Question: Hi ATWYS,
I posted this about 2 weeks ago, and I’m not sure if you got it, so I’m sending it again.
I have been actively looking for a partner for two and a half years, and haven’t had a second date with anyone I felt good about. I approach dating on the basis that it takes time to build rapport and attraction, so always accept second and third dates (within reason) but none have blossomed into a relationship so far.
My lifestyle is pretty adventurous – my business allows me to spend large chunks of the year in some great overseas locations, and I often spend 3-4 months in one location before moving on to another. This has led to some amazing experiences, and I’ve met some fantastic people, but there haven’t been any romantic adventures so far.
Last year, I decided to stay in the US to find a relationship, and after 12 months of online dating, speed dating, going to relationship coaches, attending seminars, buying products related to attracting men, and approaching / fliritng with men in real life, I haven’t met anyone with “relationship potential” I have now made peace with the fact that I won’t get what I’m looking for.
By relationship potential, I mean someone I can see myself spending a lot of time with. Enjoying holidays with the family together, travelling together, having fun and supporting ourselves through life. I believe in investing time to get to know the guy better, but if there’s no platonic attraction, I don’t see the point in taking things further.
Ideally, I’d love to meet someone who I can do all the above with, and whose work allows him to travel with me. An entrepreneur, full-time blogger, freelance writer… an adventurous guy who ditched the 9 to 5 to be the master of his own destiny. Deep down though, I know that a man like that in the 40-55 age group can easily attract a younger, more attractive woman. In fact, I’ve met them while travelling, and they have their pick of very young exotic beauties.
I’m ready to resume my travels and focus on work again, but family and friends are pleading for me to stay and keep on trying. When I explain that the options available to me are limited, and that my ideal man has the pick of younger and prettier women, they look upset and say things like “if you had more self-esteem/confidence, you would have attracted him by now”.
Logically I know that I can either lower my standards and force myself to make a relationship work with a man I won’t be happy with, or carry on with my previous nomadic life, be open to meeting new people, use the skills I’ve learned in the US, and let whatever happens to happen (even if that’s nothing).
The second option sounds more realistic. What do you think?
Should She Travel The World Or Settle?
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