Nothing Sexier Than A Mansplaining Cry-Baby

cry-baby

 

Name: Harry Winston
:
Question: For all the single women wanting to remain that way. Some helpful suggestions:

Ignore a guy who tries in a nice way to start a conversation.

When out in public wear your headphones, ear buds or text.

When on a internet dating site. Write a profile inviting guys to write you. Then don’t reply to them when they do.

When outside be with your girlfriend. Who will block you from meeting guys.

Go to a singles event with your girlfriend and don’t leave her side. Be sure to talk to other women and get their phone number. A girl never has enough girlfriends. This will prevent you from making any significant contact with any males.

Hold out for a successful wealthy man. This will pretty much
guarantee you will remain single the rest of your life. These men
are few and prefer supermodels who they can buy with ease.

Continue to believe falsely that men will be impressed by your
$$$job, Manhattan co-op, love of travel and having lived in a
foreign country.

Don’t keep your wantlist short realistic and follow it. This will
only tell people you are serious about finding a
relationship.

Seek a much younger fellow. Who will use you. Then toss you over
for a much more attractive, much younger female.

Don’t believe men are very visual and time isn’t on your
side.

Tell everyone you want a nice, honest guy. As we all know these
guys are dull and boring. Instead choose a lying, cheating,
verbally, physically abusive man. These men are more interesting
and exciting. It will give you more to tell your girlfriends and
therapist.

Search for a male clone of yourself. This is a good way to waste
your time.

Warning! Don’t be attractive , down to earth, friendly and able to
be please by reasonable effort. This will lead to an unwanted
relationship.

On dating sites lie about your age. But your good photo will show
the truth.

Now you can tell your family and friends that you can’t meet a
nice, normal guy. It will be true.

These suggestions come from years of studying single women who say
they want to meet a guy. But aren’t having any luck.
Age: 60

 

Thoughts?

AndThatsWhyYoureSingle.com

BuffsandBrainiacs.com

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24 Responses to “Nothing Sexier Than A Mansplaining Cry-Baby”

  1. Bethany Says:

    Hahahahahahaha! Oh, the plight of the poor nice guy.

    Funny, sounds like he’s having just as much problems with dating as the women he’s describing. But it couldn’t possibly be his fault!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 43 Thumb down 1

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  2. Myself Says:

    Whah….whah….whah…..whatever. Men make the same mistakes as women and the same as above if not worse. Sympathy currently at zeeero

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 1

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  3. fuzzilla Says:

    My thoughts are a very short response article:

    Men – how to stay single!

    Constantly target women way out of your league, get pissed that they ignore you, write bitter letter about it to ATWYS.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 52 Thumb down 2

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  4. DrivingMeNutes Says:

    This post is a turkey and someone needs to beat the stuffing out of it. I am grateful to Moxie for this year’s inspiring thanksgiving post.

    Actually, speaking of mansplaining, I think this was intended as humor though it certainly reads more like the manifesto of a bitter old man. To the extent you want to take it seriously, the main fallacy of this type of unsolicited advice is that it assumes that the people who are committing the dating/relationship “no nos” are the same people that are “complaining” about being single. I think it’s safe to assume, for example, that an adult woman wearing her headphones in a public place is fully aware that she is not likely to be approached by suitors and likely intends that consequence.

    All that said, if you are in fact doing the things cited in this submission and are also complaining about being single, then yeah, duh, stop doing those things.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 1

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  5. HerGuyFriday Says:

    Yeah, it is mansplaining.

    But seriously, women: stop putting those stupid animal cartoon faces on your Tinder profile pics.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

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  6. Bryan Says:

    You know… I like it. It’s funny and with a LOT of truth in it… don’t you know?

    I made this two years ago for laughs. BUT, there’s a LOT of truth in it:

    ================================

    Dear Women On Various Dating Sites,

    What compels you to put up photos like that? I mean, really. Did you just come in from a dust storm, sit on a TACK and take the photo?

    Why is your “smile” a frown? Why can’t you get it that you can ALWAYS take another DIGITAL photo with your PHONE?!!!!

    And, what is with the ONLY photo of you being a mile-and-a-half away? Do I really need to break out my electron microscope to determine which is the tree and which is YOU?!

    What’s with all of the photos of your CAT or CATS? Look, I have a cat, so I get it. But, this is a dating site and the fact that you are posting cats playing with cats… or photos of flowers, food and whatnot… I just don’t care, okay? Just a good photo of YOU, alright?

    I mean how hard *IS* this, ladies?

    Oh…! Here’s a hint: If you want us to actually SEE your face, try NOT holding your stupid phone in FRONT of your face while you take the picture. Refer to the paragraph above where I state: “You can ALWAYS take another DIGITAL photo with your PHONE!!!!”

    Take it again and again until you get it right. It costs you nothing but ELECTRONS. So, just DO IT.

    And, I do NOT find it “artistic” when all you do is post over-the-shoulder shots where all I see is one eye. Photos with hair covering your face, well… are you in the Witness Protection Program or hiding from your husband or boyfriend (or both)?

    Oh, yeah… when you post photo after photo of you in a group of women and you NEVER say which one YOU are, well… who am I supposed to be, The Amazing Kreskin? Am I supposed to just *know* through sheer psychic force which one of you is the REAL person in the profile?!

    Look, this online dating thing is hard enough. People lying and posting old photos and lying. Why are you making this so tough?

    Yes, I know the guys are posting photos of themselves taking a photo in the bathroom mirror where you can see how filthy their bathroom is. Geez.

    Yes, I get that they post photos of themselves in a baseball cap and sunglasses. Or shirtless.

    Yes, I get people are IDIOTS online.

    But, I ask you: Why are you making this so tough on yourself?

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 10 Thumb down 27

    Reply

    • fuzzilla Says:

      Eh, fair enough. Women complain about the same things, more or less. I have more sympathy for someone bitching about how frustrating online dating is than someone who sits around bitching about absolutely everything women (or men) do. Like, duh, a woman with headphones on is just going about her day and could be married or gay for all you know. Reading anything negative into something so innocuous is entirely on you.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 1

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    • Nia Says:

      Probably some of this can be explained by the following advice:

      “Show a picture of you doing something you love! Something active!” Then they choose the mountain climbing picture.

      “Show your whole body!” They choose a picture with their friends, since it was taken by someone who got them head to toe and looking cute on a night out dancing.

      “Show your whole face, facing front” (that’s where you get the “phone in face” photos.

      “Don’t use a picture that is the best picture ever taken of you. When the guy shows up, he’ll be let down.” Then they put up the one where they ran through a dust storm and sat on a tack and then took a picture–hey it’s real!

      The thing is, taking good photos is an art. Taking good selfies is an art too. Most women and men for that matter, have heard and seen hundreds of complaints about the type of photos they shouldn’t put up. But then they have to take a new one, upload it to the computer, save it, and then upload it to the site. So instead of all that (sigh) they’ll just use the same 4 annoying pictures they have on their desktop: them with friends, them on a mountaintop or running a race, their cat, and a picture where they aren’t smiling but their hair, skin, and face looks great!

      Finally, I’m someone who’s mouth turns down slightly by genetics. I also have a small mouth and apple cheeks. When I have a full smile in photos it’s not super flattering–my eyes disappear, and my face looks chubby and “off”. I do try to have a slight smile but I often go with a relaxed, neutral look, rather than a smile which I consider to not be that photogenic. Other women may find they show off not so perfect teeth, double chins, they “lose” their eyes, or they just feel weird popping a big grin in a selfie!

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 2

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      • Eliza Says:

        Thanks Nia! I second that…and agree. Not all of us are photogenic, or know how to take a selfie like a Kardashian! lol….I agree, the duck face is a bit overdone by now, but obviously women are trying to put their best face forward. PS…men OR women with headphones is something absurd to bitch about–since 99.9% of people on the train, walking to/from the train or going about their business are plugged in–in their zone with their music to motivate. I have been asked to remove my headphones a few times in order to hear someone ask me a question. It took me by surprise–but it has been done and can still be done if someone is so inclined.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

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  7. No Disrespect Says:

    This is the most original perspective I’ve ever read. Every bullet point is on point. I’m certain that everyone who reads this tribe will be paired up by month’s end.

    PS: We know it’s op who is down voting every critical comment.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1

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  8. BTownGirl Says:

    I love how this dude chose “Harry Winston” as a name. Pumpkin, you’re more like the Zales of dudes.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 2

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  9. Mark Says:

    ???

    Hey, dating is tough. For whatever reason. That applies equally to men and women.

    But to complain about it?

    No sympathy. At least from this quarter.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

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  10. Yvonne Says:

    News flash: men are just as guilty of making similar dating mistakes. Complaining makes YOU look bad, not those whom you are complaining about.

    <>

    In other words, I was just kidding, but…not really. Now add to your list of dating no-nos: passive-aggression.

    Enjoy the turkey, don’t be one.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

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  11. Yvonne Says:

    This was supposed to read:

    “I made this two years ago for laughs. BUT, there’s a LOT of truth in it”

    In other words, I was just kidding, but…not really. Now add to your list of dating no-nos: passive-aggression.

    Enjoy the turkey, don’t be one.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

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  12. Bree Says:

    60 years old, bitter as hell, obviously influenced by MRA and PUA rhetoric, and undoubtedly a misogynist. That is why *HE* is still single.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

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  13. Parenting Says:

    You’ll die miserable and alone if you dont engage every guy in conversation, have your headphones on in public, and invite guys to write to you in your profile then ignore them when they do?

    Wow. Is the author one of those guys who gets angry when a woman rejects his advances right after he asked her if she has a boyfriend and she told him “no”?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

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  14. BRM Says:

    What many people don’t realize who are so unhappy alone is you’ll die alone no matter what but you might have some folks around to watch or not. In any case you have to be happy with yourself or a relationship just becomes a band aid.

    I think genetically speaking it’s much easier for men to be happy alone. All the single women I know are fairly miserably by themselves and need a man to be happy. Funny thing is eventually people who are not happy alone will be twice as miserable in a relationship they just don’t know it yet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 6

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    • KK Says:

      Yeah, I REALLY don’t get this whole fear about dying alone. Unless people die together, we all die alone. Also, it’s a little weird that women tend to talk about dying alone a lot more often since generally in hetero relatiosnhips, the man dies first.

      However, men are not genetically it is not easier for men to be alone. First of all, study after study has found that men do far worse single than men do. Some studies have found that single women are happier than coupled-up women, others have found reverse. But all studies find that single men are worse off, regardless of how good the relationship is. I think the issues are that women are socially programmed to think that single is the worst. There is a far greater social pressure for women to couple up than for men.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

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      • Eliza Says:

        I agree with KK…don’t know what the fear is all about? By the time you are 70, or 80…who has the energy to deal with the non-sense anymore. You have your close friends, some family members (hopefully) – to be by your side. If possible, when you pass. I find it’s all relative. If you are a man or woman–coupled with someone as toxic as cancer…guess what? You are going to be stressed, age quickly and have a heart attack perhaps! It doesn’t pay off to succumb to the societal pressure of “being with someone”, to validate your worth. Absurd. That idea that social pressure is mostly on women is changing too.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

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      • UWSGal Says:

        I’ve lost 3 relatives in the last 3 years and they all lived surrounded by their family, friends, grown kids, etc. and all three died alone. One in the hospital while the family was sent away till the next morning by the doctors, two in their homes when they were by themselves. My take: I am over the whole dying alone thing. As Clooney’s character put it in “up in the air”: “Make no mistake, we all die alone. Now those cult members in San Diego, with the sneakers and the Kool-Aid, they didn’t die alone. I’m just saying there are options.”

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

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  15. Mandy Says:

    Men and women alike, it’s frustrating to watch someone complain about being single if they’re not taking any reasonable actions to find a partner, or complain about the type of person they’re with if they’re not doing anything to find someone different. It’s the same frustration as when you listen to someone complain that they’re poor/broke while shopping or spending a lot of money on eating out, etc.

    But the thing is, some people have plenty of money, and some people are happy single. The poster comes off like such a jerk because he’s assuming every woman is looking for a man. Sometimes we just like to wear headphones or hang out with our friends!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

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    • Eliza Says:

      Mandy – the thing is, a person can be doing “all the right things”, and saying all the right things, have a positive vibe–and STILL not meet someone they feel connected to enough to sustain a long-term relationship with. Such is life. It’s just not in the cards for all of us. But complaining and generalizing about the opposite gender does nothing to change that fact. And some people, inspite of how much money they do have–are STILL miserable. And single. The old bitter geezer harping on things will just remain bitter…and alone. Nobody wants to be around that.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

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  16. Anonymous Says:

    Sixty years of bitterness is a looooong time!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

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  17. AAORK Says:

    These are valid points. Sure, they can also apply to men but isn’t this a site most heavily populated by women? The dismissive “men do it too!” reaction is just a convenient avoidance of the self-evaluation required to grow. Seems to me the message should be where it’s audience is. However, the vitriolic comments here all focus on what is LEAST about (the poster) instead of the validity of the points themselves. And what’s with the default “he’s bitter” retort? This is such a common reply I see from women when they see something they don’t like. That and the other knee-jerk responses like “MRA/PUA” and “misogynist”. Never mind even considering the points being made. Wouldn’t the smart move be to at least consider the opinions of the gender you wish to attract?? Or am I making a hetero-assumption here? Or maybe a more accurate description of this site would “How To Remain Single”? Rhetorical I suppose ..

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

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