Is Online Dating/Tinder/Bumble Still A Thing?

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I’m curious to hear if people are still using Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, etc. From the conversations I’ve had with people over the last couple of months, it seems like there’s a universal ennui of sorts floating around when it comes to online dating.

What’s your story? Are yous still giving online dating a try?

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19 Responses to “Is Online Dating/Tinder/Bumble Still A Thing?”

  1. UWSGal Says:

    I recently broke up with my b/f and went on match. I also went to one of their events. I got 5 first dates out of it so far (been about 3 weeks). Two 1st dates going on a 2nd, one is a no-go (zero chemistry) and 2 first dates are later this week. I tried swiping apps and they’re generally a waste of time. In my experience, most people use them to play hot or not, not actually make meaningful connections. However, my colleague recently moved in with a g/f he met on tinder. So this happens but i think so rarely that it makes it a bad return on invested time proposition. Another friend is using okcupid with little success.

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  2. mxf Says:

    I’m using OKC, I think it’s fine. I’m paying for the incognito thing this time, though, so using it differently than in the past. My profile is hidden unless I give someone access, so your pool starts at zero instead of the whole site. Every week or two I’ll go through a bunch of profiles and give a few access to my profile. If they visit I’ll start a conversation, or they will. It means a lot fewer points of contact, but the contact starts with a higher potential for interest on my side. And zero sexual innuendo messages, guys who rage because you haven’t answered fast enough, super young guys who tell me they have a ‘thing’ for older women (gosh, thanks), etc. If a conversation goes sideways, you just block them like normal. It’s working for me.

    I haven’t tried Bumble or Tinder.

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    • Emma Says:

      May I ask what the cost is for OKC’s Incognito feature? TIA!

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      • mxf Says:

        I’m paying 20 USD a month, although I think there were other options that were longer contracts for less. I think I went month to month because I wasn’t sure I’d like the service. But I do, even at almost 30CAD monthly. It’s a buck a day to feel a bit more like I’m using the site as the tool it’s intended as, instead of just reacting to it. I thought I’d worry about “missing” someone or whatever, but it’s yielding the same amount of dates with a lot less static in between. And you can flip it on and off at any time if you are in the mood to get some “hey/hi beautiful/sup” messages…

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  3. MissTee87 Says:

    I’m on Match and POF. I don’t get as much interest on Match as I do POF. I honestly think it’s a race thing, although I have no proof of that. POF has lots of crazys but there are a few good ones. I just haven’t found the one for me.

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  4. Beta Male Says:

    I continue using Tinder although I no longer expect much from it. All the profiles look the same (no seriously they do). One night after getting frustrated by the one word answers to my inquiries from one match, I pretty said “if you’re not interested why even respond.” She basically said my inquiries were just not that interesting. She was right.

    No we never met but I did learn a valuable lesson from that exchange. I realized if I cannot find anything to say based on what I see in the pictures and/or profile besides “hey” or a comment about appearance then swipe left. Yes that means a smaller likihood of getting a match but it may increase the likelihood of getting a date with those you match with. My next match I saw a picture which indicated a shared interest and started a conversation based on that. We went on a date a week later by alias there was no chemistry.

    Right now I’m just focused on meeting with friends and enjoying the upcoming summer activities. Yes I’m still swiping but it’s not the be all end all.

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    • EANx Says:

      While women talk of equality, most still want men to make the first move and take initiative. If you can’t charge hard after her, why would she want you to waste her time?

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 13

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      • Nia Says:

        Equality doesn’t really extend to the dating or romance realm, and most women and men recognize this. When women “talk” about equality they are generally referring to things like being included or represented during legislative discussions about reproductive and health rights, being paid equally for equal work, being offered family friendly policies, and things like sexual assault, rape, and DV being taken *seriously* by the police and society.
        Most women can differentiate between what they want politically and what they like romantically.
        Also, “charging hard” is not the same as being engaging, interesting, and interested. Charging hard is “Hi, hottie! Love those thick lips! Let’s go out tonight!” Ugh.
        Being interested and interesting is much more challenging, and requires a lot more work, and that’s what women are asking for in men.

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 10 Thumb down 1

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  5. Noquay Says:

    Alas, back on the dating scene after bf cheated and I cut all contact. Am on Match, eHarmony, Elite Singles. Put minimal profiles on OKC and POF and saw the same awful guys as I did three years ago. Have already cancelled my sub to Our Time (I’m 56) for the same reason. Also quitting PlanetEarthSingles as there’s no one remotely close. Unfortunately due to a really scary (unemployed, unhealthy) local dating pool, my only option is long distance if I want anyone even remotely compatible. This state is a mix of some really congested urban areas interspersed with far flung, very poor ex mining towns. Very few affordable, progressive communities.Tinder etc attracts too many of my students. Ewwww! Thus far, I have one date from Match lined up for tomorrow, and a few others from Elite Singles next week, and one from eHarmony and a few promising prospects. Am also prepping the house to sell out this summer at the earliest and next summer at the latest even though it means giving up a very high paying, secure job. Was going to relocate elsewhere next year regardless of rship status but was willing to move closer to bf. Looking for small, outdoor oriented communities that harbor older, active folk. Also trying to meet new folk IRL but that may be tricky this year as cheater bf and I run in the same circles, do and go to the same events. Entering running races he doesn’t know about or choosing distances longer than he does in order to meet new runners.

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    • fuzzilla Says:

      **Tinder etc attracts too many of my students. Ewwww!**

      Is there a way to set up your preferences so you don’t even see people not in your age range? I have no idea, never used Tinder (and sure, some students are older), but seems like that would be a good feature for precisely that reason.

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      • Beta Male Says:

        Seeing your teacher’s profile is weird even if you are within the same age range. The power dynamic is just too skewed.

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      • Noquay Says:

        Problem is, Fuzzila, are the dudes looking for an older woman. I need a feature that not only eliminates them but also men in my zip code. At 56, Tinder is not for me but I thought I’d be open-minded, give it a try. Lesson learned.

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  6. Speed Says:

    Online dating is a multibillion global industry that continues to grow very fast and with no apparent upper bound. TED talks, books, reams of research: a lot big brains are in this field, too (along with hucksters like the Spindels, of course).

    In the last chapter of “The Physics of the Future,” Michio Kaku interestingly enough devotes a large piece of writing as to how online dating will become the dominant form or dating over the coming decades.

    This is all well-known, and with all that, I think we can safely say that “online dating is still a thing.”

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  7. Annabelle Says:

    Yes, for a lack of better options.
    Tinder sucks: Most of my matches are fraudulent profiles.
    OkCupid: Overall just not much luck with it, a few dates over the past year.
    POF: Mixed bag. I have had a lot of dates from POF, including a couple guys with whom I’ve formed lasting friendships. However, no love connection.
    Match: I guess hope springs eternal, because I just signed up for a three-month membership today.
    My two longest relationships of the past two years have been with men I met outside of online dating. So, there’s that.

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  8. Nia Says:

    I used both Tinder and OKC when I first moved to my current town. I had some moderate success with both: a long term FWB from OKC (and about 4 million first dates to nowhere) and a few respectful, fun, cute hookups with Tinder. That was in 2013.
    In 2016, fresh off a bad breakup, I opened my OKC and Tinder and went with Bumble as well. I also put an ad on Craigslist. Hey, why not? (Well, y’all know why not, but I wanted to try it all, and I felt like maybe CL would have the offbeat guys I wanted. Oh it did alright!).
    Very little. A handful of super bland first dates, I did actually get a reasonable FWB from CL (that was what I wanted, and it was the first guy I met in person! I got very lucky).
    My biggest complaints were:
    Men who seemed like they really didn’t want to be there, or had nothing to say
    Men who seemed so alike they all blended into one big, bland “Eric, 43, recently divorced, loves microbreweries, ski-ing, my dogs, and just here to have fun!” Blah.
    Chatting that turned ugly in some way: heated arguments out of nowhere, insults, crude come-on’s, demands, guys asking pointed questions about really personal stuff…just a level of aggression and weirdness that wasn’t there in 2013.
    I shut down all my accounts, and took a breather, and wound up actually going for a close friend. We’re still together and it’s going well.

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  9. Dark Sarcasm Says:

    47 year old male, forced to use online dating (OK Cupid, POF, Tastebuds, Tinder) again because of the limited social opportunities for people of my age range in Boston (only so many speed dating & mixes you can go to).

    What I’m noticing is a complete lack of effort from women in their profiles. One picture, either an extreme close up or a picture taken from a distance. A one sentence profile. Or they state in their profile ‘I don’t do quick match/likes/”

    So if you won’t make the first move, won’t participate in ‘quick match/likes’, or don’t completely fill out your profile, why are you doing online dating?

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  10. AC Says:

    Tinder is officially useless. As in I can swipe right 1000 times and get no matches. That never used to happen until recently. I’m beginning to think no one takes it seriously anymore.

    Tried Bumble once about two years ago. I found it to be a headache and deleted the app almost immediately.

    I still use OKCupid. It is the best non paying option (Although I do pay the $9.99/month because you do get some perks with it). The problem I have run into more often than every is there are too many barely filled out profiles. Laziness seems to be at an all time high thanks to Tinder and the other apps. At least I can still get responses and dates with OKC so I am content with it as an option.

    I am seriously considering going back on Match this summer because, even at $30/month, it was a decent investment. More profile views, more legitimate responses to emails. Be careful about their “winks” though. Most are bogus or from people who are not serious about meeting anyone (there just for attention).

    POF- time waster central in the greater NYC area ( but allegedly a better option in more rural areas).

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    • Dark Sarcasm Says:

      Totally agree on the Match comment. When I was on there, everytime I switched out my profile pic, I’d get a ‘like.’ I’d write the women and get no response. After a few of these, I finally got one of these users to reply back: and she swore up and down she never ‘liked’ any of my pictures. I switched one pic and got another ‘like’ from this same female. Again, she swore she never liked any photos. I cancelled my subscription and swore I’d never use Match again.

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  11. Steve from the city next door Says:

    It appears to me that online is dead. From what I have seen it really peaked about 10 years ago and then another big up tick with the swipe right apps…but all that appears to have faded away. None of the people I have talked to recently say they are online.

    I have been using a local site but it isn’t that great and focuses on meeting in person.

    unfortunately meeting people in real life here sucks too.

    Earlier this year I realized in 2016 I had more no-shows & last minute cancellations then I did first dates.

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