren’t that much of a surprise.

    Calling people stupid for exercising their right probably won’t help.

    -College-educated white guy

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  16. Yvonne Says:

    If the OP is having very heavy make-out sessions, what happens? They just stop short of going further and neither one says a word about it? That in itself is hard to believe. Don’t these two communicate abut important issues like sex?

    To the guy who said Trump is much less “trigger-happy” than Clinton, you must have missed it when Trump stated publicly that he might use nuclear weapons, and wondered why we make them if we’re not going to use them.

    Trump’s election is the result of white backlash/racism, a deeply-rooted misogyny, the DNC propping up a less popular candidate over a left-wing populist (Trump’s a right-wing populist), media irresponsibility and the perpetuation of false equivalency between the two candidates. What happened to real, important issues like climate change? Lost in the shuffle. Trump’s policies are extremely unformed and weak.

    We are about to enter a very different world. Are you scared yet?

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  17. Jeff Smith Says:

    “They’ve shouted down anyone who wanted border controls as racist ”
    Well, that’s just not true. We all want border controls. In fact Obama deported more people than ever (holds the record), and really we are all ok with that.
    For refugees, we have a very detailed and rigorous vetting process. It was not border control that’s at issue – it’s the statement that all muslims would be banned – which violates our constitution. The truth is, our actions created many of the refugees, and some of us feel that it is our duty to help out here.

    “she would be willing to use nuclear weapons against Iran if it were to launch a nuclear attack on Israel.” is the quote. Whether she really would have idk, you need to at least give the belief that you would. That’s how deterrents work. It’s a moot point anyway, as I am sure Israel would handle the counter strike.

    “Make sure we are well defended and able to take the fight to those who go after us. As president I will make it clear that we will treat cyber attacks just like any other attack,” Clinton said.
    “We will be ready with serious political, economic, and military responses.”

    I’m a peacenik myself, but I agree that is certainly the stance I would take. In general, I *think* most Americans would too.

    “Is America really so backward on race?”
    Yes it is, surprisingly. America is very diverse, and racism, anti-semitism and the like are here in no small numbers.

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  18. UWSGal Says:

    On the subject: my guess would be the guy likely has some sort of erectile dysfunction and/or anxiety around his performance issues or his size or something.

    On the elections: definitely a surprising outcome. I think I understood the angst of the people in the middle of the country correctly, but I didn’t actually expect them to turn out and vote. They did. Coastal elites (myself included) deserve a slap in the face for treating the majority of hard working people as irrelevant “deplorables” and letting this sense of superiority define our policies. I actually think Trump policies will be very rational. He’s a businessman after all. I, for one, very much look forward to having less of my income confiscated through taxes and spent on promoting “democracy” in tribal societies in the ME. Color my cynical. I’d like to see pro-growth policies domestically, and i think we will see it very soon (just check the stock market indexes..)

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  19. The D-man Says:

    I don’t have anything to say about the election that hasn’t already been said. But some might want to read this explanation (from October) of the Trump phenomenon. I grew up in the rural South and it rings true to me.

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/

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  20. AnnieNonymous Says:

    I’d write this guy off as the type of guy who’s under 30 and still hasn’t moved on to Tinder. He doesn’t know how dating works and clearly has a bunch of social issues since he’s happy to go along with this arrangement. OP is 28. She needs to get off the sites that people her age only use when they’re not attractive or socially adept enough for Tinder.

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  21. Zaire Says:

    I’m not shocked at Trump’s win. As a black woman living in the South how could I be? Lol. I’m in graduate school and all my peers were shocked but the writing was on the wall for those paying attention. The way the DNC handled the Sanders nomination and the subsequent Wikileaks is what sealed Clinton’s fate. Many Sanders supporters stayed home in protest. They weren’t going to vote 3rd party and they certainly didn’t want Trump.

    Not to mention Clinton didn’t really give working or lower middle class whites a reason to vote for her. Trump really spoke to those people despite him being no near them socioeconomically. Liberals could tell you 101 (mostly valid) reasons not to vote Trump. But that’s not good enough to make someone get up and vote in favor of Clinton.

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  22. Jeff Smith Says:

    Zaire,
    You make some great points. Sadly, in general the dems would have done a better job for them.
    Historically, we create more jobs, grow the economy faster, have fewer
    recessions etc.
    Jobs:
    6,566 Franklin D. Roosevelt Democrat
    8,781 Harry S. Truman Democrat
    2,729 John F. Kennedy Democrat
    8,895 Lyndon B. Johnson Democrat
    8,601 Jimmy Carter Democrat
    19,662 Bill Clinton Democrat
    7,765 Barack Obama Democrat
    62,999

    1,556 Dwight D. Eisenhower Republican
    5,254 Richard Nixon Republican
    2,235 Gerald Ford Republican
    13,621 Ronald Reagan Republican
    1,084 George H. W. Bush Republican
    -338 George W. Bush Republican
    23,412
    Other ways we do better:
    http://www.princeton.edu/~mwatson/papers/Presidents_Blinder_Watson_July2014.pdf
    But hey, let’s build a wall.

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  23. K Says:

    I think you do have to bring it up. What else do you do? Just continue along? If that was an option, you probably wouldn’t be writing in. Break up with him and not tell him why? I think you should ask. He either tells you something you can deal with (I’m older than you so the things I could deal with aren’t many) or he doesn’t communicate well as some others have noted and that should end things as well. 3-4 months is plenty, if not beyond, a reasonable time to wait to bring something like this up.

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  24. John Says:

    OK so a female president wasn’t elected. How about some kudos for the first female to run a successful presidential campaign?

    While not as sexy as the presidency, Kellyanne Conway being the first female to run the campaign and winning should be worth something, no?

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 9

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    • ATWYSingle Says:

      No, because she was the same person that said woman wouldn’t be sexually harassed if they were tougher.

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      • John Says:

        This is the reason why the Dems lost- your rationale is backwards.

        Conway did an amazing job and something a woman never pulled off before. But you dismiss it because of that comment. Yet Clinton’s actions (or non action) got people killed in Benghazi. And a bad decision which gets people killed and lying about it is less of a crime that some silly comment? In your eyes it is. That’s poor judgement and hamster wheeling at its best.

        You are not an advocate for women. Because I am sure if Conde Rice or Sarah Palin ran for President you would not vote for them. Because they are Republicans. In your mind, a woman’s accomplishments are valid if they are within the Democratic party.

        The Democratic party is becoming irrelevant. In 2018, the Dems have 23 seats up for reelection and the Repubs only 8. Which means the liberal party thinking is going the way of the Blackberry as you will lose more seats.

        And the reason why is because its main supporters such as you are not changing with the times. If you lived in England you would have voted to stay in the EU. Brexit and Trump are examples of the fact that your way of thinking is old school.
        As a Republican, it is low competition.

        8 years ago when Repubs lost control of presidency, house and senate, they stepped back and made changes. That was evident in the mid term elections the past 8 years. But you guys riot in the streets and insist your way is the only way.
        I cant wait to see how you and your Democratic friends become unhinged when Roe v Wade gets overturned.

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        • ATWYSingle Says:

          But you dismiss it because of that comment.

          Yes, because she was victim blaming. She’s one of the many self-loathing white women who voted for Trump. She didn’t accomplish anything. The country was a groundswell of hate waiting for an opportunity to unleash its wrath. She just happened to be there. Do you really think Trump respected her? She was likely on that team because she was an intensely average looking woman and it made him look less like a pig if he had a woman in a position of power.

          As for the protests, are you trying to say the conservatives didn’t protest? Trump himself had a meltdown on Twitter when Obama won re-election, saying it was a travesty and we weren’t a democracy. He’s the one who led the charge and made up lies demanding Obama prove he was born here. Republicans protested Obama’s election and carried signs calling him a monkey. Did you just forget those incidents?

          You guys voted for a con man who lied to you and who is already backtracking on his promises. You boobs are so stupid: he never wanted to win. He’s terrified now because he does not want that job. He’s not going to last. The information you people dispense and believe; your total lack of reading comprehension and ignorance: you got yourselves into this. We might be crying now, but it’s a matter of time before the joke’s on you.

          I cant wait to see how you and your Democratic friends become unhinged when Roe v Wade gets overturned.

          You think overturning Roe vs. Wade only affects us? Seriously, how stupid are you? You’re not thinking beyond women not having any bodily dignity or control. You think you own us. The idea that you think women should bear the burden of carrying their rapist’s child or carry a baby to term knowing it will die shows how much you hate yourself and women.

          You guys are all so happy now that you’re oblivious to the fact that his platform actually affects you guys as much as it does us. You guys ignored his threats to cut back on government jobs and that his tax plan actually benefits the rich literally 10x more than it does the middle class and screws over single parents. All you heard was he’d build a wall and lock women up for having abortions because you’re all hateful racist misogynistic bigots. You’re time is coming, stupid. You people are just too filled with hate to see it.

          Oh, and he’s never making it through the term. He’ll resign or be impeached.

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        • KK Says:

          Im reading this because….i dont know why. But…are you serious? Clinton made mistakes while Secretary of State. TRUMP HAS NEVER HELDVA POLITICAL OFFICE. Ever. Thete is nothing impressive about a woman running a presidential campaign when it was based on hate mongering. It is a disgrace.

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        • Timothy Horrigan Says:

          Dude, you are speaking on behalf of conservative men when you yourself are a conservative man. In so doing, you have just played the man card. That’s right: YOU ARE PLAYING THE MAN CARD.

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        • Zaire Says:

          Dems lost because they didn’t rule a populist. Billary are corporate democrats and act like republicans on economics and crime but are liberal regarding pseudo social issues. They are fake republicans. If given a choice between a brazen conservative and fake liberal people will pick the brazen conservative. People want the real thing, or in Trump’s case the perceived real thing.

          I was watching FOX news on Election Day and one of the pundits said exit polling indicated people actually wanted more liberal policies. The DNC alienated its base (actual liberals and working/middle class) and went too establishment and that was what led to this political upset (if you can call it that).

          Also I agree with Moxie Trump was showing out and didn’t actually want to win. He was expecting to lose that night evidenced by where he chose to give his speech. Personally I think he’ll
          1. put Republican establishment members into his cabinet and let them run the show 2. Experience a “health crisis” and step down
          3. He’ll actually be engaged but mostly sign legislation that helps the rich and large corporations and not run for reelection and go back to the private sector.

          Either way the Trump Train is coming whether we like it or not. I’m not too worried, America has seen far worse and made it through. If we’re lucky the administration will be run like The Apprentice. At least we’ll have some entertainment.

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  25. Dave Says:

    Advice to the OP:

    Instead of analyzing and wondering why he isn’t sleeping with you, just take the initiative and initiate sex. You will both be glad you did. If he’s not interested, and you can’t bring yourself to seduce him, you have your answer.

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  26. Timothy Horrigan Says:

    To get back to the topic: the guy may have a chronically inflamed prostate which hurts when he gets too excited. His bladder may be chronically irritated as well. These conditions are treatable, but painful. Urologists see this sort of thing all the time.

    To get political again, he better have it looked at before Trump takes his ObamaCare away.

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