Why Are You Auditioning Men To Eat Out Your Friend?

oral-sex-1

Look, I am not a prude. Not by any stretch. I used to teach blowjob classes, for fuck’s sake. But this crosses a line for me.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1483932024995250&id=194385670616565

Now, I’ve spoken with this guy once, the day after he got crucified in the comments of xoJane for writing this essay.   He’s the host and creator of The Manwhore Podcast, an hour or so long show about – you guessed it! – sex and polyamory and kink and whatnot. I didn’t get any sociopath vibes from him or anything, but something about this venture he’s taking on feels really icky. I don’t care if a woman wants to get eaten out by a football team. Go for it. In addition to the safe-sex logistics, what makes my skin itch is the idea that these strangers are coming from god knows what dark spaces on the internet to go down on a woman and then deconstruct the experience.

I am just approaching “get off my lawn” territory? I’m being judgmental and for that I feel bad. I’m supposed to be all sex-positive and shit, but there’s as aspect to this stunt that feels wrong. Not in any immoral or unethical way; if everybody is of legal age and gives consent, have at it. It’s more of a “what the hell are you thinking??” way. Like, what if the identities of everyone involved is made public? What if one of these guys has an STD? What if one of these guys turns out to be a lunatic?

Am I over-thinking this?

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6 Responses to “Why Are You Auditioning Men To Eat Out Your Friend?”

  1. Philly_Gal Says:

    No. This entire thing is creepy. My skin crawled throughout the whole video.

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  2. fuzzilla Says:

    I think the creepy part (assuming one wouldn’t reject the idea wholesale and is sex positive enough to be like, “Hey, they’re all consenting adults, so have at it”) is that it’s a man speaking FOR a woman. And not very nicely. “Don’t worry, she’ll be sanitary.” Um, what?

    I get that she might not want to show her face, but if privacy is an issue for you, why do this at all..? Anyway, it would be far less creepy if it was a woman speaking for herself about what she likes and doesn’t like, if the whole thing was very transparently on her terms. Kinda makes me wonder if she really wants to do this or was talked into it and wants to be seen as “cool” or something. It feels more like she’s being pimped out than an empowering woman on her empowering adventure.

    Anyway, I don’t really think it’s a “kids these days” kinda thing that is common, just some attention-seeking outliers.

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  3. fuzzilla Says:

    I guess the point is to critique and give feedback the men’s sexual techniques and prowess? That it’s more about sex in general than the woman specifically? Eh, I dunno.

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  4. Shawninco Says:

    I was definitely put off by some aspects of it until I too reminded myself to embrace sex positivity. What distracted me was the presentation – his apartment, his clothes, etc. I don’t know if that’s how he normally presents himself, but that largely contributed it to him coming off and cheap and a little sleazy. And yes, I hate to say it, but if he was more conventionally attractive, then he’d get less of the side-eye. Is it fair? No. Does it show self-respect for me to say that? No, but calling ourselves out is one of the best ways to grow, in my opinion.

    When he mentioned safe sex, my eyes and ears did perk and I was about to commend him. He mentioned gloves, which I had not considered, and then I thought the was going to mentioned dental dams, which would have impressed me. Nope. This man goes for mouthwash. While I’m no pathologist, I’m very confident that dental dams are a hell of a lot more protective then mouthwash. I thought that mentioning mouthwash as a “measure” of safe-sex was tacky and juvenile. Again, I could TOTALLY be wrong about the powers of mouthwash, but I doubt it. But again! I’m suppose to be sex positive.

    I think what would have promoted more sex positivity would be if it was in a more professional setting (e.g. brothel, bath house, or filming studio), the guy was better dressed (jeans and a tshirt with his brand would have been fine), listed a criteria, and had more meaningful things to say about safer sex. Just my two cents.

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  5. CT Says:

    He looks like slob. I don’t care what your message is; if you are trying to promote something, and it involves your “brand” (I HATE saying that but it is where we are now), be a profession. Put the soda bottle and the Pringles can away. Come ON!

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  6. ATWYSingle Says:

    I’ve followed this guy on Twitter since his disaster of an appearance on xoJane. He wears stupid statement t-shirts about sex-positivity and writes sensitive articles about being a dude on Weight Watchers so women will feel more comfortable with him. He may as well buy a fedora. He’s no different than the pick up artists he condemns in the xoJane article. He uses a shtick to attract women.

    As we recently learned from Joss Whedon’s ex-wife, guys this public and insistent that they are feminist allies are suspect. Someone recently sent me a link to a story a guy I was once involved with wrote. This guy is an abusive narcissist – cheated on girlfriends repeatedly, lied, etc – but if you read that story and others he’d written you would think he was some feminist hero. He’s not a good guy, not by a long shot, but of course women flocked to the comments to tell him what an inspiration he is.

    We have to start calling this shit out when we see it.

    As for the video itself, it’s gross. And the woman involved doesn’t get a pass. I’m not sure what she thought would be accomplished in ten minutes but there’s something off about anyone who would agree to something like this. Call me slut-shamey all you want.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 3

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