Let me ask you a question. Men want to meet singles and do whatever they can to get that date. So, why is it that after all the efforts a guy puts into securing this date, they manage to ruin it pretty much right away? They arrive on the date and talk for a good proportion of the time about their ex-girlfriend and how women don’t understand him.
This has to be one of the biggest no no’s on a first date but guys keep doing it time and time again. Sure there is a time and place to talk about ‘history’ but the first date isn’t it. Most guys think they are being vulnerable and show that they are in touch with their feminine side by talking about their ex. What they are actually saying is:
- That they turn into an emotional wreck when things go wrong
- That they are not over their previous relationship
- That they blame others for the situations life has put them in
- That they have baggage and “unfinished business”
- That they are not that into you
- That you might just be the rebound
This may not actually be the case at all, but by talking about their ex on a date as if they were in a therapy session men are reinforcing these ideas. You need to remember that the person sitting opposite you only have what you say to form their opinions on you. Let’s face it, any of the mentioned issues above are enough for a smart girl to get herself together and excuse herself from the date. Clearly not the desired result you want?
Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself. Of course you should. Being yourself got you the date remember, but it’s important to also remember that your ex is an ex for a reason. Things didn’t work out. Do you really want to waste time on a date talking about them? You need to guide the conversation on a date to the best version of you. Intrigue her and allow her through great conversation to discover all there is to know about you. No need to lay it all out in the first thirty minutes.
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