I go on a date, things are going well, the attraction and arousal is present, but I keep that to myself. We pay the check and leave and the guy either offers to walk me home or he suggests going back to his place for a drink. I agree to either, still keeping my motivations for agreeing to myself. At no time do I invite him back to my place until we get to my door. Then and only then, after we’ve kissed, do I suggest he come upstairs. Even then, I’m cautious. I prefer that he brings it up and do what I can to get him to do so. It’s a tiresome charade, but it’s the one one that goes off without a hitch that doesn’t leave me feeling dirty afterwards.