Do They Have An Open Marriage Or Is He Just Cheating?

Oh, NY Post. Never change.

This Hasidic couple’s kinky open marriage could get them ‘shunned forever’

Here’s my favorite part of this interview. They post the Tinder profiles of this couple and the man’s profile pic is just of his naked torso and nothing else. His wife’s picture? Oh, she’s half-naked from the waist up with a teensy tiny eeny weeney black bar across her eyes.

If all goes well on a date, they decide together how to proceed.

“Sometimes we’re both interested in someone, or sometimes just one of us is,” Monica said.

Their extramarital dalliances first began about 10 years ago, after James started flirting with a non-Jewish waitress who worked at a restaurant where he did business. After several weeks of instant-messaging with her, James was wracked with guilt. He confessed to Monica, hoping she wouldn’t be heartbroken.

Her reaction shocked him.

“I was excited by it,” Monica said. “It turned me on to know another woman desired my husband.”

As they talked about it, they realized they both craved sexual and emotional relationships outside their marriage.

They started slowly, getting “happy-ending” massages together, attending fetish parties and flirting.

Four years later, James had his first affair — with his married, Hasidic assistant.

“She’s very seductive and fit. One day I came over to fix something at her place. She immediately grabbed me and took me to her bedroom,” James said.

Now, I am no expert when it comes to swinging or open relationships. But I have read many, many, (ugh) MANY xoJane essays on this tedious topic. Ergo, that makes me qualified to say,” Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit.”

Like the xoJane essays, one might infer from this story that these two opened up their marriage at the husband’s request because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. The woman goes along with it because she’s a Cool Girl and Cool Girls love hearing about how their boyfriends fuck other women and having threeways. Notice how the article makes multiple references to the husband screwing whomever he pleases, but never mentions all the sex Monica is having. Know why that is?

BECAUSE SHE’S NOT HAVING ANY.

“We don’t have jealousy,” Monica said. “We never got to date people, so that made it easier for us.”

They even encourage love affairs with others.

“It’s been so beautiful to watch [Monica] fall in love with someone else,” James said.
Monica needs emotional connections with others before getting physical.

“She’s all about talking and vibing well with someone,” James said.

James has a taste for S&M and for the uninhibited random encounters that can come from sex outside the marriage. “If I’m with a woman and we want to have sex in the park, we can,” he said.

I might not be well-versed in poly lingo despite all those banal xoJane essays written by average looking women desperate to show off the fact that they can get more than one guy to fuck them. However, I’m pretty sure there’s a difference between “open relationship” and “poly.” Falling in love with other people isn’t part of the open marriage plan, as far as I know. What these two actually have is a you’re average stale, boring marriage where one person wants to fuck everything with a hole and a heart beat and the other person goes along with it but doesn’t have a ton of sex because, well, she’s not really thrilled about this arrangement in the first place.

Thoughts?

 

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11 Responses to “Do They Have An Open Marriage Or Is He Just Cheating?”

  1. KK Says:

    I just read the article. Where did you get that she isn’t having sex?

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    • KK Says:

      It seems like the couple IS in an open marriage and…..I don’t know. They seem jerky to me

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  2. Bree Says:

    Sounds about right.

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  3. Parenting Says:

    “The couple chooses to remain part of the insular [Hasidic] community because “we don’t want to lose our family. We would be shunned.’

    But they are willing to tisk all to share their story.”

    Huh?

    The husband was clearly the instigator but I cant tell from the article if its all him straying or if she is into it too. Whatever the case, it sounds like their marriage is as much a facade as their religion. Stop pretending that you are “so kinky” and just admit that your marriage is over.

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  4. Yvonne Says:

    Hard to imagine living a life that is a complete deception in such an insular community, and somehow being able to hide that from older kids and family. How do they feel about teaching their kids to follow a religion that they themselves no longer believe in?

    Funny, the article says they met when she was 18 and he was 20, but their Tinder profiles show them as being the same age, so I guess James” is lying and is really 39? I wonder if “Monica” is actually a closeted lesbian? Also odd is the fact that they never get to “date people”, but yet James enjoys watching Monica fall in love with other “people”.

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    • Bree Says:

      Exactly. I’d bet James isn’t so cool about her “fallibg in love” with any MALE “people.”

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      • fuzzilla Says:

        Being cool with your partner falling in love with someone else and yet being confident that your relationship will stay strong is the true test of whether a relationship is truly polyamorous. Not many people would pass that test (I sure wouldn’t), so more often than not it boils down to one partner wanting to fuck around and the other just pretending to be cool with it.

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      • ATWYSingle Says:

        Notice too how he speaks for her. He’s banging everything that isn’t nailed down but she’s “vibing” with people. When she does fuck other people, it’s in threeways with him and another woman. She’s not okay with this arrangement. She’s going along with it to keep him happy.

        And bitch please with how worried they are about being outed. They’re DYING to get caught. Someone is going to recognize her from her photo.

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  5. BTownGirl Says:

    Of course the NYPost would jump all over this story when the couple involved is Jewish. Of course they would. Obviously these two are a hot mess and the entire situation is a WTF of epic proportions, but don’t think that this wasn’t printed to appeal to the anti-Semitic segment of their readership.

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  6. Dan Says:

    Monica did say that the idea of other women wanting to fuck James was a turn-on for her. She may be atypically low on the jealous/possessive spectrum.

    The typical pattern when people open up their marriage is for the man to be the instigator, but then the woman has a *much* easier time getting laid than the man, as is true in the rest of life. Why do you assume the well-known gender imbalance doesn’t apply here? If she’s not having at least as much sex as he is, it’s only because that’s not what she wants.

    Polyamorists who are happy with the arrangement say that they feel compersion; they get pleasure from the fact that their partners are getting pleasure, regardless of the source. There are also cuckold fetishists in the world, and not all of them are men, though the vast majority certainly are. There wouldn’t be a Wikipedia page for “cuckquean” if it weren’t a thing.

    Every couple gets to define their own marriage.

    The only part I find completely implausible is their stated desire to keep this a secret from their Hasidic community, while they’re willing to be interviewed for an article. Huh?

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