Why “If A Guy Did That…” Is Not a Thing


Neither of those guys approached you with an inappropriate salacious come on. One guy was maybe a little forward and the other was clearly making a joke – ie flirting. So, if those men are the options cited for supposedly “looking for sex” on your other site, I think you may have more options than you think.-DMN

Personally, I don’t think those comments were particularly rude. But, it’s really a separate issue. The issue as originally framed here is that these comments are rude yes but also that they make us feel bad because they reflect a focus on our bodies and not our minds or characters. I just don’t see a distinction between that and lusting publicly after a guy at the gym because you like his ass. I just can’t imagine the critique of a male blogger who publicly wrote this stuff about his gym crush. Lacks principle. That’s all. Carry on.- DMN

Okay. Let’s unpack these two comments. Starting with:

Neither of those guys approached you with an inappropriate salacious come on. (For context see the texts below.)



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6 Responses to “Why “If A Guy Did That…” Is Not a Thing”

  1. Bill Says:

    Moxie, you self-identify your conundrum:

    You seduce, but can’t/won’t flirt.

    You wait for “Gym Guy” to flirt, but won’t even give him the eye contact invitation/permission to do so, but are turned off when men attempt to seduce.

    If gym guy were to “barge” in on your workout, uninvited, to flirt/seduce, he basically becomes those other guys, i.e. rude.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0


  2. ATWYSingle Says:

    No shit. You’re regurgitating my words back to me. What’s your point?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 4


  3. Bill Says:

    Flirting is “calm strong”, it’s not being coy, fake innocent or submissive.

    Also, it’s a decision. Doing it well only looks easy… for most, it isn’t.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1


  4. Bill Says:

    NOT flirting is like cooling with no spices… sure, you make “food”, but…

    So, the best man/women analogy that I can think of is that few men are innately built for anywhere near enough foreplay for women. Even though we can’t completely “understand” this, we accept it… and if we have at least half a brain, we learn what we need to do and we do it. With a smile. Why? Because to not do so is pre-programmed failure. It’s a failure to accept and respect the difference between the sexes. Period. It’s immature. It’s selfish. It’s .

    If we’re lucky, we learn to enjoy it, but until then, we fake it until we make it. It’s a skill and a learned one at that.

    Flirting is the same.

    You know what you need to do… just do it!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0


    • fuzzilla Says:

      I don’t think she’s saying flirting is a dumb waste of time, just that she struggles with it.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1


      • Bill Says:

        I was trying to make a different point. Quoting from her article:

        “I do not know how to flirt. I know how to get a guy into bed and I know how to be their buddy. I have no understanding of what it means to play coy and demure. It’s not in my genetic make-up.”

        It’s not in most men’s genetic make-up to foreplay beyond, well, to be tactfully direct, the minimum necessary for insertion. Ditto giving oral sex, both frequency and duration, not to mention level of enthusiasm.

        I’d venture to guess that most women have encountered these dudes who are perpetually duds, and don’t count it as a good experience.

        For a guy to rise above this predisposition is a decision, and it takes time and effort to learn. It is an acquired skill.

        Ditto flirting for many women. And men really want flirting.

        Seduction has and end point, and that end point is sex. It is very much like going for P in V the instant there is “enough” lubrication.

        Then, the “chase” is over.

        With flirting, the chase is constant and repeating… a long, slow, teasing, building of tension until it’s unbearable… in the good way. :)

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1


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