Question: Why would a guy not be interested in spending the night aka having sex? I’ve been dating a guy I met online for about 3-4 months. We like each other, we talk/text every day, we’ve met each others friends, and go out every weekend. I’ve been to his place and he’s been to mine – we’ve also had some very heavy make out sessions, but never “done the deed” so to speak.
We went out to a nearby city two weekends ago for the day, and he dropped me off at my house around midnight. I asked him if he wanted to spend the night or if he was too tired to drive home, but he said he was fine and headed back. I’ve talked to him since then and seen him since then – nothing is different. I just kind of don’t understand why he hasn’t tried to make a bigger move, beyond making out. Am I thinking too much into why he doesn’t want to spend the night?
The first thing you need to do is ask him what’s up. Three to four months without sex is atypical. There could be some religious reasons for why he’s not sleeping with you. Or he might be struggling with some physiological issues. He could be gay. Or he’s just not that into you and doesn’t have the balls to tell you. I’m guessing it’s option number four.
It’s possible that you and this guy aren’t even really dating. You think you are because you spend all this time together and he shows you the kind of attention we assume only a man romantically interested in us would display. My personal opinion is that if you’re not sleeping together and there are no extenuating issues (medical, religious, etc) then you’re not dating, you’re just friends that kiss. He might be afraid to speak up and define what’s going on because he knows he’s let the charade go on for so long.
I’d be confused, too. It’s not fun to feel rejected, and that’s what he’s doing to you. He’s rejecting you. You need to get to the bottom of that before you experience real damage from being continuously turned away.
SIDE NOTE: Feel free to share your thoughts on the election in the comments. I am heartbroken. We were so close and I fear a woman will ever get that close to becoming President for a very long time. We have elected a man who has shown time and again he does not respect or value women, people of color, or the LGBQT community. Trump winning was punishment for having a man of color run this country. I am saddened and afraid.