“I also love how WO7 insists that LS and I have been/are “living out of our means.” We’ve both already told him that’s not the case. But he blows past that and ignores it. I have never heard a man or woman say, ‘Eww..he/she rents? No thanks.” Nobody cares about that. It’s just not something people focus on. All people care about is that they can support themselves. And someone who lives with a roommate can’t support themselves.” – Moxie
Because you have. You can deny it all you want, but it’s true. By mid 40′s, you shouldn’t be renting anymore. Bottom line. “Nobody cares”? No, nobody cares in your social circles perhaps. But yes, people care. I imagine they care a lot more about someone who’s still renting in their mid 40′s than someone who has a roommate after age 27.
The bottom line, you’re doing your readers a disservice by encouraging them to ignore people who have roommates and/or live in an outer borough. You tell them to get rid of all the other stupid reasons to hamstring their chances to find love, but you refuse to let go of this one.
The other thing I notice, is your mentality is so out of date. It shows your age. Have you looked at the prices in Brooklyn Heights, Williamsburg, LIC, Park Slope? Your mentality is a fading one. It is no longer unacceptable to live in Brooklyn and Queens.
I think that’s what this all really boils down to. You’re from a completely different generation, and you haven’t changed with the times at all. – WO7
First of all, I’ve long since adjusted my stance of dating people in Brooklyn. Like, literally years ago. I’ve dated men in Hoboken, Brooklyn and Jersey City in the last 2 years. I have to branch out. I’m 44 and single and in Manhattan. Do I like it? Nope. Do I take a pass on men who live in Queens because of the hassle? Yes. My options here are limited so I have to be more flexible, but I don’t have to be that flexible. Even at my age, I still have some options in Manhattan. And since Brooklyn has become such a booming boro, now even people who live there choose not to date outside of it. Why? Because they don’t have to because so many people have moved there. Most people will choose convenience or the path of least resistance. Someone in Brooklyn who can easily find someone in Brooklyn will choose to limit their search to Brooklyn. Same goes for Manhattan. Congrats to you that you’re so open minded. Truly. You’re a better person than most. We get it. You think it’s just awful/terribly/elitist that someone might sniff at the opportunity at dating someone that lives 90 minutes by subway. Well, good for you. Not everybody prioritizes things the way you do. I’d sooner poke my eyes out with a fork than date in the suburbs. The lifestyles and mentalities of people who live there are vastly different than those of people who live in a city. It’s about compatibility. Go right ahead and make your case for how snobbish that is. I don’t have any fucks to give. I don’t date guys with roommates because a) I don’t have trouble meeting men who don’t have them b) because I find that arrangement inconvenient and c) I choose to date men who live a similar lifestyle to mine.
I have never told people not to date in an outer boro. Seriously. NEVER. I have told people to accept the fact that singles in places like Manhattan don’t have to look outside of where they live in order to meet someone. I have suggested that people who insist upon meeting and dating people in heavily populated cities where there’s tons of competition to move to that city to improve their chances. Again, I didn’t make any of these “rules.” Women under 35 in Manhattan don’t have to date in Brooklyn. They’re in high demand. Men in their 40′s don’t have to date in Jersey for the same reason. People aren’t snobs because they don’t want to drive out to a suburb after work or sit on a bus for an hour plus. Valuing time and productivity isn’t an elitist trait. Living 60 to 90 minutes away by subway, car or bus automatically knocks you down to the bottom of list if you’re competing with equally attractive people who are local. That’s just the way it goes.
As far as renting versus owning, I have never..and I mean never…encountered ONE PERSON of any age, male or female – who cared. The only people I ever hear tossing this idea around are the same people who want to know someone’s credit score after a few dates or are otherwise immature about relationships. What most people care about is that whomever they date is financially responsible and stable. That’s it. The rest will work itself out. They’ll take a solid credit rating over a mortgage any day. I have friends that range from 30-50. Some own, some rent. All make a good living in the 6 figures, all financially stable. Not everybody sees the need to own a home in their thirties and forties, if at all. Not everybody wants the responsibility. Not everybody wants to have kids. Not everybody wants to get married. Many people are waiting to meet someone so they can buy a place together. Some folks don’t want to go through the grueling process of trying to buy a place only to have to turn around and sell it a few years later. Other people are divorced or recovering from being out of work or trying to get their finances in order (all while living alone, btw). You want to talk out of touch? Anybody who, in this economy, expects people of a certain age to be owning instead of renting is out of touch. It’s astounding how you accuse me of being superficial when everything you write makes it abundantly clear that you care far more about things only the most shallow of people care about.
What’s truly astounding about your whole comment and most of your rants is that you express the same elitist attitude that you accuse others of having. You have your own biases, but noooooooooooooooooobody else is supposed to have them. Yours are supported by shaky facts and figures, therefore they’re more valid. Sweetheart, you’re no different. You are as snobby and elitist and shallow as everybody else. So get the fuck over yourself. You’re desperately trying to convince me that I’m somehow missing out. Maybe I am. But I don’t care nearly as much as you do.