Days of Whine and Roses

April 6th, 2018

Article Roundup, Drama Queens, NEW!, NOPE!


This has been the week that not just Jesus was ressurected from the dead. Three personal essays were published on three different sites, all of which were reminiscent of the days when xoJane published literally everything submitted to them and editors threw clueless writers under the bus.

Here we go:

Guys, It’s Super Hard Being Pretty

Don’t Date Jews, Am I Rite? (Note: I hate the word Jews as I think it’s derogatory. I’m using it ironically here.)

She Got To Be His Prom Date, But I Get To Haunt and Nag Him FOREVER.



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16 Responses to “Days of Whine and Roses”

  1. Dark Sarcasm Says:

    It appears you put up the ‘beautiful woman’ link up twice


  2. sarah Says:

    As someone who’s been hate-reading Victoria Higgins for the better part of an hour, I’ve concluded that it’s not fair to critique her character, her choices, or her writing. She has a lot of disappointment ahead of her. Let’s hope she keeps up with the blog posts.


  3. Sheba Says:

    I work in media, I’m a journalist and editor myself. I’ve always found xoJane utterly unreadable. Literally, I cannot read it. The vapid subject matter, the sloppy unedited braindump writing, the fauxminism….I sincerely cannot wade through it. There has been the odd decent writer on there, but being decent writers they also appear elsewhere so I’ve been able to catch them on a site whose design doesn’t make me want to claw my eyes out. Reddit is the only website that’s visually uglier than xoJane.

    It’s not that I’m so far above a bit of car crash journalism, I read Liz Jones (she might not be known in America…basically she engineers disasters in her life and writes about them as if nobody’s reading), but even I’ve got my limits. xoJane found them.


    • Bluegrass Says:

      Ooh, I love Liz Jones lol. It’s all about the Daily Mail Femail writers.


      • Sheba Says:

        I know. I don’t get the Fail but my mother does (I know, I know) so when I’m there on a Sunday I’ll go straight to the back of the supplement. It’s my guilty, dirty secret.

        But even Liz hasn’t got a patch on xoJane.


        • Sheba Says:

          I mean, she is at least a good writer in the sense that her prose is tight and well constructed. xoJane is sloppy train-of-thought brain dumping. None of it reads as if it’s been redrafted at all.


  4. BTownGirl Says:

    Actual Jew here y’all and I’ve never heard anyone being offended unless it’s being used by, like, an actual anti-Semite. To me it’s no different than saying “Christians” or “Mormons”, so no one have a panic attack if you’ve said it – you’re fine.


  5. jaclyn Says:

    The marriage one reminds me of why it’s usually a really bad idea to get married in your early 20s. This girl doesn’t have the maturity required for a driver’s license let alone a marriage certificate. I’m assuming she’s young since it looked like the article was reprinted from a college newspaper. If she’s older, dear god, there’s no hope for her at all.


  6. Nia Says:

    I was very put off by that “it’s so hardddd being hawt” article.

    The thing is, she had some very valid points, especially about feeling invisible as she aged, and how hard it is when you realize (too late) that developing character and personality is a must, because as a woman, beauty is fleeting unless you’re a model or celeb type. Most women’s conventional beauty is wrapped up in youth, and unless you have outstanding bone structure, a stylist and a makeup artist plus, let’s get real, a really good plastic surgeon, you’re going to age into a kind of ordinary plain looks.


    It really got to me when she was like other women hate me! People put a half drunk bottle of alcohol on my desk to sabotage me! I mean…

    I work in a multi national corporate office and I really struggle to see something like this happen. I’m not saying it wouldn’t, just that I call shenanigans.

    If every single woman you meet hates your guts, you’re a bitch.

    Am I a little jealous of effortlessly cool/stunning/beautiful/super thin women? You betcha. But my friends are all pretty conventionally lovely/pretty/cute. Sure, it stings when men act like you’re an impediment to getting to Your Hot Friend; that’s on *them*, not her. I have my own thing going on, and if a man wants a certain look that’s not me, eh, I’m not for him anyway!

    My own sister is a strikingly good looking woman in the Cate Blanchett mold (sharp, bold features, full, wide mouth, great skin, high cheekbones, etc) and men used to be like “UR SISTER IS SO HAWT” to me *all the f*cking time*. It was annoying as hell. But I didn’t cut her out of my life!

    Plus, for every boring cookie cutter blonde “hottie” there’s a man who prefers a different look—funky artist, gamine tomboy, earth mama, whatever. Conventionally good looking women don’t have a chokehold on men.


  7. fuzzilla Says:

    I saw a funny meme about the prom dress/marriage one:
    “You May Have Worn the Prom Dress with Him, but I Get to Burn Him Alive Inside the Wicker Man! You had him in high school, but he will make our harvest bountiful.”


  8. Yvonne Says:

    Maybe this is what happens when bad writers struggle to meet their deadlines.


  9. AnnieNonymous Says:

    I do think there’s this weird thing in the blogosphere/the liberal sector in general where women who perceive themselves as unattractive (they are usually perfectly fine-looking, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole) refuse to believe the life narratives of beautiful women. I won’t say that being unattractive doesn’t have its perks, but those perks often come at the expense of men wanting something from you. You can’t ask for the exact promotion you want. You can only accept the one that a man decides to offer you, and it often comes with strings attached (in the form of harassment). Just look at the women of Fox News. In general, men treat all women equally horribly. To speak to this particular article, men tend to act as if they have some perverse sort of ownership over beautiful women. There is no right way to be a woman, and if this woman says that her looks have created a divide between her and other people in her specific life circumstances, I believe her. A beautiful woman is no more likely to be a bitch than a normal-looking woman is. A lot of writing on the internet depends on everyone being a perfect liberal, and we know that isn’t true. There wouldn’t be so many think-pieces calling out women like Alexa if those other writers didn’t have an axe to grind with the beautiful people.

    All that said, Alexa’s article wasn’t good. All she does is talk about how she used to be very beautiful and is now merely somewhat pretty due to age. I do think it’s telling that, reading between the lines, she’s single. This is a beautiful woman who failed to find a lasting relationship, and yet her critics will claim that she’s lying, that men must have been falling at her feet. How many men who post here constantly admit that they never actually ask out pretty women? They strategically pursue 6’s and 7’s.


    • fuzzilla Says:

      I confess I didn’t read that article, but I do remember having a realization when I was still online dating. That if I could magically transform myself into the hottest woman I could imagine (not that my looks aren’t fine/decent/okay as-is) – sure, I’d have more dating opportunities, but I’d still have a lot of work to do to find a decent guy in the sea of dick pic senders/users/narcissists, etc. Might be even more difficult to find someone decent, given the larger and wider pool to cull through.

      Basically, that however good or bad you look, a lot of the dating pool sucks ass, either way. Looking hotter may offer you more opportunities but doesn’t magically transport you into a more just, peaceful, and verdant world than where everyone else lives.


    • Nia Says:

      Okay but every. single. woman? How hot is this woman?
      I’ve seen/heard many gushing testimonials from famous blogger’s friends, celeb’s friends, model’s friends, and so on that are like “she’s amazing, she’s a great friend, she’s such a good person!” and we’re talking world class models with drop dead looks here.
      How specific do your life circumstances have to be where women cut you dead at parties and try to organize a coup over your job? Pretty darn specific I’d have to say.

      I feel like there’s different “types” of beauty we’re talking about:

      one is a natural, classic beauty mostly based on proportions and bone structure. That’s something that’s visible your whole life and those are usually people who look good without makeup, in crappy clothes, etc.

      Then there’s “constructed beauty” in which a very pretty woman takes her looks over the top by maintaining a very good figure, having excellent, near-flawless grooming, and dressing fashionably and attractively.

      “Constructed” beauty is what a lot of women (IMO wrongly) respond very negatively to. Partly because it’s interpreted as an offensive maneuver to gain “resources” in the form of male attention, approval, and affection.

      Partly because if you’re working with a “very pretty” foundation, as opposed to a “plain” one, “constructed” beauty is much more effective and can rocket a 5 to a 9. If you’re a “2”, you can bust your butt and maybe get to a “5”.

      I have no doubt that exceptionally beautiful women do suffer and their stories are worth hearing. But not the way that was written. It was just so whiny and self absorbed.


  10. Rob Says:

    So, I understand Carey Purcell took a lot of flack for the Washington Post piece. Having said that… Did we really need her interpretation of why men “wasted her time?”

    They liked her. They were attracted to her. They just didn’t want to settle down with her. Various reasons were given, and like many men who don’t want to continue with a relationship, it’s likely reasons were given that weren’t exactly clear.

    I read elsewhere a more blunt rebuttal. “It was helpful that The Washington Post told me that two men had sex with blondes in their 20s because they were rebelling.”


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