I cant say I agree with this. I dont want to set up a date via email. I want to do it over the phone. Why? Because its 100 times easier. First off, YOu have to send an email asking if your would-be date is free your day of choice. Then she emails you back. Then you suggest a place, Then you wait for her response. Then you suggest a time, and once again, wait for a response. If she does anything other than accept your proposed day/location/time, you add another round. Also, when I plan dates, I like to plan something in a location between where we both live, so its equally convenient for both of us. If you dont know exactly where she lives, then that’s another round of emails. Since I dont live on these sites and generally check in once a day, this can easily take 1-2 weeks to plan a date. All this can be done over the phone in less than 5 minutes. Insisting on setting up dates over email is a huge waste of time.
Honestly, Im a bit surprised that someone who has no problem with things like first date sex, casual sex and who encourages people to put off commitment as long as possible is so resistant to giving out a phone number. Seems contradictory to me. – M.
I’m genuinely curios as to how you came up with this 5 minute time estimation for setting up a date over the phone. Do you start planning from the moment she says hello? Any chit chat? No? How fun!
I’m also assuming there would be a need for Googling or looking up places and finding addresses and all that. Unless you have a working knowledge of every part of town and the bars in each area. Unlikely.
Then there’s the checking of the schedules.
Pretty soon that 5 minutes has turned in to 15. Maybe 20. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anybody who sits on the phone with a virtual stranger for that long. Most people just say, “Text me the address.”
First off, YOu have to send an email asking if your would-be date is free your day of choice. Then she emails you back. Then you suggest a place, Then you wait for her response. Then you suggest a time, and once again, wait for a response.
Watch this. I’m going to blow your socks off:
“Hey Jane, how does Tuesday or Thursday look for you? Say 8pm? What part of town are you in? I can find a place in that neighborhood and text it to you.”
And…. time. 23 seconds. Most likely, unless she too has some cheap phone, she’s going to reply back within the hour or so and say, “Sounds good! My number is XXXXXXXXX. Looking forward to it.” If it takes her several hours then guess what? She’s not that interested.
Sorry, but if it actually takes you 1-2 weeks to set up a date via email, you are way more trouble than your worth. Unless you still have some chintszy flip phone and don’t have a phone that allows you internet or email access (which should make dating you a barrel of laughs) then you (and she!) should be able to reply to emails on site pretty quickly.
Unless of course you want people to stop whatever they’re doing right then to hop on the phone with you. I don’t know about you, but rarely is someone able to immediately get on the phone. So then you have to set up a time to call and hope that they’re waiting by their phone to answer it.
If it’s that you want to talk to them on the phone first to make sure you aren’t wasting your time, then say that. But don’t use the simplicity excuse, because it’s bogus.
Honestly, Im a bit surprised that someone who has no problem with things like first date sex, casual sex and who encourages people to put off commitment as long as possible
For future reference…..If you’re going to say something seems contradictory, then be sure to point out the contradiction. Don’t just say, “That seems contradictory.”
I’m confused as to how one has to do with the other. I mean, I totally get the failed attempt at shaming me. It’s just that your comparison makes no sense in the context of this discussion. If anything, this supports my argument that hoop jumping and litmus tests and extra steps are a waste of time.
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